2007-12-14 05:02:46 · 15 answers · asked by Lean_on_Me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't tell him he turns me off, no. There are different ways. A marriage requires teamwork, and as a team, you need to help your spouse. How? Encourage more healthier meals, prepare salads, avoid big meals before bedtime. Invite your spouse to jog every morning, or get him/her a membership to a gym for both of you to go "for health reasons". Even if he/she figures out he/she is overweight and you are fighting against it, it is better to let your spouse know you are willing to work this out with them, and be a part of this rather than just saying "you are fat, you turn me off. Fix it". It is also important that you partake in the diet, even if you sneak a mcdonalds trip here and there. It is very hard to eat salad while watching someone having cheesecake.
2007-12-14 05:16:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
You have to say something.
You know the saying " Love is unconditional" while this may be true ,attraction IS NOT.
The longer term complications can be damaging to the relationship.
Rather than "it turns me off",something Like "What has happened that you've decided to let yourself go?", or "is there something I can do to help you lose that weight?."
But forget the "I'm concerned about your health" line, that is such B.S. and everyone knows it.
You'd be wise to act sooner rather than later ,as the more weight gained the more difficult to get back to "fighting weight"
2007-12-14 13:15:42 · answer #2 · answered by Haley D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Always support your spouse and give encouragement. Offer for them to tag along when you do something active.
I would say never say it's a turn off, chances are they already know and saying would only make it worse.
Plus you can cook "special" meals for the both of you!
2007-12-14 13:21:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I would not immediately say it turns me off. That's not nice and would be incredibly depressing to hear. I would say that I know you've (or we've, if it's true, have you gained weight too?! you might be surprised as a lot of times spouses gain together!!!) and I'm concerned about your/our health. I'd love to work out together, let's get a gym membership for ouselves this Christmas and try to live healthier in '08.
2007-12-14 13:14:32 · answer #4 · answered by Ren 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Don't knock a person just because their metabolism isn't as fast as it used to be.
Women retain and gain more weight than men throughout their lives. It's just their genetic make-up.
If you are harping on the person and running them down about their weight, that stress can cause the body to do the opposite and they will gain more weight even if they eat less food. (That's a instilled human mechanism no one can change.)
The best thing to do is change your diet. Seek the help of a nutritionist. They will alter the diet according to the foods you both like to eat.
Both of you will eat healthier, will lose excess weight, and will feel a lot better about yourselves.
2007-12-14 13:10:27 · answer #5 · answered by Ella 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Funny how when women are single and dating they are trim and fit dressed nice while trying to "close the deal."
Once they get that ring ,they start to swell up, the tight jeans or fitted slacks become sweats.
When confronted with the weight gain you will hear a thousand excuses, but once they get dumped, they are back at the gym, they're fit and trim again ,looking to make another sale.
Too bad they can't have the respect for the guy they are with to stay tight for him!
2007-12-14 17:50:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you tell your spouse to lose weight it will only make them subconsciously Gain weight. Go for some evening strolls together.
2007-12-14 13:14:19 · answer #7 · answered by casper 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
No. The only reason I would do that is if he were jeopardizing his health.
I've been the one who the "caring" people tried to get to lose weight. It doesn't feel good, and it certainly does NOT improve self-esteem. It only ever humiliated me and made me doubt myself even more than I already did.
2007-12-14 13:13:44 · answer #8 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I would encourage him and support him in what he WANTED...He would have to do it for himself if he wanted to...I would be concern for his health but, not turned off by his weight at all....
2007-12-14 13:13:27 · answer #9 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
i would ask him if he would like to work out with me and prepare healthy meals at home but i would not tell him "it turns me off".
2007-12-14 13:06:33 · answer #10 · answered by always thinkin 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋