Husband made a new friend??

Question

Ive been married less than a year. We moved to a new state, and he's made a friend with some girl from his work. They hang out and do lunch every week day, they do happy hour together, and now she's asked him to go into a business together and he accepted, when HE AND I were planning to start our own business. I've met her, at her housewarming party , she barely had two words to say to me. I dunno. I hate to feel so insecure, or even jealous. I haven't made any friends yet and I take lunch alone, all though I've asked if I could meet my husband for lunch but he blows me off, yet comes home with these marvelous stories of "guess where we went today for lunch?". I'm being totally gay, I think. But If I had a friend who was a guy, wouldn't HE be freaking out a little? What do I do??

Answer 1

If he hasnt had an affair yet, he will. Act accordingly.

Answer 2

You already know what to do... The problem is that it isn't easy.

Your marriage obviously has some issues. Sit your husband down. Have a brutally honest and open conversation. Tell him what your needs are, find out what his are. If you can't agree on somthing then agree to step back and do nothing.

Marriage is hard work. Obviously you guys got off track somewhere. Get back to work before you end up in a divorce.

If your husband doesn't want to work at the relationship, then you need to take a hard look at your life. Sounds like there are not kids yet, so that is a really good thing. OH P.S...don't think kids will fix this. They won't they only make things more difficult.

Good luck.

Answer 3

That's your husband and you have to trust him. Also remember that your newly weds. But I understand what your saying too! So talk to him about. Communication is a key and important factor in a relationship.So tell him how you feel, don't leave anything. But when you say it try not to go overboard or you know. See how he responds. Mention that you'd like for him to meet you sometimes too! Nothing is wrong with that! Also one more think he can have female friend and you can have male ones. Give him a chance though. If it comes down to it talk to the girl. You all are adults.

REMEMBER: That your his wife so you always have a say in something. So the business thing he should ask you if that was okay. I mean ya'll are married now! So I'd mention that too! Good luck!
If you don't mind send me an e-mail if you have any more questions. Also I'd like to hear how it goes if you don't mind.
Once again good luck!

Answer 4

Do not ask if you can meet your husband for lunch, just go there and have lunch with him. Then bring up the issue of why if he and you were going into business together did he accept to go into business with someone else? Do this in front of his new friend.
I would also talk to this new friend of his and tell her that if she thinks she is going to break up this marriage that she had better think again.
Then I would go and find the best divorce lawyer in the state and talk to him/her about what is going on.
Look what happened to Garth, he was just trying to be friendly and that little homewrecker took advantage of him and now he is married to her and she acts so innocent about it. The hussy.

Answer 5

I don't think I would like that too much either. It didn't raise a flag that he has a friend who's a woman...its the other stuff. He decided to go into business with her and it doesn't really sound like he consulted you much if at all. She is not interested in talking to you. When I have a guy who is a friend I love getting to know his significant other...that makes me think she is interested in him. Then he blows off you for lunch....I don't know sounds a little fishy. You should have and honest and rational conversation with him and let him know how you are really feeling. Maybe it is innocent on his part, but he doesn't realize how it is effecting you. Also, sounds like he needs to spend some more time with you...

Answer 6

How do you feel about lunch? (I'm only kidding.) Actually, I would expect he'd be none too happy if you did the same types of things. I believe your husband has forgotten (hopefully temporarily) who his real partner actually is, and has neglected to put himself in your shoes as an isolated person trying to cope with being new to the area. You should meet some new people as time permits because it's unhealthy for this isolation to continue for a protracted period of time. And of course, this act will probably get your husband's attention, as it should. That's fine. You both need to really talk, anyway. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

From what you are saying something doesnt add up. Seems that he may be having more than just a business agreement with this woman. Make a friend with a man perferably with a younger man (that always gets them going) and if he asks whats going on tell him the same thats going on with you and "the woman" see what he says. If he blows up then u got him its more than friendship but if he says "so you guys are just friends" say yes and then you'll know that his friendship with her is real. I know this sounds like a game but no man ever comes clean something tragic has to happen for them to do so. So go ahead make a guy friend and see what happens. Good luck.

Answer 8

Try talking to him first. If that don't work then get involved in some sort of community group. Volunteer for something. Start at the library, they will help you find the right place. There you will need to make some friends. (male and female) but talk about the males. Don't let him know wnything about the guy (or guys) just say their names.

As soon as you start to get a life of your own you will feel better. And he will feel left out of your life. That will straighten him out.

Answer 9

Honey, Tell this man that that needs to stop. I am sorry but he has no need to start a business or be going to happy hour with a women from work. Absolutly crossing the line.
Set up a happy hour with a male friend.. I am more than sure that will go over like a fart in church!

Answer 10

I agree with many of the answers you got already.
This is NOT good -and there are red flags all over the place!

If you love your husband, then keep your eyes and ears open.
I've never been the "follow -your- husband- to-see -if -he's -cheating" type; but I don't think you should ignore what is in front of you. ... This is not right and you know it!!!

He is your husband, and you should be his best friend.
He shouldn't be spending time with another woman.

Another woman is a potential mistress/lover; so get your act together and be ready in case he is already involved with her! I hope you don't have kids.
Sorry to hear about this.

Answer 11

You need to have a big talk with your husband about this. I think this is dangerous territory. I don't think he is having an affair, but there is a potential there for feelings to grow. I think him having a female friend is ok I just think the amount of time spent together is questionable. They need to invite you to lunch sometimes so you can get to know her and so you can see they are just friends and nothing more. He needs to know how his behaviour is making you feel insecure. No one wants to feel that way.

Good luck to you.