just lost my job and christmas round the corner?

Question

how can i tell the children they cannot have what they asked for.

Answer 1

I am sorry to hear this and it could not have come at a worser time of the year either - not very sensitive on the part of your employer I would add.

The answers you have had so far please ignore them. Taking on a Credit Card at the best of times is not the solution - I was always taught that if you did not have the financial wherewithal, then you did not get into debt. Hard yes, but so true and we found other ways to get round the situation at the time.

Much depends on the ages of your children. Having said this however, they will be intelligent, bright and hopefully understanding. Sit with them and tell them honestly you do not have the money to buy them the things they have asked for this year and that you will do your level best to make Christmas a Happy Time for ALL of you but on a shoe-string.

Then you go to the Job Centre of Monday, you look in your local paper or on the internet for your locality and see what you can find that is a short-term but paid job. I see in our local paper, companies are looking for packers or cleaners and although these may be menial jobs, at least they will pay until such time you can find a job that is more suitable to your skills and experience.

Have a look in the local charity shops because if you look around, you can pick up all sorts of good items be they clothes or toys or books or jigsaw puzzles or jewellery. Clothes can be washed and ironed to look like new. You then do not have to spend hundreds of pounds you do not have but at least you will have thought of your children. Make it a "fun" trip and see what you can find. There will be Christmas stalls in the market too so do some searching.

Whatever you do, please do NOT borrow - you only have to pay it back in the end and achieves little but extra heartache at a time when money is tight. It does no harm to learn to be frugal at times like these and perhaps the answer in future is to have a second bank account such as a building society account into which you can put £10 per week or something like this - more if you can manage it. This can be your "rainy day" account so that in emergencies, you do have something to fall back on.

When I was in employment, I never put "all my eggs into one basket" and spread my salary into two and sometimes even three separate accounts. I used my main account for standing orders and direct debits, one of the others was my "rainy day" account and the other for whatever subject I wanted to save for at that time. I would save 50p pieces and every time I got £10 worth would deposit them into this account. I now hold onto my one pound coins and get Tesco stamps with these and you will be surprised to learn you do not actually miss spending them but you have at least got food and sundries you can purchase with these stamps.

Unfortunately we live in a society where everybody wants material goods NOW rather than saving for them as was the case when I was much younger. Children want what every child wants but not necessarily because they need them and they soon loose interest until the next wonderful gadget comes along.

They need to learn that "money does not grow on trees" at whatever age. It is one thing if they are earning their own pocket money but when they are still dependent upon their parents, it is up to the parents to control their children's desires. So make your gifts simple but acceptable - you know your children and what will give them pleasure.

This situation may, in fact, be a blessing to you all in the long run. You can still have a wonderful time on little. In my family, we restrict Christmas gifts to £10 per head and you will be surprised at what you can find for this simply by looking around.

May I take this opportunity to wish you and your family a Very Happy Christmas and that the New Year is the turning point needed in your particular family and to learn some valuable lessons about what is really necessary and what you can do without.

Answer 2

i agree with beautyspot23. This would be a good lesson to your children, that you cannot have everything you want. There are always someone less fortunate than your children. Instead, change the emphasis of this year's Christmas. Give what you can afford to give. Christmas is really not about the presents. There's no shame in losing your job, it's just bad luck (unless you made your bad luck, then take it as a lesson). Don't forget to keep looking for work, now's not the time to get discouraged.

I wouldn't get a loan, you're just spending money you don't have or no steady income to make up. I also don't like the lashing out people are giving here. Why are people questioning why he didn't get his kids their presents weeks ago? What difference does it make now? You need to figure out what you can and can't do now.

Answer 3

Sorry you lost your job.... but why can't your children have what they asked for?
Did it not occur to you that Christmas happens EVERY year? Why do people allways overspend at xmas as though they didn't get a warning that it was nearly xmas?!! When exactly were you planning on doing your xmas shopping? Xmas eve?
You'd be unlikely to get what you want then anyway as everywhere sells out of the popular toys by then.
Sorry to be harsh - but its true.
Your children will just have to accept that life is hard and we don't always get what we want. That aside, children don't always remember what presents they got, they tend to remember how much fun it was so make sure you've plenty of entertainment lined up, and if you're really really stuck, contact the Salvation Army - they will supply you with gifts for your children if need be.

Answer 4

Sounds like really bored huh? So I guess ur only just beginning. It's proves that u are a normal person, everybody has a tendency to bored especially if he didn't find the true purpose of his life yet. Questions to consider. 1) Why I am here for? 2) am I doing something that would make my life worth living for? 3) Do I have any purpose ? ^^, Christmas is just round d corner, Do some makeover, excercise, pamper urself, make a plan & make a beautiful year end, Love everybody, nothing more. act now! ha ha!!

Answer 5

I had to tell mine the same thing.We are getting ready to move to ATL and i have been sick alot in and out of the Hospital so this Christmas we are focusing on each other. I let them choose 1 gift of course with a small limit under 50.00 and I am buying them a gift that I cee fit for them as a surprise. I let them choose what was for dinner on Christmas Day and since there are 7 of them we covered breakfast and Dinner LOL. And they are also going to the video store on the 24th to choose movies that we as a family are going to sit down together on christmas day and watch. So for the first time we are doing Family things and truly everyone should try that one time or so.Because life is to short and we as parents are more focused on giving gifts that break instead of heartful gifts that last a lifetime.Good Luck! Merry Christmas

Answer 6

Kids rebound from these things quite easily. If you're unemployed, you may have just given them one of the greatest gifts a parent can give their child and that is a little bit more of their time. Gifts break and get lost. If you can't get over the idea that it is the thought that counts, it might be difficult for your children to not be materialistic.

Although unemployment over the holidays may seem like one of the worst things to strike, know that you have been given the opportunity to enjoy your children while they are on their holiday break.

Answer 7

There is help out there, you just have to look and ask for it, not justr expect it to be handed to you. My family adopted a family for Christmas this year because they asked for help. Go to your local religous affiliate or shelter and ask about these opportunities. Also, get another job ans get them what you can and teach them a lesson about being thankful for what you have. Maybe make up a story of how Santa is giving all the really big toys to kids who are even more unfortunate than you.

Answer 8

I'm sorry it sux u lost ur job. Explain it to your kids. this will be a good lesson for them to learn. If they don't appreciate the situation then take them to a homeless shelter or hospital, or as a family to something nice for someone less fortunate. There is more joy in giving than receiving. Teach ur kids to be grateful for what they have and they don't need the false tradition of giving toys to make them happy. This may turn out to be the best xmas as a family for you yet. money is not everything. an alternative is to give them something that costs little cash but lots of love. like a book of vouchers for things they want to do which they can use when they want. like 1hr palying cricket with mum/dad etc.

Answer 9

I agree with the 1st answer get your self sorted for your childrens sake. Why did you loose your job in the first place? was it your fault? If so then your the person that has to put it right beofre christmas for your children. Borrow some money of a family member or maybe a friend.

Answer 10

Why havent you all ready got your children gifts?
i got all mine for my children ...i dont leave it till last min...i buy some each week
so that i dont end up in your situation
you best go to the bank and get a loan
you dont tell them anything, you make there christmas as best you can, maybe not buy them everything they want
and if you have brought them up well they will know to happy with anything that is given to them