to meet and be happy,
to feel like being fulfilled in the joy of being,
with dark and white comes golden light,
to feel the dawning of the day the fall of the moon with love and not dismay,
you stopped time and made me me,
for only but a while,
alas you couldnt stay you fled and ran away,
for you felt the dawning of the day with utter dismay,
run,run,runaway could not stay for it was the dawning of the day you felt with utter dismay,
then you say "sorry, i could not stay.",
justice is served with honesty and truth and all we hold to be correct in society,
piffel i declare justice comes not today,
fly,fly , fly away this is the dawning of the day,
with hindsight black and white they fight purple trancends the day,
run, run, runaway to the night,
i shall stay in day.
2007-12-14 03:13:30 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
I love the dawning of the day part. But you have some that ryhme and some don't. I think it would be better, if it all ryhmed of didn't. Because right now it is kinda 'out of place' i believe those are the words I want to use. But I love how you compare it to the night, and day. Very, spiritual. =D Hopes that helped.
2007-12-14 03:25:45 · answer #1 · answered by Kitten 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has the ingredient of a poem.
You have to reorganize it by sharpening your thoughts.
In my opinion do not begin with "to".
Try to avoid duplication of words.
Good luck
2007-12-17 23:15:03 · answer #2 · answered by Ishan26 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋