Will you please write the most random/funny thing you can think of?

Question

can be a word or a novel, just amuse me. I am struggling through these last hours at work and I am never disappointed in the humor out there.

Answer 1

poop

Answer 2

> A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10
> husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be
> gentle; I'm still a virgin".
>
> "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married
> ten times.?"
>
> "Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how
> great it was going to be.
>
> "Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it
> was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with
> me.
>
> "Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked
> out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
>
> "Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order,
> he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
>
> "Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he
> wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of
> the-art method.
>
> "Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he
> wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
>
> "Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never
> sure how to position it.
>
> "Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
>
> "Husband # 9 was a Gynaecologist; all he did was look at it.
>
> "Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........ God I
> miss him.
>
> " But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
>
> "Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?
>
> "You're with the "GOVERNMENT ...
> This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SC R E W E D."

Answer 3

Well, my fantastmogorical friend, I shall be my best to do as the almost great, yet will always ne known as 'the fat one' Robbie Williams once said, and please, allow me to entertain you.

Now, from what I have gathered from the local support of my bewildering, yet entrancing speeches, the best way to fully appreciate what I am saying is to be drunk. That is, unless you are a glass of water, in which case you should avoid being drunk at all costs. It will most likely leave you feeling dehydrated and drunk.

Anyhow and anyway, you say you're at work. Play a little game with your colleagues - preferably one which leaves them feeling perplexed and confused, such as talking of thoughts which are both nonsensical yet have lovely sounding consonants to them. As for such a game, I struggle to think of one for you, but a favourite of mine is to simply qwaddle add random words to sentences, and see flumplet who notices. You see there?

I must be off now, I did promise my friend I would update my website, which, although it shall probably only serve to confuddle, and confuzzle you more, is called Owned by Kwasnik.

So, farewell and toodle-pip, my funnily-challenged pal, and have a nice evening.

Answer 4

Hot Dog vs. Bologna Stick

What's the difference!?

Answer 5

orange shovel flavored peanuts are approximately to devour out the returned of my canine airplane... chuck norris is roundhousing a turky right into a revolving door inflicting it to slam. mutually as horses rule the earth in thier blanana costumes of anal dying

Answer 6

Happy Birthday to me
I live in a tree
I look like a monkey
When I fling my own pee.

Answer 7

if at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
People don't expect much from me, and I never disappoint.
If wishes were fishes, the world would demand chicken.

Answer 8

When I was little, my mom tickled me so hard I belched the name "Andy".

Answer 9

your lucha libre mask.

was that funny?

Answer 10

PI!!! EEEK!!!! RUNAWAY! [broke my leg b/c of pi and now its got me again]

Answer 11

i am totally flabbergasted...