1. When our joy is at its zenith
2. Bah! Humbug,y'all.
3. I certainly hope you have a GOOD excuse.
4. Quick!! KISS ME! KISS ME !
5. I would sell my grandmother for a drink; And you know how I love my grandmother.
6. I would like a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of champagne....But I'll settle for a Twinkie and Diet Pepsi, if you share it with me.
7. You are certainly NOT from planet Earth.
8. The tranquility was soon interrupted by the sound of _____.
9. You've been been at the sherry again.....Haven't you, dear?
10. God bless us everyone....... Even you.
2007-12-14 13:59:48 · 9 answers · asked by I am Sunshine 6 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
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2007-12-15 01:09:12 · update #1
•••••►►••••• AND THIS LATEST ONE:
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071215062328AAvdEFN&r=w
2007-12-15 01:25:59 · update #2
The phone call from Santa began with him asking, “I certainly hope you have a GOOD excuse.”(1) Those were not the words I wanted to hear the week before Christmas. But Santa knew that I had been indulging a bit too much and he wanted me to know that he knew.
He was pleased however when we got around to my request for this year, “I would like a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of champagne....But I'll settle for a Twinkie and Diet Pepsi, if you share it with me.” (2) And so we made plans to meet Christmas Eve at the fireplace. I promised not to light a fire and he promised to put diapers on the reindeer so that they wouldn’t foul up my roof again.
The night arrived for his annual visit. Snow was lightly falling, the television had playing a series of versions of A Christmas Carol. The current one playing was the 1938 version. The clock struck midnight as he descended the chimney. The tranquility was soon interrupted by the sound of reindeer landing. (3)
This is the time when our joy is at its zenith (4), but his first words were, “Bah! Humbug, y'all. (5) The kids have been difficult this year. They want nothing but blackberries, ipods and basically anything that comes with a battery. What happened to sleds and tops, dolls and roller skates?”
Now it was my turn, to have a heart to heart with my AA partner, “You've been at the sherry again.....Haven't you, dear? (6) We’ll have to sober you up before you continue.”
Santa and I have these meetings once a year for our mutual support.
2007-12-16 10:37:26 · answer #1 · answered by frodo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
...........
1. When our joy is at its zenith
2. Bah! Humbug,y'all.
3. I certainly hope you have a GOOD excuse.
4. Quick!! KISS ME! KISS ME !
5. I would sell my grandmother for a drink; And you know how I love my grandmother.
6. I would like a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of champagne....But I'll settle for a Twinkie and Diet Pepsi, if you share it with me.
7. You are certainly NOT from planet Earth.
8. The tranquility was soon interrupted by the sound of _____.
9. You've been been at the sherry again.....Haven't you, dear?
10. God bless us everyone....... Even you.
2007-12-15 08:20:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
15 year old Jamie came into the house at 3:00 a.m. His mother yelled at him "I certainly hope you have a GOOD excuse," Jamie was like yes I do I went out to a restraunt and said to the waitress "I would like a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of champagne....But I'll settle for a Twinkie and Diet Pepsi, if you share it with me." She replied "You are certainly NOT from planet Earth." He was about to say something when the tranquility was soon interrupted by the sound of screaming. He ran outside and a man was lying on the ground. The man's girlfriend or wife said "You've been been at the sherry again.....Haven't you, dear?" Before the man died on that street he ended his life saying "God bless us everyone................Even you," looking at his girlfriend or wife.
2007-12-14 22:10:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Joanie was talking to her boyfriend, James Arness.
" Listen , Joanie I've got to leave".
" I certainly hope you have a good excuse."
"I've got this new woman in my life."
" Bah! Humbug,y'all".
Then Joanie starting bursting out I Will always love you by Whitney Housten.
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=wAvu68W-ZQs
"ZZZ. Madness takes it's toll. And my toll is $5."
"You've been been at the sherry again.....Haven't you, dear?"
"Quick!! KISS ME! KISS ME !"
" I've been missing your strawberry kisses"
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=jNKLn0A-1CM
"You are certainly Not from Earth!"
"Not even my 7 year old daughter likes that song".
Then for 5 minutes it was very tranquil.
The tranquility was soon interrupted by the sound of bubbles popping.
James Arness popped out to see his one true love Sunshine Matt Baby.
" Care for a drink, cutie pie".
" I would sell my grandmother for a drink; And you know how I love my grandmother."
"God bless us everyone....... Even you."
"When our joy is at its zenith , great things happen."
James and Sunshine rode off into the summer sunset.
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=uIQyFc67n3k
2007-12-14 23:11:42 · answer #4 · answered by Max A 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
CHRISTMAS EVE WITH KITTY AND GEORGE
"Quick!! KISS ME! KISS ME! I’m not just standing under this mistletoe for my health, you know!” begged Kitty. George answered. ”Actually, while mistletoe might just be the most fun plant around, it would be definitely bad for your health, since it is highly poisonous. Don’t eat its leaves or berries.” Kitty frowned and asked, “Why WOULD I do that?" George replied, “Well, it is an herb!! I just didn't want you to get any exotic ideas. Don’t use it to brew a cup of tea, and don’t let the kids play with it.” Kitty asked testily, “Mr. Smartypants, why are we standing here having an intellectual discussion? Let’s get back to that part about mistletoe being FUN!! I’m getting tired of standing around with my lips puckered, and no action!” ..... “I’d love to,” answered George, as he wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace. “Can I have a little tongue with your sugar?”
“Ummm, Kitty,” George asked, “You've been been at the sherry again.....Haven't you, dear? I can taste it.” Kitty replied sexily, “Well, kiss me again, and tell me what I had for dinner!” George answered, “Actually, I missed dinner. Can we do something about that?” Kitty replied in exasperation, “George, here I am all ready for romance, and you keep changing the subject. What would you like?” George answered sheepishly, “I would like a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of champagne....But I'll settle for a Twinkie and Diet Pepsi, if you share it with me.” Kitty answered, “The boys left some cookies and milk, for Santa, and a couple of carrots for the reindeer, if you would like to snack on that while I fix you a sandwich in the kitchen.......”
The tranquility was soon interrupted by the sound of the pitter patter of little feet running towards them. Their six-year old twin boys, George and Ben, came bounding into the room. “Mom! Dad! Come Quick!” they said in unison. Kitty said, “Slow down there, space cadets. I certainly hope you have a GOOD excuse for being out of your room. You are supposed to be sound asleep, all snug as a bug in a rug! Santa won’t leave you any presents if you aren’t asleep when he comes. ” Ben answered. “We know! We know! But, there is a giant cockroach loose in our room, and we need you to kill it.”
Kitty said, “It must be that cockroach from Hell we keep hearing about. It DOES get around.” George said to the boys, ‘I’ll be right in—just give me time to find my special cockroach hunter baseball cap, and grab my flashlight, and I’ll be in hot pursuit.” George, Jr. said, “I think that’s code for Dad needs to use the bathroom!”
“OK, Cockroach Wrangler Dad reporting for duty,” said George. He looked all over the room with his flashlight, but could not find his quarry. “Sorry, guys, no luck,” said George. “Maybe La Cucaracha Grande has moved on to spread his Christmas cheer somewhere else in the neighborhood. Now, you guys get to sleep so Santa can come.”
Later, in the living room, George is struggling to put together the bicycles that need “some assembly required.” .... “These ##@&)!! bikes are driving me nuts!!” he exclaimed. “You know what? I need a drink! I don’t think I can do this without a drink. I would sell my grandmother for a drink; and you know how I love my grandmother.” Kitty responded, “Now, George, don’t lose your Christmas spirit!” George exploded, “I’m way beyond that. In fact, Bah! Humbug, y'all!!” Kitty asked sweetly, “If I bring you a Scotch and Soda would that help?” George answered grimly, “Make it a DOUBLE.”
As Kitty was leaving the room to make the drink, she said to George, "God bless us everyone....... Even you."
2007-12-15 08:46:50 · answer #5 · answered by soupkitty 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
"Quick!! KISS ME! KISS ME !" the husband said as he quickly grabed his wife, Marie, eyes unable to focus.
"You've been been at the sherry again.....Haven't you, dear?"
"..........Noooooo." he slured.
"I certainly hope you have a GOOD excuse." marie said"
" you know how I would sell my grandmother for a drink; And you know how I love my grandmother."...he began
"welll...i had to get her back from the bartender"
" and............." the wife furthered.
" and well, ..........I got her back"...he yelled
"God bless us everyone....... Even you!!' the husband randomly shouted out his window.
" You are certainly NOT from planet Earth." Marie teased.
" "Oh...come on you kno u love me, Clare....You said so last night at the hotel............" the husband said be fore he dosed off.
shocked by this, Marie (his wife)...drove him to the hotel...and............well...the husband was never seen again
2007-12-14 22:12:10 · answer #6 · answered by kaMEron™ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Quick! KISS ME, KISS ME!"
I looked at my best friend bizarrely. Because that's who Sam was and always will be. My BEST FRIEND.
"Are you okay?" I asked hesitantly.
Don't get me wrong. Sam was cute, with her brunette, flickish style and doleful eyes. I mean, sometimes, I IMAGINED kissing her, but c'mon. That doesn't mean I LIKE her. You know, in THAT way.
Sam smashed her lips against mine then and I almost fainted. This just couldn't be happening.
And that's when I saw him walking over to us.
Jay, tall, uh, handsome (that is so sick, me calling some guy the H word)? He's been watching out for Sam all week.
Yeah, I thought smugly. She'd rather be with me then you chum.
Sam was heaving as she released me, petrified at her insane act. I felt her tremble in my arms.
"You okay?" I smirked.
Sheesh. Even though Sam performed the 'liplock' on me, Jay still had the guts to walk over to us.
"Hello Samantha."
Gawd. Even his VOICE was annoying.
"'Sup Jay". She avoided eye contact.
Feeling sorry for Sam, I wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You know", I said casually. "We're kind of busy here."
That look Jay gave me made me shudder. It was like the creep in a black tee was analyzing me, seeing all my weak points, my frights.
Like I was inferior to him, and he KNEW it.
"Bah Humbug, y'all". Tipping an imaginary hat, Jay left us.
"Thanks", Sam smiled to me then, and suddenly, it was like this Christmas Eve night had brightened in my wake.
"Uh", I mumbled. Yeah, just great, Thom, I told myself. Sound like the jerk you are.
"Thom?" Sam looked at me worriedly.
I managed to find a way out of my awkward situation. "I certainly hope you have a GOOD excuse for kissing me."
Sam blushed before tugging my hand, leading us through Greyfield Park.
Passing sycamore trees left and right, I saw a lot of couples, around Sam and I.
I shook my head at the scene. Every girl who has a guy friend. People assume then, that they're, TOGETHER. That wasn't going to happen with Sam and I.
We were going to make mixed gender history.
"Snow", Sam muttered then, shivering.
I pulled her hand into my pocket. "You've been at the sherry again...Haven't you dear?" I said innocently.
We were in Arizona. So yeah, snowflakes were literally going to flutter down to desert ground, right?
"That's not what I meant", Sam scowled, but I could see her lips twitch. "It's just, wouldn't you like some cold Q-tips to dazzle and skim to the Earth for once?"
"Didn't you know?" I chuckled. "You are certainly NOT from planet Earth. You and me, space aliens from the far galaxies of galaxies."
"Galaxies of galaxies?"
"I'm not a poet like you", I said crossly then. "I can't just make stuff up about flying ear plugs."
Sam giggled, as we got lost in the chilled and damp pathways.
"Curfews at four a.m", I reminded her. "Don't make me stay up TOO early."
Sam never kept secrets from me. Which was how the 'surprises' started. She's been trying to freak me out for a decade. With feint punches, halloween masks.
For a fifteen year old, she still acts childish.
We made it to our destination at twilight. That 'destination' specifically, was, uh, dead end.
"Shoot", Sam grumbled. "I THOUGHT we were going the right way."
"This is what I get", I sighed to myself. "For following a dimwit."
Sam poked me on the arm. "I heard that."
"Ah, so you're not deaf then, either."
My best friend teased me. "God bless us everyone...Even you."
I reminisced about Tiny Tim's phrase in A Christmas Carol.
Come to think of it, I liked Sam's version better.
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Was that amusing enough?
2007-12-14 22:50:36 · answer #7 · answered by S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you'll be getting to many answers!
2007-12-14 22:04:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
no
2007-12-14 22:04:02 · answer #9 · answered by raybbies 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋