Marriage question?

Question

I read this section all the time, with all the divorces going on it's scary for somone who has only been married for a short time...me and my husband don't believe in divorce! My question is if you are still married what's your story if you are divorced what brought you two to that point!

Answer 1

Don't let divorce scare you because if you and
your husband respect, com mitt, love, support,
communicate, with each other on a continuous
basis then divorce will never happen, it's when
one of you lacks in the above is when divorce
could happen. Married for more than 20yrs,
we still apply the principle today and our marriage
is rock solid and not society, or anything else
can interfere into our marriage therefore divorce
is not in our communication.

Answer 2

My goodness. What stories!!

We've been married for four years now. We married more because of an unplanned pregnancy but we saw a possibility of happiness in each other.

What has kept us together is that we have never given up on that possibility. We have been through some very rough times (the pregnancy, not being accepted by her family (racial), both of us losing jobs, moved 4 times, no family support). Financially, we have been a nightmare as we have never had positive cash flow in all these years. However, we still continue to work for the "higher" life.

Our son now is the biggest motivating factor as he is absolutely wonderful and we pour everything into him. We know that he needs a solid parental (plus husband/wife) foundation and we do our best to give this to him.

The first two years were pretty horrible for us but we are through them now. Life is getting easier and soon we will have our big break.

Our "baby" marriage is starting to grow and mature. Divorce is not an option for us. Our child is too important and we feel that "some day", we will be happy because we keep trying (why would anyone stop?).

Answer 3

We are still married because we are compatible with each other. We do not fight much, we are intimate often, we kiss each other often, and ask thoughtful questions and treat each other with kindess. We also dont' believe in divorce. We discuss issues that bother us calmly and try to understand each other's point of view. We have great senses of humor, and laugh often. Hmm, thats about it! Hint, we were good friends for about 3 years before we ever dated each other, I think that is a big part of why we get along so well. We really took our time with dating and all of that. Grew up in the same home town and went to the same schools since we were kids.

Answer 4

We married at the very young ages of 17&19,in April,it will be 13 horrible/wonderful years,I put it that way because we were young and immuture,but very much in love.We hit some rocks in the road,and even fell in some wholes,but we loved each other enough to ALWAYS,bust our butts to stay together,being together,fighting for each other was always better than being apart.Now,we are desustingly happy,and have been for a very long time,we always agreed that the only deal breaker in our marriage was cheating,obviously never had that,GOOD LUCK,YOU'LL MAKE IT!!!!

Answer 5

Divorce happens when there's no more commitment to make things work on eighter side. Sometimes even when one side still wants to work at it, it is too late. I have been married for 8 yrs now after my dovorce. This time around my 2nd wife was lucky enough to marry a man and not an inmature boy like the one my first wife had to deal with.

Answer 6

WOW, I hope I can help... Stop worrying is the number one key to success.

I have been married four times. The first time was a high school marriage. I was young and impetuious. I mean stupid.
We were together for about 18 months. We had a son. She decided that I was not challenging enough(her words in court) She needed to have affairs to be excited in life. I was too, young to understand so we got divorced. The custody fight lasted longer than the marriage and was just about as fulfilling. Good news is, I work with my son and he is now a father (3 grandkids). She too, went on to marry and divorce four times and is currently single with three other boys still at home. What was I thinking?

#2 - Was a bad thing. I got married to have a better chance of getting custody of my son from the first marriage ( I told you it took some time) I feel bad about this now, but my attorney actually suggested this! Great guy! We were together 13 months and I ended up leaving her because she was really pretty obnoxious towards me. I worked two jobs and did all I could to make it work. She was having some medical issues and was being a bull headed B****. Even her family felt bad for me. They were great people. I loved spending time with them and actually did a lot of fund raising work with her dad. I missed them, but not her.

#3 - Was a marriage built on the belief that friends could be married and even though I still didn't know what "love" was I thought it would work and that this was the best it would ever get. We shared a fondness for pretty much all of the same things, except sex. Oh, and work...She didn't like work, so she didn't work. All ok we still had fun, but financially we were drowning. We bought a house and I got a new job. I was moved to second shift as a supervisor and on my first shift, as the plant manager was introducing me around I found "love". I fell hard for a woman I met that night. I actually saw her soul. I strugglesd to cope and was depressed. I lost 40 pounds in about 3 weeks and started seeing this new woman on the side. I got a divorce from #3.

#4 - The "love" of my life. The woman I met at work. She is incredible. We have been together now for 17 years and it doesn't seem like it is enough. I am crazy in love with her and she with me. We go on dates together and have raised 2 kids. I cannot even begin to put into words what the sight of her does for me. She is not what many would consider a top model as far as looks, but to me, she is the most beautiful woman on earth. She wears her heart on the outside where everyone sees it. I am in love. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we will be together until we die. She is my friend, my lover and even more...she and I are one.

I wish you the best and I hope you enjoyed hearing my tales of woe and love. Always remember, you will never hit a home run unless you are at the plate. Keep trying in life, love yourself and you will have the love of others. Divorces are a fact of life for many these days. I would say all of mine were due to ignorance and bad choices. I like many used poor judgement in my decisions and my haste. I listened to the wrong people and I really was too, young to understand who I was and what I really needed, like so many others I listened to friends who talked of love as if they knew what it really was. Only when I had failed and learned was I able to find myself and love. Time...if people would just use it wisely...

Yoda out

Answer 7

Married almost 25 years. There are probably allot of factors that keep people together and I don't claim to be an expert, but I think the basic principle is to make up your mind early on that your marriage is forever.

If you treat your spouse like you expect to be together forever, then you have to work out your problems and treat each other with enough respect to make it work out.

Answer 8

Married 2 yrs, together for 7.
He doesn't act like he is interested in making it work. Buries his head in the sand when there is a problem. Can never get him to talk. I wonder why I married him now.

Answer 9

We are still married simply because we choose to be. We haven't thrown ourselves into each other so much so to where we have lost who we were as individuals. We know that each morning when we wake up beside each other that we are there by choice and don't feel "stuck." We also realize that marriage is hard work and needs constant care. If one of us even feels a flicker of being in a rut in our relationship we talk about it and try to punch through it. So far so good.

Answer 10

Well, i'm not divorce, yet! i've been separated for almost two years. What brought us to this point was he's constant cheating. The first time i forgave him, then he began to hit me and i ran. then he cheated on me again. he moved to another state with the other women, then he cheated on her. now he's with someone older and a child. sad i know but right now i'm healing.