Why is divorce so hard? Why can't one just accept the fact the other wants out? Why would u wanna be w/ someone that doesn't wanna continue being w/ u? I understand that person may love u, but obviously the feeling is not mutual so why torture urself?
2007-12-14 03:54:16 · 17 answers · asked by ♥Gotta Luv Pure Evil ♥ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Old enough trust me, I know me personally, I would not wanna be w/ someone that did not love me. I would not wanna sit there and make them feel bad for not loving me. I wouldn't want to guilt them into loving me. Either u do or u don't. Why try and make them love u again, that just doesn't make sense!
2007-12-14 04:05:13 · update #1
Gem- u are right, u can not make it work if one is unhappy. I feel u should let them go so they can find happiness, if u really loved someone u would want them to be happy whether it's w/ u or not! As much as it would hurt everyone knows u do eventually get past it.
2007-12-14 04:09:34 · update #2
First, my sarcastic answer:
It must be the sex. Sex with you is so amazing that he can't bring himself to part with it.
Now, my serious answer:
It is the fear of change. It is a person's inability to let go of what they had to pursue what they need. We all grow accustomed to living certain lives. The thought of having to rethink our whole existence is difficult, but very do-able. Eventually, he will get to the point when he realizes he is fighting a losing battle. Until then, you are going to have to suffer through all of the begging and emotional drama associated with his being unwilling to accept the change.
2007-12-14 04:31:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think for alot of people it is the amount of time they have spent in the marriage. For some people they have been married for like 15-20yrs and well that is like a quarter of our lifetime sp to just say goodbye to all of that time it is hard. It is not as hard for say someone that has been married for say a few months. Most people would rather try to rebuild what they have then just give it up. Marriage is full of everything it is a basic crazy rollercoaster. It is torture to just give up what you have worked hard to keep together for such a longtime.
It is called that the other person has a fear of being alone starting all over again trying to find someone else to love them and that they can live. For longterm marriages divorce can feel like having your mate pass away. You have forgotten how to date you can't think of being with someone other then you spouse that just left.
Many people grieve in divorce as in death of a loved one except for say the marriages that lasted only a couple of years.
God Bless and Best Wishes it will get better.
2007-12-14 12:28:49 · answer #2 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's about the security I had for over 14 years. Knowing exactly how he liked his dinner fixed or socks folded. Change for anyone is hard. When I got divorced I felt like my world was out of control. I didn't know what side of the bed to sleep on. His side of the closet was still empty, I even purchased a certain kind of chips, because that was always his special request when I would go to the store. When someone dies, you know it wasn't because they didn't love your or want to be with you. When someone leaves, you have failed. You made them fall out of love with you, you did something wrong. Facing the facts of rejection and failure along with the instability and uncertainty is one of the hardest things to get over.
2007-12-14 12:08:43 · answer #3 · answered by cyn s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all it starts with for better or worse... until death do you part... And Divorce is WAY too easy for me.. I mean you pay and POOF, you're divorced. It isn't hard, just a struggle because it never is civil. I would want to leave knowing I gave it my all, and if it still came down to him still wanting one, then fine, but don't you dare come to me and say you've been thinking.... yadda yadda yadda....
2007-12-14 12:06:34 · answer #4 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's an age old question. To some people it's just hard to cut the tie. Sorry for your pain.
2007-12-14 12:00:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because a marriage is the foundation for most people's lives. To watch it crumble is terribly painful.
2007-12-14 12:08:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You love someone, you pledge to stay by them through better or worse, and then they decide that they don't love you and they want out. Are you seriously unable to see why that would be so painful? If you can't, please don't get involved with anyone. You will only cause pain and suffering.
2007-12-14 11:59:07 · answer #7 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Because when most adults get married they are mature enough to take it seriously and make the mistake of assuming that the person they are marrying is also mature.
2007-12-14 12:12:18 · answer #8 · answered by troubleswife 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Because while we are still breathing there's hope for a change. It is proven that many couples that divorce, when asked, wished they would have tried harder to make it work...
2007-12-14 12:00:26 · answer #9 · answered by KingDavid 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Evil, some people have invested so MANY YEARS with someone!
How would you feel if you invested 15-20+ years of YOUR life to have your husband, for whom you have supported, laughed, cried and had children with, suddenley tell you one day, "I am leaving- its over"......a man that PROMISED to always be there???
Seriously ponder that.
You sound VERY young to me. Sorry.
2007-12-14 12:01:15 · answer #10 · answered by Violation Valerie X 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋