I still love my ex a lot!! I know that we were meant for each other. We had to break up becuase of religion. I am now married to a good man but I know I'm not in love with him. I have tried and tried to keep the marriage bond because i made a promise to God to stay with him forever. I believe that God hates a divorcing and I know its a huge sin. I have done a lot of research believe me everything. I thought he would be a good husband for me and I thought that sometimes love isn't everything,....but I can't take it anymore. I cannot make myself make love with him again!! It just makes me sick to my stomach becuase I know he doesn't have my heart. I have gone into severe depression trying to cope with all this. I have kept in contact with my ex as friends through the whole 3yrs I have been married. There are no children involved thank God!! He is single and wants to be together again. I have been thinking about moving to where he lives and separate from my husband what should I do?
2007-12-14 08:56:58 · 18 answers · asked by l2d 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It appears that you believe in God and do not want to sin against h this marriage by getting a divorce. However on that note do you not think our god wouldn't want you to be happy and well depression free. i think you have answered your own question here if your heart is with someone else then maybe it is time to let this guy go. You have lived miserable long enough I do not believe in divorce either but you must have love in a relationship especially a marriage and if you do not have that then whats the use of staying together.
Thank God you did not have kids with this guy one huge hurtle overcome. Leave find your soul mate file for divorce and live happy life is to short to be unhappy and depressed.
2007-12-14 09:34:27 · answer #1 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there and SO done that. Think very carefully - is this ex REALLY that great? Or are you just in love with the idea of him? Are you missing certain things about him, and have you given your husband a chance to try and fulfill those things for you? Are you ignoring all the bad things from the past relationship? Why is he your ex, after all? My advice is to stop talking to the ex, and deal with your husband before you do anything else, one way or the other. It's rarely a good thing to leave one guy for another... the grass isn't greener on the other side, as they say.
And get some counseling. I don't say that because you sound "sick" or anything, so please don't take that the wrong way. But, having been through a similar situation myself, I can tell you that a good counselor is a godsend. He or she can help you find the tools to deal with reality.
I also recommend you figure out how to fill your OWN heart, and stop giving it away. No human is perfect, that's a fairy tale. Also, DON'T have kids until you get this straightened out!!! Stop having sex, for goodness sake, if it's making you sick, and the LAST thing you need to do is bring an innocent child into this situation. Good luck!
2007-12-14 09:13:40 · answer #2 · answered by Torchbug 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I saw the picture and it was a beautiful love story...
But you are talking about real life here.
I'd say go to therapy or counseling ASAP!
If you have been agonizing over this and it has made you feel so bad and depressed, the sooner you get help, the better!
You sound like a nice woman, and from what you wrote I also think you have a huge emotional struggle. Please consider asking a therapist for tips and try to learn how to deal with your issues effectively.( I'm sure your husband can see you are miserable, and perhaps he feels sad -and maybe even guilty too.)
Please remember that you are responsible for your own life, and for your own well-being and happiness. Happiness is a choice- and we have to work hard at getting it because life is short. Consider all the options you have and try to choose the one that is best for you- and try to hurt others along the way the least.
Good luck....Ask for help before you run away to your ex.
2007-12-14 09:07:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are very selfish. Think of all the people you will be letting down and hurting for your decision. You owe it to your husband to try to make the marriage work. Do you realize that if you divorce and go with your ex that is likely won't work out? Think about it. You only want what you want and don't care for the feelings of anyone else.
2007-12-14 09:00:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Leave him,please.If you don't you'll wake up 5 or 10 years from now and think ...**** what have I done? And you'll regret it but there will be nothing you can do.But now at this time there is something you can do.Leave.Its not fair on your husband either.You know what to do,you've just got to have the courage to do it.I hope you find it.Good luck.x
2007-12-14 09:05:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, God loves us all and wants us to be happy, but He also wants us to make right decisions and live a life of integrity.
We're often unhappy because we've strayed from His guidance. Sometimes it's not easy to live with the consequences of our actions, but that's the price we pay for not doing things His way from the outset.
Yes, God loves us and will forgive us, but that doesn't give us license to take selfish liberties with his love and forgiveness. Growing more Christlike requires us to stop thinking of ourselves first and looking for the path of least resistance.
Do the honorable thing in God's eyes even though it's difficult and requires you to deny yourself. He will honor that while the world says, "Do whatever makes you happy!" I get tired of people who try to rationalize their selfish desires and assume God will look the other way when they choose not to live their lives as He would want them to. God has standards, and we should do our level best to uphold them.
You're a married woman. Keep your promise to God and to your husband, and stop contacting the guy by whom you're tempted. That's not helping you be the kind of faithful wife you should be.
2007-12-14 09:02:34 · answer #6 · answered by DJ 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I will second the grow up statement. Do you honestly think your "ex" will be prince charming, and you get to live happily ever after? Your "ex" and yourself poisoned your current marriage.
2007-12-14 09:18:14 · answer #7 · answered by x2000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just a movie, but go ahead and divorce. Why suffer if you only live once? Who knows how much time you have left on earth, and if God is truly a good god, he wouldn't want you to be unhappy.
2007-12-14 09:01:24 · answer #8 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
So God wants you to be miserable for the rest of your life? to the point where you are sick and depressed???
Some God you got there,
I just don't get it, I imagine that God would want you to be happy and enjoy your life and i imagine that God knows that people make mistakes
2007-12-14 09:01:49 · answer #9 · answered by ~NIKKI~ 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
follow your heart or you wont be happy if you stay with the guy youmarried you will just be pretending i dont think your husband would want you to do that i know if i thought my hunny loved someone else i wouldnt want him to just stay pretending he loved me
2007-12-14 09:03:17 · answer #10 · answered by babyluv8189 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋