2007-12-15 00:42:06 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
So there I was, busily filling cheap imitation ziplock bags with coleslaw, while alternately contemplating how much thrust would be necessary to lob them out of the atmosphere and thinking, carbon footprint aside, I’d still prefer burial by fire over water or air… when all of a sudden, there it was… a mysterious flash of red… just outside the window.
“Is Santa early!?” I wondered aloud.
Panic-stricken, I dumped the coleslaw down my underpants, tossed the box of imitation ziplocks under the tree with the rest of the packages, and assumed my most innocent expression.
I considered ripping the halo off the tree-top angel to complete my ruse, but then the TV set, in its infinite wisdom, pointed out that Santa couldn’t possibly be outside my window, because there he was on Channel 9… plain as day… being handcuffed by NYPD after ripping off a 7-11 in Brooklyn.
Waves of relief—peppered with bouts of confusion and nagging lapses of faith in humanity—washed over me. Ninety-one percent of my brain was busy doing nothing, as usual, but the other nine percent was evenly divided. Half pondering the mysterious flash of threatening red outside my window and the other half making a mental list of the many, many things I would rather have in my panties instead of coleslaw.
There was nothing left to do but give a call to Hubert, head of the vast network of highly trained spies that I keep handy just in case of an emergency such as this one.
“We’re on strike, you silly woman,” Hubert informed me. “Try Google Maps.”
And sure enough… the satellite footage showed him… right there outside my woefully unprotected home… too vicious to call sinister… too sinister to call villainous… the pure unadulterated red-flag-waving EVIL known as the Yamster! Da da da DUM!
Could this be the end of Sueflower!? Will the evil rodent prevail?! Will the vast network of highly trained spies resolve their labor dispute in time to save the day? Will Alec the Dalek come to the rescue with a superbly well-timed extermination? Will some poor unsuspecting relative end up with a meager supply of cheap imitation ziplocks!?
Yeah… I’d like to know how it ends too… but I’m not going another second without a shower.
Cold and squishy….. eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww….
2007-12-15 15:48:33 · answer #1 · answered by sueflower 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Click
2007-12-15 01:03:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just who does he think he is? A bullfighter?
*flies into a red flag induced frenzy*
*charges*
2007-12-15 01:58:57 · answer #3 · answered by WOMBAT, Manliness Expert 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nope haha
2016-05-24 01:38:01 · answer #4 · answered by cornelia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make some yamster jam
2007-12-15 00:48:55 · answer #5 · answered by HaSiCiT Bust A Tie A1 TieBusters 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sing the Yahoo Anthem...that's our little realm's patriotic flag you dolt!
Yahoo Anthem
-We violate
-We retaliate
-We invoke hate
-We master......uh go Yahoo!
2007-12-15 10:30:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Drive faster.
2007-12-15 04:33:14 · answer #7 · answered by Mustardseed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All vermin ought to be shot! Not necessarily humanely.
2007-12-15 00:55:34 · answer #8 · answered by Country Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put rat poison down.
2007-12-15 00:45:40 · answer #9 · answered by Tigris 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Type faster.
2007-12-15 00:46:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋