Should poly marriages be legal?

Question

Obviously such marriages pose big challenge to our legal and tax systems. But if there was a way to work around that why shouldn't consenting adults be able to get married in a polygynous and polyandrous relationships? Say there are two men and a woman and they all love each other and are content to play tag team for the rest of their lives, or there is a man that can make two women happy and they are all happily in love. If they want to validate their relationship in whatever way they seek, I think they should be able to do that as long as they are all consenting adults. What say you?

Karebear, I'll call it whatever I want.

Answer 1

If you have multiple marriage partners it would be a deeply tangled mess as far as the legal system, tax system, insurance companies, etc. goes...no way around that. Could you imagine a divorce proceeding involving children (custody issues) and division of property? If someone wants a polygamous relationship, fine...but why not a marriage service that does not involve the legal system/government? You don't have to be married to someone to enjoy spending your lives together. If a person involved in a polygamous marriage decided they wanted out (for whatever may be the reason), how many, do you think, would feel absolutely trapped? To untangle such a mess would be next to an impossible burden on the family, the courts, and society. I would think this might force people to stay married even in situations where a divorce is clearly wanted or needed. How many women might end up staying in abusive situations because they fear losing custody of the kids? What if the other wives decided to oust one of the others, ganging up on her in court and taking her kids away? After all, likely the other wives would have some say in the custody of any kids shared by the entire family. Sounds like a potential nightmare, to me.

Answer 2

I agree with what The Mrs. said in her answer. Leave the legal system out of it.

The problem with poly marriage is property rights. Which is one of the reasons why the marriages every entered into the legal system to begin with. If you are a man and have 3 wives and all 1 divorces you...then how are the assets divided? Does she get half or 1/4?
Parental custody would be another problem, especially when divorced people remarry into a poly marry and have children from the first marriage...

It boggles the mind to think of these issues.

Not to mention, insurance....I doubt there are many employers that want to pay benefits for your 5 spouses? Most employers these days will barely cover you.

Answer 3

In my opinion a married couple that is happy should not bring anybody that doesn't belong into their home to live. At least not any other adult except maybe a sick/elderly family member. That can even cause problems and that is a no choice situation sometimes. Even if you feel bad for someone like that lady, you are asking for disaster to eventually strike. Not a good idea. She could probably get help from state assistance with child care, food and even housing if she's in that bad of a financial situation. Asking her to give up her dignity (if putting out would be involved), just isn't right. You will do a lot of things to provide for your children but that's not even right to ask someone to do that.

Answer 4

the original reason for marriage was to legitimate offspring - doesn't work so well when a woman has more than one husband, one reason why polyandry has never been commonly practiced. One the reasons for polygyny was that men were dying like flies in wars etc (still common practice for a man to marry his brothers wife if his brother dies), and this is not an issue anymore.
I don't suppose polyandry will ever establish itself, but now in India and China they have such a shortage of females it would be an answer to a v. serious problem.
On a personal note I am opposed to marriage, so I would not consider it important, but I suppose the 'right' should be there, as it should be for same sex couples.

Answer 5

Yes. A polygamous society would actually be much better for women. If one wealthy, intelligent, attractive man had 5 wives, then those women could all benefit from his genes, to pass them on to their children. A huge chunk of the male population would be left lonely, but the human species as a whole would improve and evolution would be expedited. As it is now, nearly every man gets a wife, but in a polygamous society, wives would be mostly concentrated to the best men.

There would probably be a few situations where there would be one woman with multiple men, but the opposite scenario is more likely.

Answer 6

I don't think that the state should recognize any religious ceremony. So I don't think that any "marriage" should be "legal", (in a legally binding or sanctioned sense of the word). On the other hand Domestic agreements between any number of consenting adults should be legal, and as legally binding as they are written up to be.

Answer 7

I agree. If everyone involved is a consenting adult, I don't see the problem. They should be able to make that decision for themselves.

Edit to Mrs.: Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to keep them quiet. My state recently legalized same sex domestic partnerships, and the religious crowd is fighting it like mad.

Punk rock: I don't see how it opens the door for those situations. Those situations are quite illegal, and they still happen. People in non-polygamist cult situations also get forced into arranged marriages. I don't see why the law can't allow consenting adults to do as they please, and still protect minors from arranged marriages of any type.

Answer 8

since man was a hunter/gatherer that had just begun to walk upright and use tools marriage was a secular contract between consenting adults. Historically speaking poly marriages were the norm for longer than monogomy.

Answer 9

If a man wants to deal with twice the nagging, twice the expenses, half the spending money, half the closet space and half the peace and quiet, that's up to him.

I don't think it's worth twice the sex. I have a difficult enough time keeping ONE fiancee happy, but TWO? I'm not that stupid!

Answer 10

I see no reason why not, as long as it's an arrangement between consenting adults and doesn't involve marrying minors. Makes no sense to me, but if the sophisticated sister-wives are happy, fine.