Living together over year, we are late 40's. From the start things were not great. He didn't like sex much, then after a month, he suddenly stopped sex and he hasn't touched me in 15 months.(I love sex by the way!). Says he simply has no desire for me or anyone. Have been to doctors. It's not the sex so much as a massive lack of intimacy and fun. I'm very loving and open. He'd been feeling horrible for a year, then his attack. Thank God he made it! He seems still bent on self destruction. I had total compassion and have done everything for him, but he rarely talks to me, never laughs, doesn't listen, doesn't seem to care about me, no kisses etc. But he is not all bad! He is also sweet. We never fight, so I thought that was good. I had romantic visions his attack would make him have a love for life and me and have different priorities, No. As much has he loves me, I feel so lonely and unhappy it is pathetic. He will be so upset when I leave. I do love him but I get confused. Advise!
2007-12-14 07:51:03 · 20 answers · asked by kalliemorgan62 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
His heart attack was 6 months ago.
2007-12-14 07:56:53 · update #1
Drop him for me, I love sex also, and I would take care of your every need. (also in 40's)
2007-12-14 07:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by -R 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Easiest way to do this is to make her lose her faith. The easiest way to do this is show that Mormonism is irreconcilable to the Book of Mormon. I would go through the argument that 2 Nephi says that only the devil teaches that there is no hell to drag people to an eternal hell, while Mormons teach that there is no hell--only 3 heavens, the worst of which is beyond all comprehension. Read Luke 20:27-38 and then ask if Jesus was lying about this. Understand the question being asked, so she cannot just go to the stock Mormon response. Read Gospel Principles ch 45 so that you can overcome the way that most Mormons weasel out of this one. Read and understand 1 Corinthians 42-47 and assert that you find it hard to believe that we preexisted because of that. She will undoubtedly bring Jeremiah 1:5, which works quite well in the Hebrew if God had a plan for whom he needed to build. Good scriptures on this line of reasoning are Ephesians 1:5, Romans 8:15, John 1:12, and Galatians 3:26. Just tell her that you don't believe that the Christ she is following is the biblical Christ, perhaps she will call the home-teachers and the bishop; you can have a mass apostasy. Say that you are sure that it is false; there are many cases of family rejecting members of their family for leaving, and you don't want that to happen, because you love your family, but you don't believe that Christ was a liar, so you are certain that families CANNOT be together forever.
2016-05-23 23:27:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you have to be is strong enough to realize you've already answered your own question. If he were the person for you, you wouldn't have all the questions. If you're a weak person who is willing to put up with a bad relationship just so you aren't "alone" then there is no help for you unless you get some guts and be honest with yourself. Suck it up and accept that you are responsible for your own happiness, or unhappiness in this case, and it's up to you to do something about it. This isn't about being selfish and abandoning someone, this is about looking after yourself. What are you a nursing home attendant? I'm not sorry if you think that's harsh, this is about your life, not some game you get to re-do if you don't like it. You're going to be dead for a very long time - don't waste a second on putting up with crap! Live as much of what life has to offer while you can, and share it with someone that will truly treat you special, and with the respect you deserve! Wille.
2007-12-14 08:05:22 · answer #3 · answered by willie pheeler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. This man has problems way beyond heart trouble. Whether it is massive depression (often accompanies cardiac problems, heart attack) or more psychological in nature, you can't cure him. I doubt any amount of treatment can. A man who swears how much he loves you, yet doesn't feel desire for you, has something bad wrong, and it ain't you, hon. How can what you describe be "not all bad"? It sounds hellish, to me. So he will be upset if you leave? Not for long, friend. He is too wrapped up in himself to notice your departure for long. Love him? Forget it. You want desperately to "fix" him but you can't. Get out of there while you still have some self esteem and life left.
2007-12-14 08:01:52 · answer #4 · answered by claudiacake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Al tho he had suffered a heart attack He did make it .
Sounds like that you two should be just friends and go on with your life and find that love and the sex Girl let me tell you I am 40 and if you don't do it now you never will life is to short to not have the passion and love you seek...Go and find it ..The best thing for both of you is this really ..Maybe he needs someone else to to be for filled in this life..so talk to him and go your different ways .be friends that is all it sounds like you have anyway ..
2007-12-14 08:11:28 · answer #5 · answered by datsleather 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you confused about? Or is it guilty? Do you feel guilty because he had a heart attack and you want to leave? If so, don't. What will be accomplished by your staying with him? I would say that neither of you love each other, that you are both in this relationship because it is comfortable for you, and neither of you want to start over in your late 40's-again.
The people that I know who really do love each other actually try to do something if their partner is not fulfilled in the relationship. For example, a couple in their 50's-husband has ED, but wife still loves sex, husband tried many other things from oral to buying toys and pleasing her with them. Even if he had no desire, he put her needs ahead of his lack of desire. And in the process, discovered that he felt like a new man! However, in your case, it looks like he has no affection to share with you and you crave affection-mismatch, and you allow your craving to cause damage to your self esteem. Do you need to stay with him because of a heart attack?
You need intimacy and affection. Would you encourage your daughter to choose a man that she is mismatched with, that she is not compatible with? No. So why do you remain with a man you are not compatible with? Unless both of you are willing to change your needs/wants to meet in the middle someplace, end it. You are not married, have discovered in just over a year that you are not compatible with each other, move out and move on.
2007-12-14 08:04:11 · answer #6 · answered by Daisy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you had all the right reasons to leave. Had being the operative word. Those aspects were still there prior to the heart attack, so by you leaving right after the heart attack definetly make it look like that's the reason, and it makes you look shallow. My point? If all those reasons you provided were enough (which I would concur), like you are making it seem right now, wouldn't you have left before?
2007-12-14 07:54:44 · answer #7 · answered by jay k 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first obligation is to live well and be happy. Your friend's happiness and well being is his responsibility.
You are not asking for and or receiving respect/caring and consideration. No magic will fall out of the sky one day and everything change (you must) ... it will get worse.
Dump the guilt baggage and leave ....believe me he will survive.
2007-12-14 08:06:13 · answer #8 · answered by paradox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not married. It's already not a great relationship. Now he is headed further downhill.
You have to live for your own happiness, because he certainly isn't living for you. You don't owe him forever in an unfulfilling relationship.
2007-12-14 07:54:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think that he would be upset if you leave? It sounds like he treats you like he doesn't care if you are there or not.
Leave, start living before you look back and regret it.
2007-12-14 08:03:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋