How would you feel if someone called you and said...?

Question

That they were a member of your family, a long lost sister. And, had been looking for you for some years, and finally with the help of a detective has managed to finally find you? Would you welcome them or be disturbed? How would you handle this?

FYI... I'm the one calling them!

no one had any Idea I existed, no records and all the old ones are gone. Even the parents have been lost to cancer... it's a long sad story!

Thank you all for your kind and loving answers! I don't think I can pick a best answer... Big Hugs to everyone!

Answer 1

I would welcome you with open arms. I have no family that I know of except my one son. I'd welcome you even if you weren't my sister!!

Answer 2

I would investigate thoroughly by speaking to older family members or looking in public records. They would never learn where I live until I had checked them out. It's a pity but the world if full of scam artists.

While doing genealogy, I've often uncovered cousins that I knew nothing about. Both of us usually talk extensively comparing family members and getting acquainted to be sure they really are kin and, even if true kin, that they are someone I want to know. I get my mail through a P. O. Box so I never have to give out my physical address until I'm certain that I'd be alright having this person knock on my door.

A true proven long-lost sister would be welcomed with open arms.

Answer 3

Most of the answers were posted before they realized that you were calling to say you were a long-lost sister. You didn't say what the situation is, but I'm assuming you grew up as an adopted child and are looking for a birth parent. Approach this carefully. Often, people who have given up a child for adoption have not told many people about this and it could create some really issues in the family. I hope your situation will be a happy one and you will have a great reunion with this new family.

Answer 4

Hi Scooter - I have read most of the answers and in most cases I agree with their words of wisdom. However I did get a chuckle from all those who mention DNA testing. I am sure that they have absolutely no clue at all as to the cost of such a a test. It is extremely expensive - but then again, if you really are looking for a long lost sister, perhaps the cost would be worth it. However, if the person you are seeking turned out to be a fake - you would be out a great deal of money - and if you still want to pursue this angle, get your own private detective! In for a penny, in for a pound! Good luck Sweetie, CJ

Answer 5

I would love it!
I wish you were calling me!

A little over 20 years ago I made a call like that one to my birth mother.
It went over well of course she knew about me(smile)
Her first words my daughter my daughter where have you been( I loved it but a little strange since she left me in San Francisco) (smile) She is great and only two relatives did not accept me and still do not but those two do not get a long with anyone.......My sister's husband to this day he thinks I want my mothers money or something when she dies.......My mothers brother am the wrong religion for him even though my mother and i share the same faith and I ride a Harley oh well they are missing out.......
One idea would be to give them all the information you have then tell them you would like to talk to them and discuss what this information means or can mean.....
I think people who reject the phone call are worried that the person makeing that call
wants something or are mental ill or want money or are criminals.......
I do not know the whole situation ...
Rejection or Acception...........keep the shiny side up

Answer 6

I would request a dna test at a known, reputable lab before ever meeting the person at all, and would refuse any future correspondance until it was completed.

Even then I would proceed with caution, only meet in public places, with another family member or friend along too, if possible, and do a criminal history/background check on them. Get the detective's name and check his/her credentials and reputation with local law enforcement in his/her home town. NEVER give out personal info for them to do their own background check on you...

Don't have them in your home. A pro can find your personal info in a matter of seconds and be out the door before you can get some more sugar for their tea or use the restroom.

It sounds like the beginnings of a perfect scam to prey upon a person's lonliness, especially if they are indeed alone.

That being said, my first husband and his 8 siblings eventually found eachother after being removed from the family home as children...some are very close now, others turned out exactly like the neglectful, abusive situation they were taken from. It's a crap shoot.

Answer 7

I'm one of those people who could not leave it alone and would have to make the effort to speak with the family members. Rejection or Acceptance I'd still have to see it to the end. But do prepare yourself for the emotions to swing either way.
As many know it took me 36 yrs. to locate a son of mine. I was blessed that he had also sought me. In fact when I found him he had all but given up hope. He had even seen a judge making a 1,000 mile trip to see if there were any other options for him to locate me.
I was very blessed. Even though we talk every two weeks or so and he has moved even further away in miles. We have bonded.
I was involved in my stepdaughters wedding and could not make it but the second year after locating my son his brother paid for his plane ticket and his sister drove over 1500 miles and 2 other sisters drove 400 miles and they all spent a week together.
He was surprised to know all the others had always known about him. He looks and acts the most like me. And definitely looked like my father. I wish for you as happy an experience as mine.

Answer 8

This happened to someone I know. His mother when she died left him a letter telling him who his father was.
He traced the family to find he had 2 half brothers, they had no idea he existed. He got in touch to see if they would like to meet him. Before they would have dna tests they made him sign a document saying he would not make any claim on his fathers estate.
He signed and the test was done. The results were in a grey
area, they didn't prove yes or no. The father was dead and the difinitive test could only be done with him.
The whole experience was not very edifiying and my friend has not contacted his alleged brothers again. They have made no effort to contact him. Be careful there are not many happy endings in these situations.

Answer 9

This happened to my daughter who is adopted. I had always told her that when she was 18 she could put her name on the provincial list to to seek family members and she did at 19 after she had a child and wondered about her family history. As it turns out, she had an older sister and brother who had also been adopted together. She met her birth mom who has since passed away . Go for it Scooter , you have nothing to lose and you may gain another family.

Answer 10

I would be thrilled beyond belief to think I had another sibling! There are six of us, and we're tight! If there were another, or many more, how could I feel anything but joy? Family is such a blessing. I just learned that my 91 year old father had another sister who dies as a youngster. I felt so sad for him, and for the rest of us, that we missed out on having that aunt in our family. Whatever the circumstances in your case, it no longer matters - just go from this point forward!

Answer 11

I would have to see it through to the end, happy or sad. It must be eating away at you, not knowing. And, there will be emotional ramifications, either way. I would make a list of the best possible scenario and the worst possible scenario, trying to prepare myself for either option. But, if there is one thing I have learned, its "If you don't ask, the answer is always no." Personally, I would welcome a long lost sister, thorns and all. Good luck! I'll be thinking about you.