What do you think of a person like this?

Question

I work with a girl who never wants to go to company get togethers or parties. She's in her late twenties and married, no kids. She is very nice although quite quiet - works hard but usually not anything over 40 hrs a week. Anytime someone brings in cookies, she immediately says no thanks when offered. Outings to lunch - always shot down. Even the company Christmas party.

I'm curious to think of what others who work in an office, or work in general think of this type of person in the work place. Be as honest as possible, and as detailed.

She has worked for the company almost 5 years.

Answer 1

You just described me to a T. I usually describe myself as slightly antisocial - I simply don't feel comfortable around most people other my family and husband. It's not that I don't like people (well, it's a little bit that), but I simply prefer not to hang around people I work with. And yes, people do take that to mean I'm stuck up, which isn't really the case most of the time.

Mostly, I'm comfortable being me and I think that's how this girl is. She doesn't need to be around others to have a good time. I'm an only child so I'm used to being alone - and I have a confidence in that. I bet she is the same way.

Best thing to do is let her have her space - she is asking for that in a myriad of ways so just let her be.

Answer 2

There are many reasons why a person may not want to go out to lunch, attend office parties, or even eat something offered to them.
They could be very shy and uncomfortable in social situations. Perhaps they even suffer from a type of social anxiety disorder. She could have financial issues and she feels like she is unable to participate because she thinks she doesn't have the right clothing to wear of money to buy a gift. She may have allergies to certain foods or sensory issues that she chooses not to share with her co-workers. She may have a controlling husband. Or she may just plain chose to keep her social and work relationships separate for personal reasons.

Answer 3

On one hand, you could think that the person is just simply not interested in the company of others. However, most people are probably going to conclude that the person is stuck-up and thinks that the people around her (and their cookies) are not quite good enough for her taste, or for her in general, for whatever reason.

Personally, I always try to give the person the benefit of the doubt in most situations...especially if they are nice. Maybe she just doesn't like to go out...and maybe the day you offer food she isn't hungry. If her attitude was snotty, then I'd definitely be inclined to draw a conclusion that the latter of the explanations was right.

Answer 4

If she is married without kids and eschews all personal relationships with people at work, it could be that she is in a domestic violence relationship and her husband either won't "allow" her to talk to other people, or she's scared that she will tell someone what's going on and open a big ol' can of worms with her husband that she doesn't want to open because it would cause more violence at home.

Befriend her. Don't let her be isolated. Even if she is not in a domestic violence relationship, everyone could use a friend...

Answer 5

I have actually been the quiet, keep- to -my- self person in the office. The only way to truly judge your quiet co worker is to ask her in a non confrontational way why she doesn't participate in company functions or hang out with co workers. She might be shy. She could have had a bad experience with socializing with co workers in the past. She could even be sad or depressed. Maybe showing her that you are concerned about her will change her behavior and cause her to want to be closer to the group.

Answer 6

I know a person like that. In this case it's a religious thing. But in other cases, many people are introverts. Or they may prefer to seperate social and work habits completely.
There's not much to be detailed about. There are too many types of people out there and you never know where someone stands. Ever ask her??

Answer 7

There are a lot of reasons someone might be this way. It doesn't mean they don't want to associate with anyone at work. It means there are people there they can't trust and don't want to be around at all. A lot of people don't have any reason to mix their personal or social lives with their work life.

Answer 8

surely canine.... cats are so standoffish and unusual. They sit down on the backs of chairs, stairing at you, plotting some thing. organic evil in case you question me... canine on the different hand are spectacular. even if if their friendly or no longer, they continuously right this moment teach you some variety of interest, and you already know that they are there. they are going to arise, and get to appreciate you. they are lots greater valuable companions - they actively seek for out interest, and that they get lots greater excited approximately seeing you than cats do. they are additionally greater relaxing to play with. Plus once you carry your lady pal domicile for the 1st time, the 1st ingredient a canine does is positioned his face in her crotch.... you gotta admire that.

Answer 9

I am like this too. I really don't think she is interested in doing stuff with people she works with. Like to me I think like this I go to school, learn stuff, and go home. She doesn't hate you guys she is just not interested doing anything.

Answer 10

shes just a loner. Maybe you should try talking to her and see what the problem is. It could be that she is also shy and crying out for someone to talk to. Just try being her friend