she is 28 and I am 31.
2007-12-14 13:59:49 · 28 answers · asked by Miles 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wait....if you push her to have children, she could end up resenting you later. You are still young at 31, and will have plenty of time for children. Enjoy you're freedom, and you're wife before you have kids. You will be thankful later, when you are really able to both decide, and give them everything they deserve...and they deserve a mother who truly is ready to have children.
2007-12-14 14:04:49 · answer #1 · answered by Suni 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your choices are:
*wait until she's ready
or
*have kids with someone else
Has your wife said WHY she is not ready to have kids? There could be lots of reasons.
If there was abuse in her childhood home, she may be afraid of repeating the cycle. If so, counseling might help.
Perhaps she's not ready for the responsibility.
Perhaps she has career goals, or other life goals, that she wants to accomplish first.
It's hard to tell. Anyway, maybe the two of you can talk about these issues, and come to some sort of compromise. If she wants to wait five more years, you could compromise and agree to try in two or three years.
Ultimately, the woman has to carry the child, deal with being pregnant, etc.
Another thing to explore is why do you want children now? Your wife hasn't said she doesn't ever want them, just that she's not ready yet.
Best wishes, I hope this helps.
2007-12-14 14:07:35 · answer #2 · answered by kyeri y 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to discuss specifics with her about why she is not ready. If she is just afraid for various reasons, talking about it can help ease her fears and maybe get her closer to being ready. You also need to look at where your life is.. do you go out a lot, or stay in most of the time? Do you have friends with kids, or are they childless? If you are still into going out and hanging with friends a lot and those friends do not have kids, you have to realize your life will do a 180 once you bring kids into the mix.
Most important is to just talk to her. You can both discuss the pros and cons of having a baby right now versus waiting another couple years.
2007-12-14 14:07:03 · answer #3 · answered by DawnanawnaBB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can guarantee that if the situation was reversed, people would tell her to talk to you and convince you that you ARE ready. But being you are a man, they'll probably say wait until she's ready. Don't know why they have such a double standard, but they do.
Ask her why she's not ready, and what you both can do to get ready. Also, remind her that neither of you is getting any younger.
2007-12-14 14:03:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well at least you two are married and your both up in age. Talk to your wife tell her that your ready and she needs to start thinking about how hard it will be when she wants to have a baby and it might be too late. My ex up and got a girl pregnant cause I wouldn't give him a baby after 4yrs. Don't be a jerk like he was just talk and everything will work out better.
2007-12-14 14:05:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you discuss this with your wife before you got married? If she is not ready to have children then you need to respect her decision. She is the one who will have to carry it for 9 months. She will be the one who will mostly take care of her physically because you will be at work. If she is not ready then she is not ready. Keep on talking to her but don't nag her.
2007-12-14 14:06:15 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe she doesnt want kids because she is a bit young. 28 seems a lot, but it isnt. just wait a couple more years. dont worry, ur not gonna grow old, just let her turn 30 and she will be ready all by herself. best of luck. just talk to her okay, and if not, take her to a childy place to show her how kids are so cute and playful, especially babies.
2007-12-14 14:04:18 · answer #7 · answered by LamaaaSTAR★ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You cant force her to have kids, but u have to talk to her about it because in a relationship, u have to compromise and it looks like she dosent really care about your needs. If you tell her this maybe she'll listen. Also, the longer you wait, the harder it will be for her to have kids and raise them. If she wants to wait a bit longer, you have already waited 5 years, whats a few more.
2007-12-14 14:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wait until she's ready. i was 31 and pregnant with my first
child, we were married for 8 years, my husband is 6 years
older than me. i wasn't ready to be a mom, i needed to get
alot of things out of my system first, (partying, vacations etc)
its a big responsibility and i knew i wasn't ready for that,
i think because i waited it makes me a better mom, i don't
have any regrets.
2007-12-14 14:06:54 · answer #9 · answered by Mary S 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your never ready. Just make sure it's a great marriage to bing up some children. Otherwise you could end up paying for child support and not being happy. Children are great but need both parents in their lifes. Good luck.
2007-12-14 14:03:07 · answer #10 · answered by Leonidas 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋