2007-12-14 08:05:15 · 28 answers · asked by shygirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Treat him like a dog to win your respect back. He needs to take care of the kid.
2007-12-14 08:09:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
That depends. Right now you are a ball of emotions. Not a good time to make a decision.
Did he tell you or would he have told you had she not been pregnant or just continued on with his adulteress relationship and lying to you frequently?
Do you have it in you to forgive and live with his transgression? Are you willing to do without so that he can pay child support to this woman knowing that his transgression will ALWAYS be right in front of you.
Could you love this child and not blame it for the sins of the father should he decide that he wants visitation rights.
I am sorry that you have to go through this, but these are the types of questions you need to ask and answer for yourself. And from that, you will be able to make your decision.
Cheating is bad and hard enough to get past. Cheating, a liar and a child....OUCH!
That means he wore no condom and there are diseases out there. Which means he didn't think about you in the least. Be grateful that it's a baby and not aids. Based on that alone, I'd divorce him!
Blessings and Hugs...
2007-12-14 08:16:49 · answer #2 · answered by MercurialMe :-) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you want to do? I understand that what you probably want to do most is to go back to the way things were before, and never think about it again. But it's not an option. What happened, happened. Sorry about your predicament. :(
I only see two basic options here - both very difficult. Do you think you want to stay in the marriage and work it out? It'll be hard, no doubt. You can also leave and file for divorce. It'll be difficult to, although in a different way.
For me personally, the fact that my husband had had intercourse with someone else wouldn't have been a deal-breaker by itself; but if he was to have a child with someone else, I would divorce him, as I absolutely don't want someone else's child in my life - at all. It really depends on how much you're willing to forgive, forget and tolerate. Consider one thing - unless the mother has an abortion, this child is going to be in your husband's life for good; and if you stay, the kid - and the mother - are going to be a part of YOUR life as well, like it or not. If you're not willing to deal with it, the best decision may be is to walk out now, before wasting any more time.
2007-12-14 08:23:18 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy Ego 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How very devastating that must be! My heart goes out to you! As difficult as this is, if I were you, I would want out of the marriage. When you see all the trouble this will cause you will see it would not be worth staying. For one thing, he cheated, you will find it extremely hard to trust him again. He will have to deal with this child's mother for many years to come. He will need to financially support this child. In other words. this will forever remind you that he cheated. Some couples have been able to over come something like this, but ask yourself, is it worth it? Only you can answer that. Get personal counseling first and then you can decide on what action to take. God Bless and best of luck to you!
2007-12-14 08:39:10 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm so sorry! You have 2 basic choices: Get a divorce or stay and try to work it out. Either way, (especially if you have kids with him) it's not going to be easy. He betrayed your trust and your vows. Does he want to be a part of this child's life? If so, you will always have this woman in your life.
Unfortunately, in my opinion, once you take back someone who cheats, they'll always expect you to take them back and they will cheat again.
This is a very emotional time for you. Be sure to take some time for yourself, to sort through all of your emotions and options. Is there someone that you can confide in? Talking things through with someone that has YOUR best interests at heart would be a great start.
2007-12-14 08:20:43 · answer #5 · answered by T. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. My husband also cheated on me many times. Like what people say, once a cheater, always a cheater. I'm also going to file divorce with him soon. Good luck. Email me if you need support n encouragement.
2007-12-14 08:41:19 · answer #6 · answered by le_snowangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You leave. It's only going to get worst and he's not going to stop cheating on you. If you stay you are telling your husband that it's alright to cheat. Leave him with his new baby's mother. If you feel you deserve this and you don't have a back bone you will stay and continue to get treated unfairly.
2007-12-14 08:12:24 · answer #7 · answered by KSR 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it would be easy to say get out of the marriage, but what if you still love him, then that is what makes everything worst. Sit down with him and see where he's at. Make him work for your love. You can not just sit back and tell him "ok I forgive you" then the next thing you know, your in the bed with your feet in the air. MAKE HIM WORK FOR YOUR HEART, THIS WILL LET YOU KNOW IF HE TRUELY NEEDS YOU.
2007-12-14 08:14:25 · answer #8 · answered by Tray 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as there is another child involved it means you are a second class citizen in his eyes. Starting thinking Divorce and get something for your time and patience and hard work in the relationship.
2007-12-14 08:13:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just found out that your husban cheated on you and the girl or young lady is pregnant what do you do tell you this i wouldnt be going anywhere if anyone would be the one who leaves it would be him.
best of luck
2007-12-14 17:27:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave...
Get good counseling...
Find a guy who has morals...
Don't carry this with you... every guy is different...
One note I have to bring up because I see it over and over... if a woman does not pursue a great sexual relationship with her man... and I mean PURSUE... and it has to be HIS opinion that the sex is great... men will gravitate toward anyone who will give them what they want...
I know a few women... really nice women... and good looking too... but they are not good in bed and don't have much sex(at best 2 times a week) and they keep getting cheated on... I hate to say it, but men want good sex... if they aren't getting it, I doubt you will EVER keep a guy. That's like asking a woman to stay with a guy who has no job... it's just VERY unlikely.
2007-12-14 08:12:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋