*****
Old, frail forms walk these darkened hills
No one sees them, you see
They sing a song to the cold North Wind
Nobody hears as they plead
Rocks replace children where they played
No fairytales, no leaves
The game has faded to shades of gray
Winter colors subtle contrast
We roam this ground with heads held low
No memory, a lucky place to be
Opaque apparitions from another time
Out of place, faceless…ancestry
***
2007-12-14 04:52:55 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
And...what can I say...this is IT! The heart of the 'matter', in the 'matter', and for the 'matter'...ancestry.
To pick these lines apart would be wrong...it's in your 'message' that the totality is viewed....I don't know what frame of mind you were in when you wrote this, but you have said it all within one poem.
When all is said and done...of course it never will be!...poetry can be about black, or, white things...but, poetry MUST remain in a gray area for it to survive as a universe of thought.
uh, I understand what I just wrote...uh, maybe someone else will, too?
Elysabeth...poemhunter
2007-12-14 06:03:00 · answer #1 · answered by Elysabeth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like "winter colors subtle contrast." This is unusual for a man, who generally doesn't see subtle shades of gray, but you're a poet and therefore see things other men don't see. Are you in a cemetery?
2007-12-14 05:20:53 · answer #2 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope you save your work or have Yahoo already read their right s to you? It would be a shame for them to get any glory.
A mystical verse remembering much harder times. Always good imagery, and the well written gift of briefly taking us to another place and/or time. All good, never any complaints.
2007-12-14 05:33:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like it. It has grave undertones as the plot deepens, but you know the old saying, the morgue the merrier. Perhaps I should undertake to stop this general line and get back to work as I am buried in paperwork. Because if I stay here, it is my funeral.
2007-12-14 05:21:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its good- but the second stanza is a little off- doesn't flow like the rest of the poetry. I think its caused you flipped the rhyme.
2007-12-14 05:01:30 · answer #5 · answered by sticky nikki 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it is nice.. i like the lines, "no memory, lucky place to be".. I feel it has great meaning..
Good Luck..
2007-12-14 05:10:08 · answer #6 · answered by doer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
and if I never saw another write
from TD, I do swear
I'd cling to this one mighty tight
to keep freshly endeared
Beautiful work TD *^_^*
2007-12-14 07:48:43 · answer #7 · answered by TrollHunter 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it was a delight to read really enjoyable :0)
2007-12-14 06:10:29 · answer #8 · answered by this account is no longer in use 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speechless again! I need to retort!
2007-12-14 05:16:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Where have all the flowers gone?
Young girls have picked them everyone
Oh, rating -- well done. "No one sees them, you see." Nice turn.
2007-12-14 05:19:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋