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If so how long? and how do you make it last?

2007-12-14 20:38:07 · 15 answers · asked by HRHGavin 3 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

15 answers

No!!! But don't worry you will get plenty of liars telling you they are. Look at the marriages around and you and don't lie to yourself. You can tell in 5 seconds who is in love andwho isn't!!! Before you get married here are the facts of life no matter what those people say:

1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair

Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want to hear the truth. You can ask me anything.
I don't lie.

2007-12-15 01:06:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

YES. BUT, you know, IMO, being TRULY happily married is not about it being perfect all of the time. It's when at the end of the day, no matter what has been said or done, you know you would marry that person all over again tomorrow, despite the good AND bad times. A STRONG RESILIENT love is what makes one feel truly happily married. AND, of course, having your spouse must feel exactly the same way. You don't MAKE it last, you can't MAKE love do anything, if IT is right, IT just does. I always tell my friends that when they are having relationship problems- in absence of infidelity or abuse of course, that it is pretty black and white IMO- you either love them or you don't. If you don't you are wasting your life. If you TRULY love each other, the rest will all fall into place if you just don't expect it to be perfect because nothing in this life is 100% of the time. The love must be constant though- even if you are so mad at each other you could scream. We have been together 24 years and married 21...through good times and bad, in sickness and in health. I amend what I said about not MAKING it last- just a bit- LIVING each day by those vows helps. I did make them leave out the OBEY line, LOL, and it's become a fun, personal joke between the two of us. ;)

2007-12-14 21:02:08 · answer #2 · answered by 8 6 · 2 0

I've know my husband since 3rd grade and we've been married for going on 3 years. We are expecting our first baby, a little girl in just a few weeks and I love him more than ever. We have a wonderful relationship and sometimes when I think about how lucky I am I can't help but cry tears of happiness. We had a rough patch when we first got married but it was just typical first year stuff. I truly believe we are soulmates and I can't imagine my life without him. Several of our friends comment on what a "perfect" couple we are. Don' t get discouraged by other people's negativity. Know that there is someone special out there for you and you will find them! Both my parents are on there third marriage (and still unhappy) and I thought I too would be cursed but I know my husband and I will be together forever. Good luck and when you least expect it, love will find you!

2016-05-24 01:20:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

We've been married for nearly 12 years.
I am truly married. Most days I am happily married.
But it's life -- are you truly happy every single day of your life? No, there are ups and downs. It is not exaggeration that marriage takes hard work and dedication -- most things do if they are worth it. Some people are naturally easy going and therefore will have an easier time in a marriage. I'm a conflicted, hot tempered person -- so is my marriage.
But even on the days when I really just don't want to be around him, I know that he is the one I can count on above all others. I know that when we are old, he will still be there... for better or for worse. And that's what makes me truly, happy.

2007-12-14 20:52:04 · answer #4 · answered by Kanga2roos 2 · 1 0

Yes, I most certainly am! I'm fairly confident he is too! While we're classed as newly-weds, we've been together for 9 years (10 years this coming June - we married on our 9th anniversary!)

We actually started out as really good friends first... I guess through all our little chats, we kind of knew what the other person was looking for in a partner too (bit of an advantage! lol) Our relationship grew from there.

We're both quite similar in temperment (read - stubborn! lol), however we both respect each other enough to consider the other person's feelings, and consult each other before making decisions that might affect either one of us.

Money has never really been an issue for us... we opened a joint account years ago, so any issues that would have been raised through that have already been dealt with.

Neither of us expected "marriage" to change anything, basically, it was a big party to celebrate our committment to each ("I choose you above all others" kinda deal).

However, all that said, there's a LOT of laughter in our relationship too. While we're husband and wife, we ARE still best friends, and love and care enough about each other that we want to do what's right for the other person.

We have a very healthy relationship, we don't really argue as such, it's more "banter" - and a majority of the time, it's affectionate banter :-) we certainly never go to bed angry (it's hard too when all hubby has to do is pull a face or say something, and I'm laughing hysterically again! lol)

Communication is an important factor too. Being able to say sorry when you're wrong (and sometimes when you're not). Being able to talk with each other, and understand how the other person feels. Then again, being able to sit in a room together and NOT have to talk is good too... that's when you know you're truly comfortable with someone - just "knowing" they're there... but not needing to say anything.

Forgiveness is another thing. Being able to work through the hard times, we all make mistakes. Being able to work through those and "truly" forgive someone for a mistake. Being mature enough not to keep bringing up past mistakes (you haven't truly forgiven someone if you're doing this!)

Trust also! I know of several women (and men too) who hide "purchases" from each other - even if it's just something "small" - it's still a deception (hiding something in the back of the wardrobe, and bringing it out at a later date, pretending you've had it all the time) - you can't have trust in a relationship if there's deception! (I'm not including "surprise" gifts etc in this - just personal purchases etc)

There's no such thing as the perfect man/woman - however, there is such a thing as the perfect man/woman for YOU! I believe I've found my perfect man, I've married him, and I'd marry him again in a heartbeat!

Hope that helps... if you're going through bad times right now, try to work together and find out where the problem is - you may well be able to find a solution together, and become closer in the process... talk to each other, and share moments together... it's really important to have quality "couple" time together... and you may find yourselves rekindling that flame again!!! :)

2007-12-14 22:06:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Yes of course I am
We have only been married a year and 5 months. We were engaged two weeks after dating and married a year later.
Every time we fight it only last a few minutes and we never go to bed mad at eachother. We even work together and sit beside eachother at work. Since that we have never been closer or happier.

2007-12-14 20:43:31 · answer #6 · answered by blondjellybean84 3 · 0 0

yes, i have the love of a good, kind and caring woman. We have our disagreements and things aren't always easy. We always manage to make th ebest of it and have as good a time as we can getting there. We share work and play, give each other whatever time away is needed and so we are not apart that much. yes yes yes, very happily

2007-12-14 20:54:03 · answer #7 · answered by tequila lucky 3 · 1 0

Yes, we are.

Together 14 years, Married 11, and 3 kids.

We listen to each other, if we have a problem we talk. We don't go to bed mad (hardly ever anyway :->).

We just have fun together, we laugh and joke and banter. She calls me a "Big A**", which is a term of endearment...

The sex is great... I think that is a big part of it, and so does she.

Hope this helps.

2007-12-14 20:55:40 · answer #8 · answered by Simian Menace 3 · 1 0

yes! well, most of the time anyway!! ;-) we've been together for 25 years, married for 20 of them, and we are still best friends. The best thing to make your marriage last is honesty, and communication.

2007-12-14 22:25:19 · answer #9 · answered by josie_cy 2 · 0 0

i consider myself blessed and love my husband. we are newlyweds. the only thing that has caused me pain and doubt is the fact that after we were married i found out he looks at porn every single day and only has sex with me twice a week...and i am young, fit, and more than willing to satisy his every need. i am working through this heartache now. if not for that life with him would be perfect. sadly though this porn issue is affecting my self esteem to the core.

2007-12-14 20:47:11 · answer #10 · answered by Heather 3 · 0 0

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