Do I have a right to be angry with my partner?????

Question

Well last night after work my partner got asked to go to the pub with work for a few drinks and he did... The point is that i never get to go out anywhere as i am stuck at home with our 3 children.... If i go somewhere i have to take atleast 1 children with me.... As we have a 3 and 2 year old and a 8month old it is pretty stressful and i dont get a brake as we have no family or friends close by, i was angry with him for going to the pub, but he doesnt think i have a reason to be angry with him!!! does aneyebody think i should have been angry at him?????

Answer 1

Answer to your problem is grandparents, they are great for looking after our kids and we at least once a week get to go out [mostly together but sometimes its nice to have time away too].

Answer 2

He went out to the pub once? I don't think you should be angry with him. If he does it several times a week while neglecting you and the kids, then there's a good reason for you to be upset. If you are THAT stressed out and frustrated at being a mom - why in the heck did you have three kids to begin with? One would have been plenty enough! I can't imagine it was solely your partner's decision to have all these children. If you don't feel the division of parenting duties in your family is fair, bring it up with your partner and talk it over - don't just "get angry". This is something both of you need to be involved in resolving. Meanwhile, please make sure to use birth control, or you will end up with even more work on your hands.

Answer 3

Everybody needs time to chill with friends. Even you. Try asking him to stay and watch the kids while you have some time do what you want to do. Even if you don't have family around to watch your kids, get a babysitter. Having kids can be very stressful. If he spends 20-30 dollars drinking with his friends then you take 20-30 dollars and get a babysitter for a few hours. Raising children is the hardest job in the world and everybody needs a break. Maybe get a sitter and the 2 of you go out. Don't loose your relationship because you have children. If you get angry about this then its going to push him away and things can get out of control. Really all you want is time with your hubby and family and some "me time". Make a chart where each of you have time to do what just you want to do and then time you spend with the kids and then alone time with just the 2 of you.

Answer 4

Well....I understand you must be very stressed, since taking care of 3 kids is a lot of work.....but the fact is you are the mom...and they need you!

Try talking to your husband without yelling. Tell him how you feel and tell him you need some "me" time too. You are a person, a woman, and you need time off from being a mom all the time.

Don't say things like: "You are such an insensitive idiot!"

Instead, tell him something like: "Honey, I know you work hard and need a break occasionally...So do I ! Please help me and we'll all be happier!" Hopefully he will see the point and do something about it.
Consider having a relative baby sit once a week so you two can go out and have some couple-time.
Good luck.

Answer 5

Don't worry about whether or not you have a 'right' to be angry. You ARE angry. Everyone is entitled to their emotions. Tell him how frustrated you feel stuck at home with the kids. Maybe he doesn't realize that him going to the pub would make you so angry. Tell him you want to go out with him and set up a date night. Get a sitter.

Answer 6

well girl, if it's a once in a blue moon thing, like maybe for you once a month (some guys go once a week, but chicks with their kids this may not be good thing to go this often)...but otherwise, he probably still wants to break away sometime, which can be good, as long as he's still finding his bliss at home and not getting carried away going out too much.

It'd be nice if you hired a babysitter, even once a month, and took a romantic date night somewhere. Sometimes marriages get a little crazy when you foget the carefree dating times.

Answer 7

You should have time for yourself as well...Hire a babysitter if possible. I can understand why you are angry but you do EACH need time apart from eachother sometimes to let loose a little with friends. Hire a babysitter or have him take care of the kids & treat yourself to a pedi&mani maybe even a massage you will feel better!

Answer 8

did he call you before he made plans to go? he should understand that you need a break sometimes too. explain to him that you are in this together and that he needs to take a more active role in the relationship. also explain to him that just like he needs a break sometimes, you do also.
and if he does not take a child with him when he goes, then you should not have to either.
I was in a similar situation, prior to getting a divorce. my ex use to leave and go hang out with his friends all the time. so what i did was i started to wait until he got home and just leave him their with our 2 kids. i even use to get up on Saturdays and just go to walmart and walk around. sometimes you need a break from the daily chaos of having children.

Answer 9

are you kidding?? YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY! why should you have to sit at home 24/7 with the kids when he gets to go out? being a homemaker is an even harder job than a outside job!! definitely say something to him.. tell him its not fair and that you need a break too! he cant expect you to never have fun and relieve stress!!

Answer 10

You have every right to be upset..Taking care of three children is a labor of love. . I know you love your children very much but you need a break once in a while just by yourself. I feel he is being very unreasonable that you have to take at least one with you. I feel you both need to sit down and have a talk.....it will not hurt him to watch the children once in awhile....Best of luck to you.