and hiding it from you
would you get a divorce?
2007-12-14 13:49:45 · 18 answers · asked by sarah w 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Gambling can be addictive. He needs help. Maybe try and sort out some counselling for him. At least try and help him before you get a divorce.
2007-12-14 13:52:25 · answer #1 · answered by missjones22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you open a new account in your name only, then you take his paycheck and deposit it there. You handle the money, you pay the bills, and you give him an allowance. He has to buy gas, eat out (during work), etc. from his allowance. IF it runs out before the next payday, tough ****. Don't budge and inch and don't give him a dime.
Second, get his butt into counseling. Long-term counseling that treats addiction (which is what heavy gambling is). He must be accountable to you and the counselor and must not miss appointments.
If he refuses either of these two things, yes, I would divorce him. Why? Well, if he refuses the two conditions, he's saying he's not ready to own up to it and change. Also, five or ten years from now when you divorce him anyway (if his gambling has not changed) you'll be financially ruined just like he is. That's the nature of addiction. The addict doesn't care who or what or how they hurt you as long as they get their fix.
2007-12-14 21:58:48 · answer #2 · answered by kyeri y 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't divorce him, at least not yet. Encourage him to PEACEFULLY discuss with you how and why he is gambling. Anything as addicting as gambling will be easy to hide and hard to stop immediately. Work out a way for him to (possibly slowly) work gambling out of his life. Maybe give him a new hobby or revive an old one that he loves to keep himself and his mind away from gambling. Don't call him an addict - he will mostly deny this and be angry. Most importantly - don't be too angry with him - know that things like these are not too uncommon in marriages, and let him know why you are unhappy without provoking him or making him angry and unwilling to listen to (or deal with) you.
Good luck - I hope everything works out okay.
2007-12-14 21:57:12 · answer #3 · answered by SK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Do you remember those (obviously meaningless) words you said at your wedding ceremony? Well, this is the "worse" part of the for better or .... bit that you repeated.
try to find help; call Gambler's Anonymous. Call Al anon,
there are many ways to get help; and if not for him, for yourself to help you hold your marriage together.
good luck. And keep the money for your living expenses, housing, food, children in a separate checking account to which he has no access
2007-12-14 21:53:04 · answer #4 · answered by Jean B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How about discussing the problem first, and possibly finding a solution to get beyond the problem?
Or is a divorce really the first thing you think of?
2007-12-14 21:52:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would start with counseling before a divorce. He needs help just like any other addict.....
good luck
2007-12-14 21:54:14 · answer #6 · answered by donna c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would call Gamblers Anonymous and have them direct me to the nearest meetings for families of gamblers.
2007-12-15 01:51:28 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before a divorce, i would confront him and try therapy. If that fails, then a divorce is for sure to come.
2007-12-14 21:53:10 · answer #8 · answered by ph100_0 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no... you can work through that kind of stuff. he's your husband. the vows don't just change because he was hiding something. i'm not saying forget it, i'm just saying it's not that big of a deal. hope i could help. marriage is important.
2007-12-14 21:53:18 · answer #9 · answered by randy m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would want to know why this addiction has replaced me, he needs help, could you not get in touch with an organisation sit down talk to him, and go with him for moral support
2007-12-14 21:53:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋