This is mainly a follow-up question to the one below. Do you think there's a difference in reaction between men and women when their spouses cheat? Who do you think fears cheating more? men or women?
Personally, I don't see it as a gender thing. I think most people would be pissed if their partner cheated on them.
2007-12-14 08:22:05 · 15 answers · asked by smoofus70 6 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Speaking in generalities, I see more men claiming they wouldn't care and claiming to be less jealous, but I also know more men murder their spouses over it. I also see more women claiming they'd never accept it and voicing jealousy, but I also know of more women who've forgiven it.
Speaking for myself (and from experience), I'd be very hurt, I'd certainly care, and I would feel jealous and insecure, but it's also in my character to either assume responsibility for whatever my failings were that led her to seek attention elsewhere or to end it on the assumption that obviously she wasn't content with me, rather than to focus on blaming her.
2007-12-14 08:34:24 · answer #1 · answered by Gnu Diddy! 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I could write a book. Long married people could say this. I was with one man for 40 years, and married to him for nearly 38 years. I was an Air Force wife. The men or women are away from their families for from 3 months to as much as 2 years at a time. The sense of abandonment and loneliness is greater when you do not live in your home town or around other family. Quite a lot of the people on tdys or remote pcs' cheat. Spouses worry. Stay at home spouses cheat. It just doesn't make for a normal course of a marriage. Both partners are at risk for cheating. Like any other thing, call it a transgression, if you can keep from falling into the behavior at the first opportunity, it gets easier to resist the urge subsequent times. If you fall once and you are needy, there's a good chance you've begun a habit.
Cheating is wrong. But people are fallible. The wronged spouse is always hurt.
C. :)!!
2007-12-14 09:52:15 · answer #2 · answered by Charlie Kicksass 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have to agree with you. Man or woman, you are going to be very angry with your partner. It's going to hurt no matter who is doing the cheating.
I'm not sure who fears cheating more. I think it has more to do with individual personality traits. Some people are more jealous, possessive or needy than others and would see truly innocent chit-chat with a member of the opposite sex as a cause for concern. If you're a person that has been cheated on in the past (especially if you're still with that person) you're going to be suspicious over things you might have otherwise dismissed as innocent.
2007-12-14 08:53:43 · answer #3 · answered by *A Few Quarts Low* 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I do not have to think about it, as the evidence is quite clear. Men are more bothered by another man having sex with their mate and women are more bothered by the possibility of withheld relationship/resources. This research is nothing new and has been piling up for over thirty years. It does not matter what you " see " it as, for the evidence is clear for a sexual variation in this area also.
There is no information on who fears cheating more that I know of, but the high rate of spousal murder with men as the perpetrators is highly indicative of who is most fearful.
2007-12-14 11:42:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think women are primarily more emotionally responsive to the situation, most of us do the crying thing, men well, i cant speak for men, and i think as far as the fear thing, I think that a fear of your significant other cheating is more of a security issue than anything else, if you were secure in your relationship then you wouldnt have to worry about it....
2007-12-14 08:26:47 · answer #5 · answered by leelee 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you. Different people will react differently for a whole lot of very complex reasons - none of which have to do with gender but perhaps DO have something to do with culture.
In France and Italy is (was/is?) not uncommon at all for men to keep mistresses - the wife was fully aware. Now who was that very high profile French politician who died not so long ago - the funeral procession included his widow & children ... and a little further down the line - his mistress.
2007-12-14 08:27:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you. I think it's different for everyone. I know personally, that I wouldn't deal with my boyfriend/husband cheating. But another woman might feel that she could get past it and move on with her significant other. Guys too...I know some guys that would be so heart broken and wouldn't be able to handle their girl cheating on them. I would say that a person that is ok with their spouse cheating, probably has no problem cheating on their spouses themselves.
2007-12-14 08:27:27 · answer #7 · answered by Marissa B 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would see it as disrespect. I think pissed is the perfect word to describe what I'd feel.
On the surface men and women would differ in their reactions but inside I think we'd all feel the same....pissed.
2007-12-14 08:26:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have to agree with you but i think women feel they arent giving there men enought attention and men get really pissed... i think women fear it more as they are often seen a more minority...
I am a woman...
2007-12-14 08:26:13 · answer #9 · answered by ohhdarkstoned111 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men tend to act more aggressively and want to hurt someone. Women tend to shut down and wonder what they did wrong and then forgive or run away. I actually think men fear it more because we are more territorial and possessive.
2007-12-14 08:28:33 · answer #10 · answered by Gilly137 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋