Ok, say for a moment that a woman comes to you, she knows you are married, but she tells you she just wants one or two nights of intimacy...(You know she is sane and disease free...maybe you have known for a year...) Suppose in this scenerio, you are willing to have this one night with this woman EVEN THOUGH you are married... YOU DO NOT WANT TO HURT YOUR WIFE! You are happy, but intrigued and aroused by this other woman. And especailly if you know absolutely for sure that your wife WILL NOT find out!
Why would any guy tell this other woman that he wants to be friends first...?! Before having this night? Wouldn't being friends defeat the whole, 'just one night' thing....? Couldn't the guy get 'feelings' for the other woman? And what if the other woman doesn't want 'feelings', and only wants to relieve a huge drive she has with the married guy?? Why would a guy ask to be friends with someone just asking for sex...? Why not just say no?
What are your opinions?
2007-12-15 03:01:17 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just say no!
2007-12-15 03:04:28 · answer #1 · answered by nm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think that trying to develop feelings for another woman (evidently so that you don't feel guilty/used about a one night stand) wouldn't hurt your wife?
Do you really think you could limit it to a one or two night stand once you develop those feelings/"friendship"?
Do you really think your wife wouldn't find out? People having affairs generally change, and the people closest to you notice. Lots of women (and some men) post here asking about gut feelings that something's wrong, which are often signals that their partner's having an affair.
...and why on earth would you know for certain that someone you don't yet even consider a friend is truly STD-free? And have known for a year? Talked with her other conquests and they say they haven't caught anything?
Besides, what would you do if she's lying, and she does have a STD? Or wants a baby? Or just simply an accident happens and oops, she's pregnant?
2007-12-15 03:10:17 · answer #2 · answered by Katie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you married to your wife in the first place? Let's put the shoe on the other foot. Say your wife has meet an old friend that she is still attracted to & he only wants to borrow her to phuck for a couple of nights of passion & intimacy!!! She don't want ou to know & she doesn't want you hurt! Would you want her to just go for it!?? Once the cheatin' door has been opened in a relationship, it can never be closed again! The first thing it will do is destroy what little trust you have between you & our wife! It will not stop feeding until it has either completely destroyed your marraige, or left you with a life time of mis trust between you & your wife! Keep our attention focused on the woman whose wearing your ring!!! She deserves the attention that your thinking of giving this other woman! Take your wife out & do something completely different for a change!!!! Breath some romance back into your relationship!!! Have fun with her!!!! Let the mistress go.
2007-12-15 03:14:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Several things are at play here.
First, the man (you) is exhibiting the animalistic instinct.
Second, the wifey of this man is betrayed. Guilt will really kill this man.
Third the other lady is very inconsiderate. Sex is so powerful, that you will get 'attached' to this woman. Say what you may. There is no doubt about it.
Fourth that other woman is behaving like a whore. Why would she choose a married guy when she can perfectly have one on her own with someone who is not encumbered.
Fifth your relationship with the other woman is likely to open up to extortion. It may sound harsh but once you do it, you are uneasy what will happen next. You may exchange glances in a social gathering. It is a dead give away.
You are about dip your toe in alligator pond. Be prepared for the consequences.
2007-12-15 03:21:25 · answer #4 · answered by Nightrider 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love your wife, why would you even consider such a proposal.. SHE WONT FIND OUT.. What difference does that make?? YOU , will know,and you will have destroyed your commitment to your relationship. The trust between you two will be GONE,never to be returned again..Even if she NEVER finds out.. Unless you have no sense of decency, you should never even entertain such a situation.. Because also, once done, that SEX ONLY situation then becomes a, Well if you don't what to do it with me again,maybe I'll just tell your wife!!! Do you really want that for yourself,and you loyal and committed wife.. AND, where do you go from there?? I have always viewed commitment as just that COMMITMENT!! If your not satisfied with your situation, leave your marriage,but don't violate the trust of your wife, and violate HER decency, for lust!! I'm sorry I can't say 'Go get that extra affair tiger' but you down deep know what you really have, and believe me, a 'one night stand' or an affair,will follow you for the rest of your life!! One way or another... You know what the right thing to do is, don't you..
SOLOMON
2007-12-15 03:21:04 · answer #5 · answered by solomon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you know this woman is disease free? are you her doctor and examine her personally. or are you just going by she looks healthy. you know a person can have hearpies and not know it for a long time and pass it to others during sex? ever think of that.
also how do you know your wife hasnt put this woman up to this. to see if your are faithful or not. this could be a trap. you know women are evil enough to do this. and has been done on many occasions.
so if you want this. then first divorce your wife and then you can have it. but you cant have your cake and eat it too. you need to choose. do you want the peice or the whole cake. cant have both.
2007-12-15 05:02:20 · answer #6 · answered by Jecht 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he doesn't know if he can trust you and wants to feel the situation out first.
P.S. if this is you, you are making a huge mistake. Feelings do come into play whether you plan it or not. PLUS, hopefully you won't be the married one at some point because karma will get you every time.
2007-12-15 03:05:45 · answer #7 · answered by mosaic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide if its' worth your marriage. She may not find out, but she will suspect something. If you have been married for any length of time, I promise she'll feel that you did something wrong. As far as decease, if this person is willing to have a fling with you knowing your married, how many others has she flinged with before you? She may transmit something that'll melt the condom. Too much risk. I wouldn't if I were you.
2007-12-15 03:28:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, my wife has this innate ability to even KNOW when I gaze upon another woman...to actually bone another woman? Out of the question, because a severed neck just isn't fashionable anymore.
Secondly, cheating is cheating and it doesn't matter if it's one night or the more than likely one minute it lasts...
2007-12-15 03:05:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't kid yourself! Do you actually think you are the only guy! What makes you so sure she is "disease free"? Is it really worth taking a chance on losing everything and hurting someone that you are suppose to be in love with, ( your wife).
2007-12-15 03:10:17 · answer #10 · answered by mrB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he wants to be your friend so that you can be on his roledex as potential booty call whenever, whereever. it'll never be a one night thing when you are approaching it like this.
this whole scenerio is just WRONG, in so many ways.
the wife ALWAYS finds out, there is no possible way to keep it secret for life. and what if you were that wife?
2007-12-15 03:13:04 · answer #11 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋