Fellow "Old People" - how did you cope when you first discovered you were really old?!?

Question

I've realized recently that my skin has turned to parchment, and everything sags and looks gross. But I still weigh 99 pounds and have a lot of energy, so I didn't think so much about it. My teaching job this year has been a challenge, with kids stamping their feet at me and refusing to do what they're told, but I've been patient and hard-working. Today, though, was really rough. I had another episode with a child who is deeply disturbed and has been in a lot of trouble, but I keep on loving him and praying for him. I made it to the afternoon, and when we were practicing for our Christmas program, a child motioned for me. When I walked over to see what he wanted, he pointed to another boy and said, "He says you're old." I can't tell you how it hurt. I used to be the popular teacher; I've always had fun with my kids while I was helping them achieve. This boy doesn't even know me; he doesn't know I lie awake at night worrying about our kids. All he sees is that I'm old.

Thank you all so much!!! I haven't yet figured out how to choose "Best Answer" (I am new on here), but it will be hard, anyway! You're all fantastic, with a lot of helpful comments. I think I am just very tired, and discouraged, and even though there have been far worse things happen "on the job", this just kind of tipped the scales today. A lot of it is just ego, or vanity - ME - OLD?!!! I feel better now and will go back Monday feeling renewed. I still adore my kids! And for Aunt B - you're so right about children who are seriously disturbed having the potential for harm. I've thought that about this child; I kept talking til they finally listened, and now several agencies are involved, working to get help for the child and also to prevent a tragedy. I will continue to pray, but as you say, other steps must be taken, as well. Thank you all again for helping me so very much! You must all be very caring and compassionate folk - God bless!

Answer 1

I'll bet you're the kind of woman who does and does for people and feels unappreciated. That can make you feel old before your time. Have a hot bath, a stiff drink and tell the world to f**k off! I'll also bet that you have at least one family member who would lessen the load if you would let them. You sound like a wonderful person!

Answer 2

You say you have been away from your family for several years. I think that is part of the problem. You don't say that you are interested in another religion, just that you don't like the controls in your current one. That is the same issue that confronted Eve in the Garden of Eden, and the results were the same. They were driven out of the garden and their relationship with Jehovah was compromised. As a young JW, raised in the truth, you would be very naive and could easily get hurt in this cruel world. Your friends do not sound like good association. I suggest you talk to the elders about your feelings and perhaps they can help you to understand. There are too many bad influences in the world, and unless you stay close to God's organization, you can get caught up in them. It seems to me that you are trying to justify something sinful that you want to do. If you have close friends in the organization I see no reason why you would want to leave unless you plan on committing some sins. Make sure any new thoughts you have are taught in the bible, and make sure the scriptures are not taken out of context. Your profile says you are a musician and singer and it may be that you want to pursue a career in the musical arena. Because you are artistic, you may be more of a dreamer than most. Don't let your dreams turn into nightmares.

Answer 3

I'll be 61 next Friday. I ride (motorcycle) with the Patriot Guard Riders, teach Sunday school (3rd grade, NO CRAFTS), am an AWANA Leader (see www.awana.org if you've never heard of it), sing in a choir, go to a men's Bible study class on Mon's, work full time at sometimes physically tiring work in my job, do yard work, house work. I horse around with the kids at church unlike some of the more staid members who don't have time to even say hi to the kids let alone get to know some of their names. For years, every October I'd take the k-2 kids for a 3 1/2 mile hike through a state park one weekend and 2 weekends later I'd take the 3rd -5th graders. It was only after 4 years of doing this I found out how long the hike was. After lunch, we'd take the road 1/2 mile back to the van.
I walk my dog almost every day for almost an hour.
It is said, you don't quit riding (motorcycles) because you get old, but you get old because you quit riding. I'm looking forward to my retirement in 5 years. First thing I'm going to do is get a job that's really crappy so I can tell them one day, "I don't need to put up with you," and walk out, just because I CAN! HE HE How many times have you wanted to do that with your job? I have a lot.
But seriously, I do plan on doing SOME kind of work when I fully retire just to keep busy. Either that or volunteer to teach English as a second language. I'll have my US Navy retirement, SS, and 2 small stipends from 2 unions, so it won't have to be too much.

Answer 4

If you work with young kids . You know one thing for sure ...they are very honest. That is what is so great about them . I'd smile at that one...my son was very impressed w/ his favorite teacher because she is 50 and he says she still looks good !!! And what impressed him even more was that she still thinks good. He's ten . 50 is old to him. I'm 42 and to some of the seniors I'm a young one but to my kids...I'm ancient and as far as sagging skin, I feel like the lines on my face is something I've earned. To end the coolest teacher had retired from his school last year at age 64 and if majority ruled the school would have been named after her! Keep on teaching...we need you!!!

Answer 5

I'm sorry that little boy was so cruel. He obvious has a lot lacking when it comes to respecting adults, which should be taught at home. We need more teachers like you who truly care about their students & had fun with them. I'm sure that you have left quite an impression on many of your students. I applaud you for that. Hopefully, when this boy becomes an adult, he'll think back on how much you cared about him & will regret what he said. I turned "62" years young two months ago. Since age is just a number in my book, I don't feel old or consider myself old. I continue to feel young at ♥ & as I grow older, I hope I always will. Happy Holidays!!!

Answer 6

Old is not even a number it is a perception. Many think we are old at 25, 30 and almost always over 40. Ever day you wake up breathing and on the top side of the dirt is a good day. Kids say what pops in the head they do not think about it. Keep up your good deeds! You are being blessed even more so on the hard days!

Answer 7

Yes, the first time you hear the word "old" and it is applied to you is a bit of a shocker. One of my daughter's boyfriends told me I sounded like an old lady on the phone. The rude little pup! I hate to admit it but he ruined my day. All I could think about was being an old lady. That incident happened 15 years ago. That boyfriend is long gone... thank goodness. I've decided to enjoy my status as a mature woman.

Please don't give up on teaching children. The "bad" ones need you the most. God bless you.

Answer 8

Oh remember? Little kids think anyone more than two or three years older than they are is OLD. I was working with elementary school children in my early 40s. We discussed my age so I asked them how old they thought I was. They thought a minute and clearly believing what they were saying they replied that they thought I was 100. So don't let it hurt your feelings.

I am only 70 so I haven't discovered that I am old yet!

Answer 9

We are all old to someone. Congratulations on being a teacher. That is one profession that deserves more praise and more money.

My first experience at being called old was when I hit my car into a can outside McDonalds. This was when I was in my 30s I heard someone call me "that woman." Talk about feeling old. There I was feeling so young and BOOM, no more. I come from a family that has many teachers. I admire them. I could never do what you do.

Now that I am really old, I just "deal with it" and tell myself that the person looking at me in the mirror is not me. LOL.

Answer 10

I am 67 and don't realize I am old until I go past a mirror...lol

But something else in your post bothers me. You say you have a child that is deeply disturbed and been in a lot of trouble and all you are doing is praying????

Haven't you watched any of these school shootings? EVERY ONE of them has had a teacher that said, "he seemed disturbed, but, I didn't do anything at the time".

I don't know what grade you teach, but, it is never too early to do something about these children...and there are more and more every year.