I am the sort of person who sees things that aren't there and looks for hidden meanings etc: so excuse my naiveity. I went out with a girl. She says it wouldn't work between us because she could never truly get over he ex, though I think it was her unique way of letting me down gently. Anyway, she's sort of interested in someone else but it's not serious yet. She wants to be friends, something I'm struggling to accept because I still have feelings for her. It's too raw at the moment. It appears as if she's moved on and I have to accept that I know and do likewise. We haven't spoken for a couple of weeks because I've found out things she's lied about to me. She hasn't had the guts to speak to me and she knows I don't like her much at the moment. Last night I went out and she texted one of my friends to say she hoped I would have a good time. What's it to her? My life doesn't revolve around her. Maybe she thinks I wallow at home pining for her. Why would she say that?
2007-12-14 06:21:03 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are wallowing in it for her. Or you wouldn't have asked this about her. Don't try to be friends yet give yourself time to fully get over her.
2007-12-14 06:26:04 · answer #1 · answered by A * T 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She seems like a self centered egomaniac. No offense, since you like her, but the question is: do you like her for her real personality or because of the way she look and seems sincere when she talks to you, but is not in reality?
Here's the deal, I think she does expect you to stay home and wallow over her, so that she can feel get that much needed self esteem boost. Since you haven't called her, she is probably missing the ego boost, and had to text her friend while you two were hanign out, just so that she could put herself out there infront of you and make you think about her again, and possilbly call her and therefore give her another much needed ego boost.
Your best bet with this type is to ignore her and have fun without her. She will start to wonder why you were able to get over her so quickly and start to want what she can't have...
2007-12-14 06:30:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, looks like she is More grown up than you, she wants you to have a good time because she is your friend. So what she is interested in someone else, you like her as a friend too right? when you have calmed down about the relationship ending I am sure she would like to be friends with you, that sort of love for friends doesn't go away if you have been out together and then split up. When I was younger that happened to me and I wish now that I had stayed in touch with him coz with a good friend you can have a cry on their shoulder and everything then seems much better.
Just go out and have fun, see how you feel in a couple of weeks or so and if you think you two can be friends again then go for it, hope this helps.
2007-12-14 06:42:26 · answer #3 · answered by bamco19 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about her already...you sound like you need a spine. It's sounds to me like you DO wallow at home pining for her!!
She doesn't like you enough to go out with you. This happens to pretty much every normal person in the world at least once in their lives, normally maybe 2 ,3 or 4 times!
Get over it, Imagine she's dead, it's a waste of time and effort trying to be friends with someone who's rejected you.
There are plenty more fish in the sea. In fact there's more females in the world than males so it'll be a piece of piss getting a younger and fitter model.
Do It. there's an old saying which the women will hate me for although i think some will grudgingly accept it's accuracy. It's 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen'
Women like men to be men, not nancy boys like you sound at the moment.
2007-12-14 06:32:41 · answer #4 · answered by Mr Tripod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok
I think you are right she was letting you down gently and she clearly is moving on and that's tough for you because your having more trouble.
She wants to be your friend and knows that your angry at her shes trying to make things right by texting her. See doesn't think your pining at home she just wants to let you know that she cares about you and wants to be friends.
Your going to be mad at her, I mean she dumped you
but you will get over it, your sensitive and every little thing is going to spark off some emotion.
You need to talk to her and tell her that its too raw and you would like to be friends but your not quite ready at the moment. I understand that a bit of pride might get in the way here but It'll be the best thing for your friendship in the long term.
I hope this helped.
xxx
2007-12-14 06:29:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it might be a way for her to somehow communicate with you. People don't get over someone they cared for that quickly, even if they don't admit it. Just because shes going with someone else right now doesn't mean she doesn't think about you. It sounds like she wants everything at this point, you and another man but that obviously won't work.
It could also be her arrogance that she feels bad for you or something since she let you go. I say don't talk to her, it's not a good idea to keep communication open at this point and go out and have a good time! Especially since it sounds like you're moving on. Meet some new people, there are plenty of girls out there!
Good luck to you!
2007-12-14 06:26:46 · answer #6 · answered by Chewbacca 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
becuase she is being selfish. She wants her cake and to eat it too. She likes the attention she gets from you but she wants to get it from others too. When you went out it showed her that you might be getting over her n she didn't like that. She knew that text would get back to you n bother you n maybe keep you holding on or thinking about her a little longer. Let her go or keep going out n make her learn her lesson. Trust me on this i have been her before. That wasn't a well wish for you that was a smart *** remark more like "well i sure hope he has fun with some other girl then me!!!!" type comment. She was jealous.
2007-12-14 06:27:16 · answer #7 · answered by Rebekah D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do read a lot into things don't you.
It sounds to me like she cares for you as a friend, but only as a friend, and that she has bent the truth on occasion to as you say - "let you down easy", because although she doesn't want a romantic involvement with you, she is still wanting to be your friend.
I would take it at that and resign yourself to just being friends. In the meantime try to focus your energies on meeting other people and doing things that don't involve her.
2007-12-14 06:36:19 · answer #8 · answered by pstottmfc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is feeling guilty.
The thing is though - there are always going to be times when you are going out with someone and you just know it's not right.
It doesn't mean she hates you, she probably does like you a lot - even love you in a way - just not in a way she felt was going to last for the rest of her & your lives.
Dating is ultimately the search for "the one" - no matter how much people say they really just want to have fun & not settle down - their minds and bodies are dictating things to them that are WAY out of their control!
Don't blame her - I really don't believe that most women go out with the aim of hurting their partners!
2007-12-14 06:27:58 · answer #9 · answered by Hedge Witch 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see some jealousy on her part. She is checking to see if you have hooked up with another girl, I guess she thought that you would mope around and hope that she would come back. Don't even worry about it. Go live your life and have a great time. Move on live for the future, don't worry about the past.
2007-12-14 06:29:54 · answer #10 · answered by Doodle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋