Women... why should men be faithful if?

Question

1. You use sex as a weapon to get what you want... why honor a weapon?

2. You ask use to have sex with just you but you aren't good at it and you don't care to be good at it.

3. Not only are you not good at it but you rarely have it?

Is it just that you need someone to sap emotions off of and pay your bills... is that why you get married? Because for most of you, you are sexually selfish and useless...

To those few out there that do care, do initiate and try like hell to please your man... I give you all the adoration in the world... you are a rare thing.

You assume I am talking about myself...

I am only referring to MOST of what I read on here and what I hear women say... they open up to me even when I don't want them too...

and to the one fellow who said i wasn't good. LOL - good one... We were swingers for years and I had a pretty good reputation for being skilled in bed...

My wife is not a good wife but not because of the reasons I stated here.

I raise the kids and clean the house and pretty much everything, so don't assume that she is SOOO tired from being a good wife...


A rapist mentality... LOL Dr. Phil coined the phrase 'sex as a weapon'... I am no more a rapist than he is just by using the phrase...

Sue... I applaud you!

You are the one type of woman I hoped would answer...

You women should hear how your men talk about you at work... how much they feel used and unappreciated... I am more angry on behalf of some very good friends who's wives are not good people.

My wife won't go to counseling... nor to the doctor... or to work...

I should add that I will never swing again... I prefer one woman... one love...

She cheated so we started swinging... dumb... I know. That's why I quit.

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Read 'TheAdvocetes' answer... she is the only real woman who answered...

If all women could be like her... such a wonderful world it would be...

Answer 1

Bro' like it or not you are bitter. Real sex is an expression of love, it is about the excitement of two people discovering each other, sharing each others bodies in a meaningful relationship, pleasing your partner is more important than pleasing yourself. It is not about 'performance' or quantity, it is about pure quality. At its core is two people who are not only willing but want to be faithful to each other through the good times and the bad

Answer 2

You are addressing a question to strangers on a public forum.

These are questions and a discussion you should be having with your wife.

If your wife was on here posting a question I could be nearly positive that she would say that she has to use whatever she can as a weapon because she cannot get any reaction from you otherwise.

If you think she is not good at it, you should both be going for counseling. Maybe it is not that she is not good, she may not want to participate in all the ways that you would like. You have reached an impasse and need help getting around it.

You are showing a lot of anger here, anger that is being thrown around to total strangers for no reason.

I have never used sex in my marriage to get anything I want, I do not have to. I also do not need my husband or anyone else to be responsible and pay my bills, I was an independent and self-supporting person before I was married, and have continued to be so.

Please give your family the gift of couples counseling for Christmas, and get back on the right track with your relationship and do not turn on the woman that you are supposed to love and care for more than all others in the world.

Answer 3

I guess I'm one of the rare ones? Although I know more women that like sex than don't. My husband and I are very sexually compatible. I enjoy sex just as much as he does. Sometimes I wish we did it more often, but life (and kids) has a way of getting in the way sometimes. To me sex is an expression of love, not a weapon. It is also a great stress reliever, and it just feels good. I have no idea why some women are the way you describe. I'm sorry if you have a wife like that....


edit:
I will add though, that it has been my observation that a lousy sex life is a symptom of other issues in the marriage, not really the main issue. Maybe if you can get to the bottom of the real problems, your sex life will be what you want it to be and more.

Answer 4

I hardly initiate because my husband jumps before I can lol. I do think that it is wrong to not give any sex to your husband however are the men doing things for the wife besides wanting to have sex with her. The more he does for her and shows appreciation the more she will want it. When you first meet a man they will go far and beyond to win her love and then once they do then poof it disapears. Also the guys tend to think that after they get married all they have to do is work and the wife still has to work, take care of the kids, and make dinner and clean the house as well. If men will do what they did before they got married with romance and all then they would get more sex from thier wife. It takes two to be in a happy marriage.

Answer 5

Good observation. And like most men, you have a more logical and rational approach. Women, by nature are less rational creatures ans will not be able to provide you an answer that makes much sense. Insteading of taking ownership of the situations and showing accountability for their actions, they are quick to point the finger back and men(blameshifting). They will try to turn it around on you with guilt trips and things like men being less romantic, drinking beer, watching football on TV, and other similar things. Even with the most consideration for this being a rational answer, look at the implications. 1) Romance: they had sex with you because you spent money on them and did things for them. Sex is a commodity to them. 2) Hobbies: they had sex with you because you dedicated more time to them rather than your own personal interests (beer, sports, etc.). Again, sex is a commodity. It is a form of currency or a bartering tool. It is something used to reward good behavior and punish bad behavior. Their sexual desires fluctuate based on the current balance of how much you have invested in the emotional account.

And for men, sex is something completely different. The desire for sex is not so much dictated by how a woman acts, what she does, how much she cares, etc. The desire for sex is a two part deal. 1) Men have a natural desire to have sex and will seek out sex to relieve the urge, for the release. 2) Men become aroused by a woman's body. Men are very visual creatures. Just seeing a woman's body can be enough to start up the desire for sex.

Of course there are some men on the other side, just as there are women who seem more like men in this sense. But to answer your question, generally speaking, this is how most men and women are.

Answer 6

I agree that some women use sex as a tool to get what they want or to punish but not all women. I think that women have to feel good about themselves, feel loved, respected and safe in order to have sex. Sex is so much more to women that just sex and has a very emotional meaning to us. If the two of you are fighting, she isn't happy etc.., she wouldn't even consider having sex with you.
As far as not being good at sex, no one knows how to be "good," at sex initially. We all learn. Women especially have been told since childhood that a woman who is forward sexually or aggressive is a whore. So women fear being aggressive, saying what they want or need and often have difficulty asking you what you want. You can help her by showing her and telling her what you want and need and being patient.

Answer 7

Wow, you are very bitter. I am sorry your wife is a b****, but to state that all of us are useless in bed, all of us rarely have sex and all of us use sex as a weapon, you need to sleep with all of us, and I for one KNOW for a fact that I have not slept with you, so your arguments don't work over here. If you insist on generalizing so grossly, you'll end up being gay, so careful there. Although maybe that's what you should do, become gay and be happy doing it with people who are good enough. After all, why be unfaithful with another woman if she's gonna be useless as well?

Answer 8

You sound like you're divorced or have just recently been seriously hurt by your woman. None of that happens if you're with the right person. Get a grip and don't be so sinicle. I have sex with my husband daily and the most important thing is I treat him the way he treats me.

Answer 9

Perhaps its not that you are bad in bed that would make a woman want to treat you like that, but how you treat her out of it.
You can't expect to ignore her all day, do your own thing, and then expect her to be hot and ready, just because you are now horny and ready to spend some time doing her.
Most men just don't get that. We need to feel loved, appreciated, important to the one, to feel sexy at night.
Perhaps she's no good at it, because she's doing it for you, and not the fact she feels like it?
So perhaps you should look to your own lacks?

Answer 10

I always give to my husband, because even if I am not in the mood, I know that his needs are important. It is important for me to honor and cherish him and recognize his needs as not only important but worthy of being met. HIS needs are just as important as mine. I think that we should (as husbands and wives) strive to meet each others needs...not WHEN they meet ours, but even if they don't meet ours. Then sex becomes the beautiful act that it was meant to be
HOWEVER, I do think that being unfaithful is not an answer at all.