am i a horrible person?please read!!?

Question

I had been "goin out" with this guy in 2 of my classes for maybe a month or more. We only talked on the phone, and never at school.Lately i was thinking about how stupid it is to have a relationship like that. one of my friends( not really friends, like i know her) was going out with this other guy named kyle, and he called her, talked to her on the phone, at school, sat by her at lunch held her hand, and all that stuff, the perfect boyfriend! it made me think....so over the week i lost interest in jacob(the first guy), and gained more intrest in this other guy kyle( my "friend" and him broke up, and he was in all of my classes). Then last night, i told myself, "end it with jacob, take a chance with kyle". so i did. but the stupid thing is, i asked my bff to do it for me!!! then i found out, that from kyle's friend " NO WAY!Why would you thing Kyle would like YOU?!!??!!". i still don't beleave his friend, but i feel bad about jacob. i don't want to start it again, but what do i do?

Answer 1

First of all, you are not a horrible person....you have to take risks in everything you do. First of all, don't listen to your friend, go to Kyle personally and ask him....One lesson in dating you need to know is always go to the guy you want to ask out...don't go through friends. Secondly, keep talking to Jacob...just start talking about what you would like in a boyfriend. The reason we have boyfriends is so that we can share our thoughts & feelings. So tell him what you want. Good Luck

Answer 2

Nothing. You're not a horrible person because you're young and young people are supposed to be somewhat shallow, indecisive and greedy until they learn better (and you certainly more than qualify). Well, pay attention because class is in session. Life is trying to teach you that the grass is not always greener in the other person's yard, though it will often look like it from a distance. You described "Kyle" as the perfect boyfriend while you observed him with your friend because he sat next to her, called her on the phone, and held her hand...(who knew perfection was so easily attained, huh?), but did you ever ask yourself why, if he's so wonderful, did they break up in near-record time? Life would also like to suggest to you that when you decide to do something (even if it's the wrong thing to do) do it yourself; don't solicit the help of friends to act as go-betweens when it comes to relationship matters...they will do you in everytime. Right now you're at a stage when kids try on new BFs/GFs like trying on new pairs of shoes. It's goofy behavior, but completely age-appropriate for now until you learn what you're really about. But at some point in time you have to learn to keep your "wants" under control, and to some extent being happy with what you have. Because look what's happened: You dropped Jacob to be with Kyle, but now you have neither Jacob nor Kyle..."A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." You've probably heard that before, but now it should make sense to you.
Work on yourself BY yourself for a little while, so the next time you have a boyfriend you can give the relationship the chance it deserves...it's probably a bit early for all of that now, anyway. Good luck to you, and Happy Holidays.

Answer 3

I know this is how it works in school, but I feel it's unbearably rude to break up with someone by way of bf, or letter, or phone. The only (I know it's hard) acceptable way is in person.

How you feel about jacob should have nothing to do about how you feel about kyle. If you wanted the hand-holding, lunch date, etc., you should have asked jacob if that was a possibility. Change the relationship, don't change partners.

You owe Jacob a heartfelt apology.


TX Mom

Answer 4

yea you messed up. That was pretty stupid, ditching a guy just because the other looked like a good bf. You don't even know what hes like. You shouldn't try to get back with Jacob, because what if you bail out on him again? I'm sure if he knew he wouldn't ever take you back.

Answer 5

well either way... if you get eith the new guy or not you shouldn't be with someone that will only talk to you on the phone and not at school. If you are gonna date someone then they should be able to be seen with you and not act like they don't know you. As for the other guy Kyle. You need to go talk to him yourself. Guys like a girl that can speak for herself and not send friends to do it for her

Answer 6

Well i am sure after reading your question that you are a very nice person and that you are not getting the attention you deserve so let Jacob go i am sure there is somebody out there only to willing to be with you and give you what you desire and truly deserve

Answer 7

well u screwed up and dont worrie i have done that more times than you can count all i know to tell u to do is ask him if he will forgive you that you made a very stupid mistake and you want him back... if he says yes take it slow maybe he shy he will just have to warm up to you a little. maybe the other guy was one of the "popular" person and he has went out with all the girls in the school but if he is a sinsitive person than take it slow and if he really likes you then he will warm up

Answer 8

do you really want to go back into a relationship like you had with jacob? i would stick with your decision about kyle and ask him yourself. or if you're too scared, then you can start calling him, and just try to be really good friends and when you have the confidence, ask him if he likes you.

Answer 9

Communicating through other people - even friends - is a big mistake. I never did that, even with g/f's at 11 y/o. Try direct communication for a change. And for the love of g** would you stop texting everything to each other?

Answer 10

Hunny, Jacob is a friend nothing more, but why go after someone else, your are jealous find your own guy Hunny, hes out there.