unfair to men?

Question

dont you think its a bit unfair to meN? a man wants to get a prenup before marrying so he can protect his things and create a contract that he or his wife cannot cheat (equal to both parties) its looked down upon, unless he has lots of money. what if he doesnt? what happens in divorce when he loses everything? he wont have anything to live off and will go homeless. rich people may lose more but they dont lose everything. also why not put a legal vow not to cheat for both parties? why is that degrading to women? shouldnt we get rid of vows also since they are the same thing just are ceremonial and not legal?

also why is it looked down upon if a man wants a paternity test cause he just wants to make sure the child is his? is he really supposed to go in life blindly and not ask questions? not even considering if his wife might be cheating or not?

Answer 1

nothing wrong with protecting yourself as long as you make that protection equal. women have the courts on their side and when you try to take that away and balance it out as much as possible they start saying that you are a bad husband and so forth. in my opinion, if you aren't going to cheat then you should have no problem signing a legal document saying you wont, if you dont want to rip off your husband in the future once again you shouldn't have trouble signing a document and if the child is truly his and you didn't cheat then why not give a paternity test.

Answer 2

You seem far too concerned with what is "looked down upon," and your information about what happens in a divorce is out of date. If a man wants a paternity test, he should get it. If it is a child that has thought of him as their father, then the child's interest should come first (no matter what the test says). If a man wants a prenup, then he should have it--keeping in mind he needs to be with a woman who would agree to this.

It's true that the vows are ceremonial and religious, and not legally binding. That is traditionally the romantic part of the wedding. Some couples only use the "will you take this man/woman as your lawfully wedded husband/wife" and that's it.

The days when the guy lost everything in a divorce has been over for a long, long time. Unless there are children involved, usually the woman has to prove she is disabled or has been abused to get anything more than a year's alimony. If she works, she might not even get that. If children are involved, then the money goes to support the children until they are of legal age, then the woman usually gets nothing. In fact, if there is property involved, she may have to sell the house and split the money with the huband or pay him the equal in equity. The exceptions are when the marriage has lasted for many, many years, but even that goes on a case by case basis. Some women, for example, who have been married for 30 years, are entitled to part of their husband's retirement fund.

It sounds to me that you have a specific situation in mind that you have strong feelings about, so don't over generalize.

Answer 3

I look at it this way. a woman is marring a man for him and not his possessions that he has. so if a woman dont want to sign a prenup. then I would look at that as a sign that shes looking at what I own and not marrying me for love. I dont think anything that was brough t into the marrage should be concidered part of the stufff aquired during the marrage.

as far as the paternity test. if a man thinks his wife is cheating then he should get a test done before signing the birth certificate. sure the woman will be pissed but its your right to have it done. sure you marrage might be over but if it comes back that it isnt your then your divorce got alot cheaper lol. women cry its a violation of trust. but what do they have to hide. after all if they are 100% sure that its yuor child. then they would say go ahead and get it done and when it comes back as it is the fathers child. then the woman has something to yell at the husband and to bring up all the time. we all know women loves to set a man up like this.

so in closing if a woman really loves a man then she should have no problems signing the prenup. after all your suppose to marry for love not love the possessions he has.

and two if a woman has nothing to hide she shouldnt have a problem with a paternity test. after all most the time it comes out in their favor to have something to hang over the mans head lol.

Answer 4

all that just screams that you have some serious insecurities!

prenups are perfectly fine in my book; for rich, for poor, does not matter to me. i believe that everyone has interests they would like protected throughout and after a marriage, and it's everyone's right to do that.

there's no reason for you to go through life without asking questions. but seriously, if you're questioning every little thing, every little move she makes, every breath that she breathes, and so on....it's a bit much for anyone to sanely deal with!

but i agree with the paternity test. i think it should be mandatory at the time of birth that the child and father be tested. granted there are a lot of potential risks to making that legal, but it just might make people a bit more responsible and force them to own up to their own lives.

Answer 5

I think the only reason for a prenup is if you feel like you will divorce this person or that you have lots of money or assets.

I think if you love the one your with and are going to marry them then it is for life.

The paternity crap well since it is designed in nature that thchild resembles alot of the father features unless it doesn't look like you or someone from your family like your dad for instance then get it done. If you can't trust your wife then you should not be married in the first place.

Answer 6

Life isn't fair.

This is one of the reasons why people enter into marriage to lightly. Most will give you the basic excuse of a pre-nup is like saying the marriage is going to fail. Why? You have car insurance & home owners insurance? Is it incase something unforseen happens or is it because you know your going to have a car accident or your know your house is going to burn down?

Unfortunately even with a pre-nup you're not really that well protected since it only protects the assets you have before you get married and nothing during the marriage.

Answer 7

I think if you are that worried about cheating you shouldn't get married. Marriage is to be for life and if you have doubts then rethink it. If you are already married and there are doubts about cheating then you really need to talk them out. Jealousy is a terrible thing.
Paternity tests are fine if you are divorced but not if you are married to the lady now. You are the dad regardless whether you think so or not.

Answer 8

It seems like a man that would do those things is not worth marrying. He is too concerned about gettin used rather than finding a lifetime wife.

Answer 9

no, its not fair....neither is the court system for men...don't get me wrong, there are alot of trashy men out there, but if a wife accuses him of anything in court, it seems like they always take her side