My Grandmother is on her death bed. I don't have the money to travel the 1500 miles to her funeral. My family thinks I should go into debt.
What do you think?
2007-12-14 08:53:40 · 12 answers · asked by It's the hair 5 in Business & Finance ➔ Personal Finance
How would g'ma feel of you going into debt? She most likley be against it and would understand. Especially if g'ma survived the depression era.
It is different if you have the financial means. Then it is expected to pay proper respects for the lost of close family or friends.
Celebration of memory and of the person's life is the best way. Submit ahead of time to g'ma a VHS or DVD recording of yourself letting g'ma know how much you loved her while she is still living. Expend the cost to record it and to overnight it. Even if she can't see, they say hearing is the last sense to go. It is better to say all the things you want to say while the person is still alive and not say them and live in regret after they have died.
Your family may still give you some grief, but they will have to eventually come to terms with it. At least the video may be a compromise. Also, if they are very insistent on you being there, then tell them how much money you have to comfortably afford and see if the family will take up a collection to pay the balance of your expenses. Otherwise, if they are "unwilling to go into debt" to help you get there, then they shouldn't insist on you going into debt
Good luck and much prayers for the eventual loss of your grandmother.
2007-12-14 09:27:06 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Spicy Song Yung 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If the family can afford to pass the hat and get you some cheap tickets, go for it. Consider the train/bus if they are an option. [super cheap tix can be had at skybus and megabus, among others]
Debt for a funeral is just silly if you step back and look at it objectively.
On the other hand, depleting an emergency fund to fly to a funeral would be something to consider.
2007-12-14 09:10:52 · answer #2 · answered by Jaclyn&Dave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't go into debt to go to a funeral. I'm sure that Grandma wouldn't want you to do that. Just tell your family that you love Grandma but you just can't make it to the funeral unless they want to pay your way because you're not going into debt and take maybe years to get out of it.
2007-12-14 09:06:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your family thinks it that important for you to be present, they can cough up the money to get you there. Rest assured that GRANDMA won't know if you're there or not. Were I you, I would spend some money on a very nice floral arrangement expressing your most sincere sympathies to all involved.
It's the thoughts and sentiments which count, and not your personal presence.
2007-12-14 10:13:45 · answer #4 · answered by acermill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should attend the funeral. If you check with your local Salvation Army, they might be able to help with a bus ticket. You should at least try to finance 1/2 of the trip. Debts can be paid, but guilt and remorse are harder to get rid of. And hurting family members struggling to forgive you, the wounds you may cause are not worth it. God can help you pay your debt.
Sometimes we put ourselves into debt to have something our "flesh" wants...without thinking twice.
Your family might surprise you and bless you with some $ when you go.
2007-12-14 09:06:27 · answer #5 · answered by snowcrablegs 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes, go. You can get bereavement fares on some airlines. Don't know if amtrak or the bus does it. Start checking fares now. It's a family thing and you will never be sorry you went.
2007-12-14 11:22:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I seriously doubt that your grandmother would want you to go into debt to attend her funeral. I would stay home and have a private ceremony for yourself to pay your respects and maybe get a little closure.
2007-12-14 09:03:31 · answer #7 · answered by Janiepoo 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No.
Funerals are for the living in any case.
Do CALL your Grandmother and let her know you love her. See if there is anything you can do for her now.
Once she's dead, she'll know EVERYTHING and the only ones judging you will be the ones still alive. They need to deal with their own issues.
2007-12-14 09:05:36 · answer #8 · answered by heyteach 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Airline and bus companies still have "bereavement" prices for tickets. If you still can't afford the ticket, sell some stuff at a pawn shop.
2007-12-14 09:12:08 · answer #9 · answered by Debt Slayer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a decision that goes beyond strictly financial considerations. You have to decide.
2007-12-14 09:31:26 · answer #10 · answered by npk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋