i have spoilt my baby. can anyone help me fix it?

Question

i take full responsibility for this problem but now i need help. i have a 6 week old baby girl. she suffers from colic and for the last week or so has been suffering from a cold and cough and couldnt lie flat so she has been sleeping on my chest with me sitting up. now she wont lie down at all. i feel really bad and like a terrible mother leaving her to scream but i cant sleep sitting up any longer and i cant get anything done in the house. please help xxx

she has been to doctor twice and he says there is nothing i can give her as she is too young for everything. just have to keep room cool but keep her warm

if its not possible to spoil her why does everyone keep telling me im being too soft by picking her up as soon as she cries??? they tell me i should leave her for a while but i cant do that. im so confused and frustrated

Answer 1

Try putting her in a bouncer seat or her car seat. Anything that will have her sitting up will work. Or put her in a sling and she will still be with you.

Answer 2

are you kidding me?!?! You are NOT spoiling her. How could you think that. She is just a baby and your are her mother. She's sick on top of being a BABY. Love her and take care of her and don't give in to any "idea" or "rule" the general public has. Sometimes you can't get anything done and sometimes you can't lay flat to sleep. What other big job do you have to do that's more important than mothering right now? Are dishes that important... no :-) Don't let her scream, you are doing something bad by doing this. Try a sling if need be. I just used tons of pillows are props when my baby girl needed to be with me. She's usually good about sleeping on me while I'm laying semi flat. OMG, take care of that girl.

Answer 3

Firstly, relax you can not spoil a child under 12 months, they're brain capacity just aint capable of manipulation etc. Your baby is crying from pain, discomfort and difficulty breathing from the cold so of course would prefer to sit up and sleep. First get her to a doctor asap, there are things that can be done for a colic baby and a cold is no joke with a young baby. Second try swaddle wrapping her in a blanket so she feels warm and secure and tilting her mattress...there are products on the market (wedges) that go under a bassinet mattress to tilt it so she wont be lying totally flat. Also buy a sling, they are comfortable, cheap and mean your baby is close but your hands are free which is perfect for house work. Not a baby carrier, a sling!
Also you can try getting a bedtime lotion and giving her a light massage to calm her....worked for mine.

Answer 4

I know it sounds insane because of the behaviors she's exhibiting, (sometimes I don't believe it myself) but there's NO WAY you can spoil a 6 week old baby. Don't beat yourself up. Do you have a front pack to put her in? That might help keep her comfortable and quiet while you do what you need to do around the house. And as far as the not lying down thing, it may be hard for her to breathe that way. Just love on your baby and don't worry that you're spoiling her till she's a few months older. You may want to take her toher doctor to see what to do about that cough. Good luck!!!!

Answer 5

Everyone made me feel bad about picking up my twins so much when they were tiny too. I guess people forget that newborns just need love and attention...they dont start to get spoiled until they get older. Give her the love and attention she needs, but dont be afraid to take a break for a few minutes. Lay her down in her crib and let her cry for a few min while you take a break. Im sorry that everyone is making you feel bad, I know how it feels. Tell them to mind their buisness it is your child. What I did with my twins was only let them sleep on my chest at naptime, because during the night I needed to lay down. At night I made sure they were fed, dry, had a pacifier, and were warm and of course swaddled tightly and they fell asleep in no time. Make sure you do a swaddle..they sleep so much better. Give that a try with the crib tonight. Hopefully it works better for you!

Answer 6

You haven't spoiled her, it's not possible to spoil a 6 week old baby. It's just that she doesn't feel well and it is more comfortable for her to sleep the way she has been on you. Don't feel bad. Try elevating one side of the mattress in her crib and running a vaporizer, that should help.

Answer 7

Is this your first baby? If so, welcome to motherhood, the ride of a lifetime! I know you're tired now, but you're in for the most incredible, wonderful, joyful experience of your life in raising a child of your own.
You are not a terrible mother AT ALL, you are feeling overwhelmed and tired, pretty much like all new mums with young babies! I was just like you with my first. Any time he so much as whimpered, the slightest sigh, and I would pick him up and hold and cuddle him. In essence, I, too, had trained him not to like to sleep lying flat anymore! I even developed a wrist condition from holding him constantly as I was very slight, and had to get cortisone injections and O.T. to remedy it!
I found a baby sling that straps onto the front of you to be a real lifesaver. You have baby close, they feel like they are being snuggled, and you have two hands free to get a bit done in the house. Don't overdo it though, the house can wait, your baby is only this tender age for such a short time.
To encourage your baby to lie flat, one thing I found helpful, was NOT doing it when it was sleeptime, but putting them down on a quilt on the floor with a baby mobile or babyframe over for baby to enjoy, not feel like you're trying to get them to sleep. You can sit with baby for a while, or lie beside her, and encourage her to look at the pretty mobile toys. In this way she gets used to lying flat and won't baulk at it so much for sleeptime. Sometimes she may fall asleep there too, with you beside her, and you can keep an eye on her and still do something where you are nearby and see her all the time, but get folding up done, or ironing (not too near of course), or even get your own valuable rest in.
You have an extra challenge with a baby with colic - I had one too, and it is very tiring, but it does come to an end! You have helped her through that by holding her upright, it does ease the pressure on baby.
Invest in a baby sling if you don't have one already, do what you can while you have that on, and ease her into lying down by lying with her for playtime, not just sleeptime. You'll get there, we all do! It sounds to me like you're doing a great job already. Well done and congratulations!

Answer 8

You can't spoil a baby!!

Baby wants to sleep sitting up so put some pillows UNDER her mattress to elevate it (no pillows in the crib b/c of suffocation risk).

Or try swaddling her in a blankie and put her into the car seat sitting up a bit.

Just remember - all she has in this world to comfort her is you, so pick her up and cuddle her when she cries and don't feel guilty about spoiling her!

Answer 9

You can not spoil a 6 week old . She cries because she is in pain . Try colic tablets , you can get them at Walgreen's or wal-mart . They work great and are all natural . Good luck and happy holidays

Answer 10

You haven't spoiled her, she's 6 weeks old. Can't spoil a 6 week old. Try other alternatives to holding her...vibrating chair, swing, wearing her on your body in a sling. Her car seat.

Answer 11

Will she sleep in her baby chair or anything that is on an incline? If so, it could possibly be baby heartburn, i.e. when she is laid flat, acid from her stomach is burning her gullet.

I think the Baby Whisperer recommends no jiggling or bouncing, and sleeping with the cot mattress raised slightly i.e. with a book or towel underneath it.

You could perhaps try swaddling her to try to settle her, it is ok to hold her while she begins to wind down to soothe her, as long as you put her down before she is sound asleep.