Please read?? need advice on what you think...?

Question

Tell me what you think of this poem i wrote for my dad
(his Christmas Present)

My Old man

My old man if an old man of that
He’s loosing his hair for a matter of fact
He’s gaining a little more, so he’s not so flat

His personality has stayed the same
He still knows how to keep things tame
He knows how to make me laugh
Especially when I’m going through a rough patch.
Even if I don’t always listen to him when he’s giving me advice
I always think back later and think of how he really does try

I would like to thank him for all the things he buys
And for all the merchandise.
He gives me everything I need
As long as I keep our room clean

He made me watch all the Wild West Movies
And although some may be mucky
When ever I see one at the movie store I go
“Eh, I bet It’s not as good as The Good, Bad and the Ugly.”

You see I love my old man
And think he’s a pretty swell guy
So if you ask me I’d say
“I thank my Pop, for the wonderful life.”

Answer 1

That's Good

Answer 2

Don't call it "my old man" and take out or change the first verse. It would make your father feel like he aged 15 years just for Christmas.

Answer 3

Nice. Best wishes on Christmas.

Answer 4

That's terrible. You said he's fat and balding, and what you appreciate most is what he buys for you.

On top of that the "poem" itself is not written well. Buy him some aftershave or something and leave his dignity intact.

Answer 5

i think its a wonderful poem gifts such as this is more valuable then those ''buy , wrap and gift'' items.... even i always love giving my parents hand made gifts...............

Answer 6

ITs ok I think it should rhyme alittle more or talk alittle more loving towards your dad I dunno thats my opinion