When your spouse hurts you really badly over & over in many, many different ways, do you ever stop feeling the extreme anger, anguish, pain, gut-wrenching agony, sadness, and despair?
I also am extremely angry at one of the women who should have known better and she is probably living her happy life blissfully unaware. She probably doesn't even know I exist, not to mention my anger and sadness.
My husband is getting psychiatric treatment. I am seeing a psychotherapist and had previous counseling (preacher, counselors, group therapy, hospital). Nothing seems to help me just get over the years of garbage he (& others like the other women or "well meaning" individuals who took his side instead of being objective or supportive) put me through as far as this relationship is concerned.
I think I am damaged as far as future relationships go... Think of a dog in the furthest corner avoiding eye contact. That is how I feel inside. Does a person ever recover from something this severe?
2007-12-15 01:58:25 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are forever a changed woman.
He is a dog.
counselling doesn't work unless he wanted it too.
You loved him and he damaged you. You will grow and put other things inside of yourself. Get off of the computer and count your blessings. Go take a walk and see all the beauty around you.
go to church and get involved with things there. If you have kids, go voulnteer at the school and spend more time with the relatives you have been neglecting.
You will see that the bad memories will be replaced with new ones.
Make the change for the better and move foward as a stronger woman.
2007-12-15 02:17:47 · answer #1 · answered by heartsarebad 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you are going through such a horrible time...
You might think this is harsh, but here it goes...
Only YOU can stop this from happening. It's good that you're in counseling -- you've taken the first step toward healing. Next, and this is perhaps the most important -- you need to GET AWAY from this person. Leave -- go wherever you need to to feel safe and secure, be it a family member's home, a friend, or even a shelter.
The only way that you can completely heal is to get away from the situation and stay away from it.
I wish you the very best of luck...
2007-12-15 02:12:15 · answer #2 · answered by Vicky L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the only one who can answer the question "does anyone ever recover from something this severe?" It is up to you and if your a strong person you WILL! If you have been hurt over and over, why are you still in this relationship? Don't let this man make your life miserable because of his own mental problems. Personally, I would cut all ties with this man and start a new life in which YOU can be happy. Good luck!
2007-12-15 02:04:45 · answer #3 · answered by Margie M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know. My wife has the same problem. I have cheated on her many times. I hope she will get over it. She seems like she has most of all. It hurts me to see her hurt but I do not know what the hell I am thinking when I am doing wrong. I am sure your husband is the same way. I am sure he is trying to do right. Its hard for men like him and I. You can put your head up high. No matter what he does you are the women he loves and you are the strong women that is keeping your marriage together. The other women will be nothing but a lay to him. Take this from a sorry man like my self.
2007-12-15 02:21:33 · answer #4 · answered by William D 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I didn't understand the other woman, was she someone your husband cheated with? I've been accused of being hurtful to my wife and she has thrown her rings at me, cussed me out, we've fought like cats and dogs, it's just tiring. Then we really made up last night. When you say 'I do' to the vows you really got to think about the part that says 'through good and bad' or 'the tough times' and wonder if you can really make it. But if you can't, then it's time to move on. You think your damaged now, but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and your desire to be loved, hang in there!
2007-12-15 02:14:35 · answer #5 · answered by freekin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes the do dear, but it takes time. you have to get that anger out of you. I hurt my gf by talking to my ex gf and other women, I know I did wrong, and loved her. But I hurt her. Just as your hurt. Your husband is getting psyciatric treatment , so he know he has a problem, and is trying to correct it. This is all up to you. If you been hurt so much, all this time, whatever he does, is not going to take the hurt away. Only you can do that. Sit down and think. Talk to good friends, that knew you both. Write down what he did to you, and what he said after, and how many times did he do it again. I'm not saying you should leave him, but if it make you happy to be away from him, than do so. But as I said it's up to you. Good luck
2007-12-15 02:25:07 · answer #6 · answered by napolee_nj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you do. Focus on the fact that you are out that it is the past and that the future is all bright and shiny.
Focus on how you came out on top.
Sure t takes time to fully get over all the hurt and crap you have been through. But never ever forget You got out! You are strong and therefore should be able to forgive and move on
Look to the future not the past
2007-12-15 02:58:33 · answer #7 · answered by MissE 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to reality. The fairy tale is over. Grow up and deal with it. Stop letting people lie to you including shrinks. You don't have to believe me just open your eyes and look around!!! Here are the facts of life:
1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want to hear the truth. You can ask me anything.
I don't lie.
2007-12-15 02:49:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You described how I have felt in the past to a T. You do get over it eventually..I did.and I learned to use that experience to better myself and not let it happen again, and watch out for the signs and begining stages of how the situation unfolded. You'll find someone who will treat you like gold and you'll apreciate it 10 times more because of this experience that you never thought you d get over. One day you'll thank him for being a jackass.
2007-12-15 02:12:45 · answer #9 · answered by Sara 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can recover...but you have to want to move past the hurt and pain in order to move on with your life....Holding on to the anger will not allow you to move on and you will be stuck...You need to forgive...but not for your husband's sake....but for your sake....Are you damaged goods? NO WAY! You are a human being with feelings....and right now you feel broken....It will take some time...but you will get to that place where one day where you will feel alive and happy with your life....
2007-12-15 02:07:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋