I have seeked counceling for myself she refuses to go to marriage counseling.The reason for seperating was I was being moody and yelled at her twice.I have told her sorry but she refuses to forgive me saying she can't trust me.She had previouse ex's that was abusive.I love her with all my heart and wish there was something I could do to soften her attitude towards me.I tried begging, pleading,nothing has worked.I wish there was something I could do.
2007-12-14 04:55:31 · 18 answers · asked by andrew n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Buddy....did it ever occur to you that this was an excuse to give you the boot and file for divorce for reasons other than what she's telling you?
Think man. Either she's off her rocker and overly sensitive on top of that or there's a boyfriend in the woodpile.
2007-12-14 05:05:32 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dajack and Yeimarine G's answers could be right. But let's try to see the situation from another angle. It could also be that she needed space to clear her mind from all that is troubling her. She filed for a divorce. This could be an advice from someone close to her. She couldn't make up her mind, she was rattled, and when that advice came. she took it. When she has already filed for a divorce, another someone close to her, entered into the picture; convinced her not to go through with it; that it's not too late to back out. So, loving you and the children, she came back, giving you and herself another chance. She couldn't waste those 15 years of togetherness. And she doesn't want to have a broken family. What you can do now is to have a heart-to-heart talk with your wife. Ask her why she left. If it was because of you, please lower down your pride or ego, and ask her what are the things you have or have not done that hurt her. If she says "because of this, and this, and that", please, please, don't argue with her anymore. Try to see things in her perspective. If you can do it, change things or yourself for the better. Please remember, It wasn't easy for your wife to come back to the same environment. She now needs your support to everything in your family.
2016-05-23 22:58:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately I sense that theres more to the story than just a simple mood spell. This probably has been in the makng for some time and the yelling just broke the camels back and was all shes going to take. What youre describing now is the desperate attempt of a desperate man to save his marriage when he should have been doing this all along. If her minds made up theres little you can do now to change it but to go along with her wishes and pray God intervenes on your behalf. Sorry, but most men dont learn til its too late, as Ive been there done it too. Youve just found your wifes breaking point and all women have one. Good luck
2007-12-14 05:21:49 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She have been planning this for awhile probably you just didn't see the signs. If you really love her and wants to see a possible restoration, you will give her space right now. She is mad and she is thinking this is what she needs to do. If she has a troubled past with abusive men, then she might be thinking she is justified in doing this. Back off for now. Don't loose your cool because then you will be giving her motives to think you have not change. Go to counseling,,Take an anger management course. Do everything to fix your self for you, not for her. Don't call her, don't wait by the phone for her call. Take this time to work on your issues....If this is meant to be, then you will be able to be more successful in making her see the change,,,,good luck.
2007-12-14 05:07:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does she have any reason not to trust you? Try talking to one of her family members and see if they can talk her into going to counseling with you. If she has had abusive relationships in the past, she could be suffering from PTSD and not even know it. Don't give up if you love her, pray for her heart to be softened, shower her with affection and gratitude. In my opinion, it is NEVER acceptable to yell at someone you love. I have been married for 13 years and my husband and I have never raised our voices at each other. That doesn't mean we haven't had disagreements, but we have never yelled or been critical of one another. Good luck, and I will be praying for her and you.
2007-12-14 05:05:05 · answer #5 · answered by megmom5 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this is hard to believe, but if someone cannot handle a little bit of anger, then they have issues WAY deeper than what you see on the surface. You aren't the one who is guilty for past mistakes. She needs to take her anger out on her ex, not on you. Maybe letting her go is the best thing that will ever happen in your life. You don't see it now, but if she hasn't the backbone to endure you expressing your feelings, then get out of Dodge before she shoots you dead and claims battered wife syndrome.
2007-12-14 05:06:39 · answer #6 · answered by Aiden 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Work on getting yourself better and trust in GOD.
If she was in an abusive relationship before that may be why she is acting the way she is.
That just means she has to work on things.
Maybe she meant someone else.
I am not a fortune teller and you are not one either.
Fix yourself.
2007-12-14 05:08:56 · answer #7 · answered by teeman824 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can always contest the divorce.
Then she will have no other option than to see a counselor.
The counselor will give the court their professional opinion of the matter.
If your wife's reasons are valid enough, then the divorce will be processed through.
Keep a lawyer on retainer just in case.
2007-12-14 05:04:26 · answer #8 · answered by Ella 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
there is something missing.
if i were you, i'd go to counseling for at least 6 months time. find out all you can about you and your relationship. then figure out what you want, what will be best for you.
if she's been abused to the point she's upset because you yelled at her, she may be suffering post tramatic stress. this is something that can be, and should be, treated.
2007-12-14 05:31:02 · answer #9 · answered by equimatch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer - she's cheating. And she's got her walls up and won't let you in. Someday she'll regret it but by then you will be so much better! Go forth my man and take it from another guy - it hurts beyond comprehension but you will be living the dream sooN!
2007-12-14 05:39:28 · answer #10 · answered by Delay 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋