I can´t make up my mind about having kids or not..?

Question

I don´t know if I just don´t want them or that I am not ready, however I´ll be 33 this month...
my situation:
*+long, stable and good relationship with husband
+3 bedroom flat
+husband is currently out of work, but is looking for a new job and never takes a long time to find another good hob
+I am at college, but will finsh in 1 year
+no family or friends nearby

so what do you think? what should definately improve/change or are they just excuses??

Answer 1

Wait to finish school, then have a baby. If you have no close support (i.e. family), the baby will cause scheduling problems.

Kids are the greatest thing you will ever do, but do it when the time is right.

After you finish school, or you may not finish, I have seen it more than a few times.

Answer 2

You are not ready if you have to even ask the ?...you will know when the time is right...I ...for one, thank my God everyday for 2 sons. .Can't even remember how life was before they come into my life..and I don't want to remember. Having a family will be the most important thing you will ever do, I've had a lot of jobs, but my best, by far, has been to be a job as a Mother. . and when they were little , I was paid for my job with hugs and kisses. , and now since they are adults, I still get my pay with big bear hugs. So...this question you are asking is difficult for us. We can't tell you what to do. We can only tell you what we have done or will do. . .But honey...I am here to tell you.. The first time you feel your baby move inside you, is a moment you won't ever forget and from that moment, you are Mother for the rest of your life. I would not trade it for a zillion dollars. good luck ya, I know you will make the right decision. . .but also keep in mind, your biological clock is ticking..Don't wait until it is too late. Good luck!

Answer 3

you need to do some soul searching to figure out if you really want to have children. Really give it a lot of thought, as this is the single biggest decision anyone ever makes. Seriously, this is THE big leagues (at least if you wish to be a responsible parent and not popping out kids simply because it is expected). Remember, it is a decision...there are no musts, unless you have a child then you must raise the child (20+ years). Many of us are child-free and do not wish to reproduce. While there is a stigma attached to us, we function quite well in society.

Think and feel your way through this very very carefully. Fully explore all options. The could be no bigger decision.

Good luck

Answer 4

I have 5 daughters, 3 of whom have children. One of the others is thinking about adopting, so my advice is to figure out what you want. You'll always have other things going on in your life, so if you're waiting for the "right" time, it'll never come. Do you like children? Do you feel a need to have one of your own? When you know the answer to these, you'll know when , and if, you should have a child.

Answer 5

You could start trying and then by the time you have the baby he should have a job..if thats what you are worried about.
you have a house....a good relationship...and in college...which is a plus, as long as you can continue your education with the baby then theres nothing wrong with that either.

Okay no friends or family nearby, thats okay too. you dont NEED friends and family close....if you want friends you could always join a parent group closeby?

quick go jump in bed.. and start working on it, if you really want a baby!!
Oh and you are getting a little bit older, not to be rude or anything .... tick tock tick tock.... ;)

Answer 6

Whatever situation you're in right now - you have to remember that once you have kids, you can't "return them" to where they came from once your plans for your life start getting messed up. Kids take a lot out of a woman and if you're not psychologically ready and emotionally ready to give up certain aspects of your life, career and total lifestyle, I would advise against having kids. Talk to people who have kids and ask how having kids has changed their lives and try to assess if you can see yourself in their shoes. Because once you have a kid of your own - there's no turning back and if you want your kid to grow up wholesome and happy - you have to be content with being a mother and happy as well.

Answer 7

I find it not that hard to make up your mind. either that you want kids or not. Why you making a big fuss over nothing hard for you to make up your mind about? Sure there are other things is going on in your life right now. Because your husband is out of work, you finish school within a year. You will need a job once you finish school...etc....etc.....

Answer 8

I don't think they're excuses.I think you should wait until you're out of college,it's not too long and you won't have to get up and be working on your studies while pregnant that way.It's hard enough as it is,without having to have that stress too.And by then your husband should have a new job,meaning financial stability aswell.You have nothing to worry about,you're not too old to have a baby!

Answer 9

EXCUSE""" no one is ever ready for children , you just have them and do the best to you'r ability to raise them right,
Money college, big flat, car's and all that will not make you any different whenyou have a child it will only make you better because you then are a unit, not just a couple.
P.S> if you do't get to it you will regret not have one , later in life.

Answer 10

get out of college /husband needs a job/i never wanted kids had my at 42 its the best thing in my life its hard belive me but i couldnt tell you how much love you will have its great wish i would have had more