in need of advice?

Question

my son is two months old now, and has gone from eating 4 ounces every three hours to barely struggling through 2 sometimes 3 ounces every three hours, he only wants to eat 2 ounces but i coax him into eating a half to one more ounce usually.
my mother says to stop, just let him eat what he wants when he wants, but he has a serious cleft, his first sergury is next month (at three months old) and if he is not a healthy weight they will cancel the sergury.
he has several doctors and i am getting conflicting advice from them, the craniofacial doctor insist that he must eat 4 ounces every three hours to stay healthy
the regular doctor says he is perfectly healthy and if he only wants to eat two ounces i should try feeding him more often, i've done that much he'll have none of it, he just screams if i try to feed him before he wants to he, he wants to eat two ounces every three hours..
I am beside myself, i don't want him to miss this sergury, we've worked really hard for this..

gypsy, i am not abusive to my son, he's gone through alot and we love him very much, please take your ignorance elsewhere, there is a huge difference between coaxing a child into eating an ounce and forcing it down his throat.. thanks

i pump and feed, he hates formula

Answer 1

I have a daughter with a cleft lip and palate, trust me, feeding them is a chore..Between not being able to suck, reflux, colic, gas, it's hard..A lot of doctors use the 10 lbs rule...If they aren't 10 lbs. no surgery..If you try to feed your son the 4 ounces and it takes longer than 30 minutes, he's burning more calories than he's geting..With the extra air our kids get, they seem to take smaller amounts more often..Kids let you know when they're hungry, and when they've had enough..Take your ques from him..It's hard feeding them every 2 hours and I know it gets draining, but you'll find a lot of parents that have cleft affected kiddos feed less and more often...Good luck to you!

Answer 2

I can understand your worries, although we never had a problem like yours. What I mean is that my first daugther was a bad eater although she didn't have a cleft palate. She would never finish her bottles and never eat the prescribed amount of formula for her age. She was satisfied to play and sleep and would fall asleep after the first 2 oz. and I could do nothing to wake her up and make her finish that bottle. The result was that she started losing weight and by 8 months she was really skinny. She was otherwise okay, even ahead in her development, but it was pain to watch her that way. Of course, we were not under pressure to make her gain weight by all means so it was somewhat easier on me. She is now 4 years old and still a picky eater, although right now she is growing well and looks pretty good for her age. My mother made her eat more during the first month by stopping for 15 minutes before offering the bottle again. Most of the tme it worked so it will do no harm to try that. You can also try to feed every 4 hours and see if he gets hungrier. Or maybe it is too hard for him to eat those 4 oz., although I am sure you are using a special nipple. You might want to try to give him the bottle and let him eat as much as he wants and then continue with a spoon. I know it might take a longer time but if it is easier for him, he might want to eat some more. Four oz. is a normal amount for his age. My second daugther turned 2 months on Dec. 6th and 4 oz. is exactly the limit of her stomach. Of course, sometimes she would drink less and sometimes we will just feed her at longer stretches, like every 4 hours. Sometime we have to skip a feeding because she is sleeping and she would get only 5 feedings in a day and I would breastfeed some additionally but she still grows very well. So after the negative experience with my first daugther, I can say i am blessed that my second has such a healthy appetite.

Answer 3

At 2 months, my boy slowed down on his eating for a couple weeks. They seem to have a resting period for growth and don't need the extra calories. Let baby eat what baby wants to eat as they do not over eat and rarely under eat. As long as he is not losing weight, he'll hit another growth spurt in a couple weeks and go back to eating the 4 oz or more. My guy is 4 months old and will only eat 4 oz every 3 hours and he's almost 15lbs and tall for his age. Don't fret over it unless he starts losing weight.

If he starts losing weight then you need to up the calories he is getting, not the amount. You do this by introducing rice cereal either by spoon or in the bottle. I did this by bottle (and yes people will slam you about choking hazards, introducing solids too early, lazy eating etc...rubbish IMO) I had to do this at 6 weeks because my guy was not getting enough calories and did lose a half a pound. He loved his 2 rice cereal bottles a day and the weight gain came back. He is not fat, still actually on the skinny side and I have started him on solids early because he needs the calories. He's very active.

For the next week or so, just let him eat what he wants when he wants. If he starts to lose weight then talk to your ped about how to increase his calories. Ignore the other doc, he deals with cleft palates, not how much babies are supposed to eat.

Answer 4

My son kinda did that for a while...just encourage him to eat little and often and be sure to praise him when he does... my baby boy lost a little weight, but is now three months and a healthy 13 lbs and still just eats a what he wants and when he wants...and gypsy is just one of the people who are very ignorant... you are not abusing your son in any way...my husband even got a little upset and very sad when he wouldnt eat..its a parents nature to feed their child

Answer 5

If your pediatrician is not concerned, your baby is probably fine. Especially, if your baby is gaining weight and not losing it. My 7 week old eats really well (~ 4 oz. every 3 hours), but he also spits up quite a bit at every feeding. So, I guess each circumstance is different. If you are feeding your baby formula, maybe you should try other types. Or, maybe you should try a different type of bottle nipple. Best of luck!

Answer 6

my 9 week old son does that some days he will eat like its going out of fashion and others he doesn't seem very fussed on the idea of it. i asked my doctor and he said not to worry because just like us they have days that they are just not as hungry as they were the day before. i also find the if he is tired he wont want to eat much at all, so i just let him go. hope the surgery goes well for him. good luck

Answer 7

so many people on here are 1 baby experts. look mabey you need to give him a few minutes, like 15 or so and try and feed him the rest. my daughter sometimes needs to stop and burp or just let her stomach rest for a minute or two then she finishes her bottles. dont let anyone tell you that youre force feeding a baby or whatever, just do what you need to do to take care of him! hang in there

Answer 8

just let him eat what he wants... as long as he is not losing weight then he should be ok. My neice is the same way. She is 9 months old and only weights 7lbs more then my 3 month old little girl. he will only eat when he is ready so just keep in touch with the dr and go for checkups very regularly!

Answer 9

Don't force feed your baby.
I didn't follow any of my dr's advice on feeding. My baby let me know when she was hungry, and when she was full. They kept telling me to feed her, and all she did was throw up, so I finally stopped. I had much better feedings after that. It wasn't so stressful.
Not all babies are textbook cases, nor are they all the same, and I think it's wrong that doctors lump them all together. You know your baby best. Follow your instincts.

Answer 10

What are you feeding him. I have advice if you are pumping. You can "fortify" your milk by refrigerating it, skimming the fat off the top and adding it to the next bottle. This will give him more fat and help with weight gain.