The hidden phone numbers (Listed as department at her work) the text messages arranging a meeting,( Younger man at her work), even the smell in her hair and between her legs one night. It is all explained away by her logically. I know she has cheated on me, I have enough evidence to confirm it but it appears that even a photo of her doing the thing would not get admission or remorse from her. I have tried to keep my faith in her. She will not admit to anything and after two years my self esteem has disolved, I have no trust in her and depression haunts my every day. I cant hold down a job and have gone form a warm caring man to one who is bitter and angry everyday. I dont sleep and my health is deteriorating.
The question is after two years of trying how do I get her to admit to it and start to help repair this marriage (and my life) or is it time to jus bale out.
I always felt that her admission, regret and appology would restore some value to this marriage and trust to our life.
2007-12-14 17:00:45 · 14 answers · asked by norm d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to move on with your life. You deserve to be with an honest woman that values you and won't cheat.
2007-12-14 17:21:08 · answer #1 · answered by Contemplative 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's been 2 years and you can forget about getting an admission or apology from her. It probably has become a game to her to see how long she can go before being absolutely caught and has to admit it. Her admission will NOT bring any value or trust to this marriage. You have to think of yourself and what it is doing to you. You DON'T trust her and you're getting more and more depressed. You need to pull yourself together and concentrate on getting yourself back together and just let her go on her way. Your emotional and physical well being is more important than her. Why should you care about someone who doesn't care about you? It's probably a fact you don't want to hear...but true. You're not going to repair this marriage because you will get no co-operation from her. All an admission from her will do is confirm what you already know in your heart and if you let it ....depression will be even a bigger factor in your life. Things will only improve when you decide enough is enough and work at putting your life back together....been there!! Don't let her dictate your life. You are stronger than you realize and you will pull through this. Many have...you're not the only one here who has dealt with this situation. We can give you all the advice in the world but you are the one who has to decide to step up and pull it together. Good Luck my friend.
2007-12-15 09:44:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All that would do, is make you feel justified as having reason to be suspicious - and give you RIGHT to not trust her and be a bitter worthless person. I cannot for the life of me figure out how you think value and trust could come back IF she were to.....feel something she does not feel?! That is like totaling your car, and then putting an expensive paint job on it. It might LOOK better, but it is NEVER going to be the car it once was.
The reality of it all, is that you are allowing your OWN suspicions to RUIN your life! It very well could be that she has NOT stepped out on you! Could she EVER convince you?
IF you keep sniffing at her heals and accusing her WHILE letting yourself turn in to a pile of dust, she eventually WILL leave you.
IT HAS BEEN TWO YEARS. Either put this all behind you and MOVE ON, or LEAVE. You are making a big fool of yourself - she is NOT going to admit, regret, or apologize - she may not have reason to in the first place!
2007-12-15 01:31:24 · answer #3 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a team sport, it requires 2 people to make it work. You can spend all the time, effort and energy and do everything all the marriage books tell you to do, but if your wife wants nothing to do with any of it, and she doesn't put any effort into the marriage, you're not going to have much of a marriage. You say it's turned you into a bitter, angry man, that's not what a good marriage is supposed to do. You say it's even affecting your health.
I would probably, for arguement's sake, make 1 last ditch effort. Either your wife agrees to marriage counseling with you, or you file for divorce. You can't keep going the way you're going now though.
Good luck.
2007-12-15 01:36:48 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People believe what they want to believe about the one they love. -She/he could never do that to me...etc- She is banking on that with you, so she keeps up with it in hopes of perpetuating the lie and saving face, because after years of this, she would not only have to admit to the original breach of trust and fidelity, but an entire 2 year span of deceit.
Sounds as if you've reached an impasse in your marriage. You can't move past this until she comes clean. She can't admit any wrong doing. At this rate, you have a dysfunctional relationship at best. Marriage counseling may be your only savior.
Best of luck to you both.
2007-12-15 01:20:34 · answer #5 · answered by NurseJenipants 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your wife cheated on you and your waiting for her to tell you that she cheated on you, feel that by doing this would retore your realationship If she shows know remouse for doing this than why are you letting this affect your health and self esteam. I take it that your still in love with this woman but you have some trust issues. If she doesnt want to come clean with you than you cant force her to. This is your choice do what is best for you and stop thinking about her but think of your self.
best of luck
2007-12-15 01:11:33 · answer #6 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this ones not so easy i guess you really love this woman to know shes doing this have proof and still be willing to stay with her but honey if she did it once she will do it again and again until you finally are so broken down you cant be fixed if you have tangible proof confront her if not hire a private investigator to follow her thats how my friend caught her now x husband which means you will have to hold down a job to pay him if you cant get her to confess just leave its the best thing for both of you because if she is doing this she dont want to fix things with you and you sound to me like you deserve better than that. there are good women out there who would appreciate a man that dont cheat. you need to find one of them
2007-12-15 01:11:31 · answer #7 · answered by child4jc74 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my good friend its time too bale-out this is the qestion thats been playing on your MIND...she will never own up too doing anything wrong forget about getting appology from her you wont get it!shes already played around and maybe this is her way off saying its all over...man2man i say this too you,your health and well being and your LIFE is more important than worries!
2007-12-15 01:20:08 · answer #8 · answered by earthman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say cut your losses....How many times do you want to be kicked in the teeth by your wife? You know she is cheating....but she will most likely deny it until her dying day....Get out now...Because you can't rebuild your marriage on your own...you will need her help and it doesn't appear that she is going to help.....Focus on your life without her....and think of your life as a new beginning....
2007-12-15 01:10:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
get a private investigator to photograph her and then when she is out take all your stuff and half of the marital stuff, empty half of the bank account and leave to a different apartment and get a lawyer (female perferably) also change the locks and throw away the key (just for the giggles)
2007-12-15 01:05:34 · answer #10 · answered by DJ M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋