My husband and I were separated, I during the break-up, I had a fling. I later told my hubby about the fling and with whom it was with. I did this so that the relationship would be brought to the open and that it wouldn't go any further.
When I told the guy what I had done, I told him that I wish nothing ever happened between the two of us and I wish I never told you anything about how I feel. He said, "No, what you wish is that you didn't tell your husband."
I believe he is the one that wishes I didn't tell my husband...so that the affair would continue on. What do you think?
2007-12-14 06:17:04 · 19 answers · asked by willow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It was the correct thing to do to tell your husband what had happened during your separation. If the two of you want to repair your marriage, complete honesty is what is needed.
The only worry that you have going on now is the fact that you seem to be continuing to communicate with the guy you had the "fling" with. This is not a good idea, unless you absolutely cannot avoid this person ie: co-worker, neighbor etc., you should not be talking to him or carrying on any type of a relationship with him. This would continually be insulting to your husband.
You have the reason figured out, this guy is the one who wishes you did not tell your husband. The fact that he is the type of low-life who would allow you to have a fling with him while you and your husband were separated proves that he is worthless. You had a weak and vulnerable moment and he used you for sex instead of being respectful of both you and your husband.
I hope that you and your husband can work out your problems and remain together. If you have not started to go for marriage counseling, you should really do so; it can be very helpful.
I wish you and your husband the best and have a Merry Christmas.
2007-12-14 06:33:11 · answer #1 · answered by Sue F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first respnded. Why are you still talking to the guy you had the affair with? Why did you have an afair to begin with? I get the feeling that you're very young and took advantage of the "break" you and your husband had to sleep around a bit. I think the affair probably will continue on.
2007-12-14 06:24:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should have broken it off with the affair guy. Simply stated, tell him, "no more". You should not have told you husband - this happened when you were separated and may now hinder your repairing you marriage. Whether or not your husband was told is not the issue now, because if you want to end the affair, you end it. You could have ended the affair without telling your husband. No good ever comes from admitting affairs.
2007-12-14 06:23:39 · answer #3 · answered by Bette 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The guy wishes you never told your husband just in case your husband wants to kick the s*** out of him. What I don't understand is why people can't wait until they are divorced before they start dating other people.
In separation papers doesn't it say that you aren't to get involved with other people until after the divorce is final?
2007-12-14 06:36:12 · answer #4 · answered by Dave G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I ask the same question as Corrine B. Why are you still talking to the guy in the office. And....how come you have no self control but apparently your husband does. Seems to me he's the better half of the marriage.
2007-12-14 06:27:04 · answer #5 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you made a mistake and should now face the consequences, whatever they may be. And you did the right thing by telling this guy to back off. Work on your marriage and forget about this guy. You are very lucky your hubby took you back.
2007-12-14 06:20:56 · answer #6 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are partly right. Every guy wants another chance to hit it again. Especially if you had hit it good and left her is a sweaty heap. So on that count you are right. However, you told your husband so that you could try to clear your guilt. It was not just for his benefit but for your own. Not sure if I agree with that part though.
2007-12-14 06:26:58 · answer #7 · answered by callawak2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop the affair and tell your husband everything if you still love him and want to make your marriage work.
2007-12-14 06:50:01 · answer #8 · answered by Ray D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If coming clean is what needed to happen, then I think you did right.
And you're lover's accusing response was uncool.
I hope you've worked things out with your fella and have created a new marriage that's working better for both of you.
2007-12-14 06:20:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're probably right. Obviously he doesn't know what you're thinking, and you do. You should probably not continue contacting him in order to prevent your husband from becoming jealous or suspicious if he finds out.
2007-12-14 06:20:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋