Is giving your man a lie detector test going too far?

Question

My bf and I have had a certain issue for a long time. I cant seem to forget about it and move on. I feel a lie detector test will settle it and then I can finally drop it. My redundant questions get on his nerves and I am afraid if I keep asking I will lose him.

Is giving him a polygraph test taking it too far? I think he may agree to do it just so we can finally drop this issue.

What do you think?

I had suspicions that more was going on with his ex gf than he said. I felt that if I give him a test then I can finally believe he didnt do anythingwith her.

Thank you for the honest answers. I guess I will have to learn to get over it and trust him. A lie detector test would be going to far.

Answer 1

I think that is going too far. You need to try and stop obsessing about it. You have to either trust him or not. It sounds like you don't trust him and that is huge in any relationship. If he has given you reason in the past not to trust him then it might be slightly understandable but basically you need to decide if your relationship it worth it or not. Your lack of trust will either make him back away from the relationship or just go do whatever it is you are accusing him of b/c if he is already getting in trouble for it then why not just do it. You also need to ask yourself, if the outcome was different that what you know it to be know, how would that change your relationship? Do you REALLY want to know or is your mind just obsessing. You don't need a lie detector test, you need to take control of your emotions and choose to trust him. You may get the answers you want or don't want this time but later down the road would you obsess until he took another test about a different situation?

Answer 2

If your boyfriend has given you enough reasons to have some doubts and it is causing hardship in the relationship, then to me, a lie dictator test is not going too far. Remember, some men know that their girlfriends would feel as if they are going too far and count on this. Just know, most relationships carry a little doubts about situations, no one is ever without doubt. I told my husband when him and I were dating that nothing to me would be going to far if he gave me cause for not trusting him. So to save the relationship, if he is telling you the truth, think of the peace and harmony it will cause once he does take a lie detector test and passes? Now of course, you run the risk of him not passing. Also, you might want to check into just how accurate these tests really are. Some men even after failing this test they still hold on to the lie. Weigh the pros and cons and make your decision. As I have said, if it will save the relationship, then nothing is going too far as long as you do not break the law and cause a total disrespect for your parthner. Best of luck!

Answer 3

Yes, honey, I think it's too much. Even if I was telling the truth on something, I'd refuse it. I would't feel the need to prove myself to anyone. If someone didn't trust me, then fine. Move on without me. And you'd probably find some other reason to doubt the lie detector too anyhow...such as he must be a really good liar, or he can control his anxiety therefore throwing off the machine. The trust is either there or it isn't.

Answer 4

I think it is going too far, because what will happen the next time you suspect something. Next thing you know your whole marriage is based on how a needle flips instead of love and trust. Besides, lie detector tests aren't 100% accurate so when you find that out will you really trust the results anyway?

Answer 5

Lie detectors have been beat many times by vicious criminals, as they are often sociopaths. Lie detectors are also not admissable in court due to their inaccuracy. What if he passed? In family court he might be able to use that against your case, even if it can't be brought up in criminal court. It sounds like you have plenty of real evidence, I wouldn't count on a polygraph. Good luck with your case and stay safe.

Answer 6

I would take the test and then I would never speak to you again.

When I say 'never', I mean not one damn syllable for the rest of your life.

You had better have some pretty d*** good evidence to even talk like this... and if you did, you should just leave anyway.

It's a proven fact that most people with trust issues are the LEAST trustworthy... if I were him, I would wonder what it was that you did that makes you so untrusting...

Actually, I would already have left you in the dust and been dating a sane person.

Answer 7

If u don't trust him leave him. your boyfriend must of gave u a reason to think that he have cheated on u. Some thing u know from your heart. Yes getting him to take lie detector test is going to far. If he have to do that to get u to believ,e then u must already know he is lying to u. Don't expect him to just tell u that he cheated.

Answer 8

I am afraid that you will lose some feelings. A lie detector test is going to far! I worked with a lady that made her husband take a drug test. She said she regretted insisting on the test that came up negative. You will be treating him like a criminal!

Answer 9

Yeah, it is taking it too far. If you dont trust your partner, you need to just leave and move on.

Besides, polygraphs arent always accurate. If he has any emotion at all about the question, it will show up as a lie. Not to mention people who have been trained in how they work can fool the machine.

Yeah, youve gone too far.

Answer 10

If you really believe a polygraph is reliable, then you haven't done enough reading on them. There's a reason that they're not admissible as evidence in a court of law.

On the other hand, if you have so little trust in your relationship that you would even CONSIDER needing to have a polygraph in order to believe him, why the hell are you still with him? Or better yet - why the hell is he still with you??