I work in a high school as a teacher. One of the other teacher's in my school has been getting close w/ married men who are the parents of students. I have known this for a while and minded my business. Well in the past 6 months she has made advances towards my husband. She texts and calls him non-stop and she even has stopped by our house. I have heard from my friends that they have seen them out at bars together etc. while I couldn't go b/c I am pregnant. With this situation and others, my husband and I are now going through a separation. It has left me torn b/c my homelife and worklife are now connected and I don't want to be in either place. I have spoken to the co-worker but it has done no good. Ultimately my husband is his own person and I hold him accountable. So, the question is do I tell my boss? He notices that something is wrong and is a very fair and genuine person. I just don't want to cause more drama.
2007-12-14 03:12:11 · 39 answers · asked by *~Cam's Mommy ~* 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me add the my husband also volunteers in an afterschool program here and I have students that tell me they see them together all the time here after school. Once they said they saw him walking around carrying her on his back.
2007-12-14 03:19:46 · update #1
If you don't want to cause more drama then no. Since you and your husband are separating already. You are right that the one that caused the divorce is not your co-worker, it's your husband. I would recommend you change jobs. There are a high demand for high school teachers. If your boss ask you why you are leaving, let him know the truth. You don't have to hide anything.
2007-12-14 03:16:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband will get his own dues. Don't tell your boss unless/until your boss asks. Now, if you have a darned good reason, like your knowing these facts is affecting the work itself (not YOUR work; there's a difference), then you have to come forward. Otherwise you just may very well come across as bitter, a busybody, out to get revenge and a whole slew of other, not-so-in-your-favor things. Ultimately, everyone gets their just dues, even though sometimes you think some get away with murder their whole lives. Somehow, somewhere, it all comes full circle in the end for all of us.
What I would do, is talk to your boss about the fact that you are having some home trouble but that you're doing your best to not let this affect your productivity at work. This will show you are willing to deal with your problems; face the fact you have them and they might affect your daily life even though you want to work to prevent it; and finally, that you are open and communicative.
Good luck honey. Take care of that little bundle there.
2007-12-14 04:29:06 · answer #2 · answered by ShyeWolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I wouldn't tell the boss. I would just never mess with someone's work. And there has to be a reason your husband is messing with her in the first place. Maybe your marriage isn't stable to begin with? I'm sorry just I am just a firm believer in 1) handling things my own way (without involving boss) and 2) if a marriage is really strong, she would never have been involved on any level with your husband in the first place.
2007-12-14 03:35:11 · answer #3 · answered by nonameblonde 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes tell your boss, more in a confiding way, and focus on what has happened in your own situation so it doesn't seem like you are ratting someone out. This person who is doing this, is shameless and is causing a "hostile work environment" people sue for this type of thing. These things that are happening are not going to stop. She needs to be dismissed of her duties. Seems like she doesn't care who she hurts and is out for herself. I think you will feel some personal satisfaction that you are preventing more people from getting hurt. I can't believe women are out there like this, and behave in this manner. Seems like high school? bad joke but very very immature. You're right about your husband, he is accountable and I'm sorry that you are being hurt. Everyone gets hit on at some point while they are in a relationship, but its your moral fibers that allow you to be honorable, and that means honoring your vows, he would expect the same from you, if the situation was reversed
2007-12-14 03:19:05 · answer #4 · answered by Cute Stuff 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't involve your boss in this tragic situation. However, I do think that you really need someone to talk to after going through such a terrible ordeal. Now that you are pregnant, you need to be as emotionally calm as you can be. Talking to a therapist might help you go through this a little less painfully. Concentrate on the beautiful little baby that you are going to have and forget your lousy husband and that sleezy woman that he has chosen over you. God bless you and good luck.
2007-12-14 03:18:30 · answer #5 · answered by Ria 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say yes. IF you know your boss and feel that he can be more like an understanding friend in this situation so he can help you cope with this pain go ahead and tell him. But if you think that this will make things worse (like him thinking you are not a fit for the position at this time) then I would be cautious.
Bosses are human beings too and without being too personal they can help valuable employees to cope with difficult situations.
Good luck and I feel for you. Be strong for your new baby. Your ex has chosen his own destiny, you chose yours!
2007-12-14 03:19:12 · answer #6 · answered by Isabelle06 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unless she is doing something ethically wrong like changing grades or something due to this involvement don't say anything. If she is still professional with the students and you I would leave it alone and maybe ask for a transfer to another school to alleviate the stress of having to see her. Good luck.
2007-12-14 03:16:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I understand this right your co-worker, another teacher, stole your husband. I don't see what that has to do with your Boss. Simply tell him that you are having some personal problems but are working through them. Get another job. I don't know why you would want this lowlife lying cheat back, but it appears your marriage is over. You know of course, as soon as she gets him, she'll dump him.
2007-12-14 03:18:25 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She doesn't need to be fooling around with parents of students. Especially married ones. Other than that, throw the bum out and start anew. Good luck.
2007-12-14 03:38:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
by telling your boss you would be causing more drama but I would tell him and get her in trouble :) I do not know what you could do except talk to him and her about it and tell your boss that you do not think that it is fair for a co worker of yours to have the rights to find dates through other co workers husbands
2007-12-14 03:18:58 · answer #10 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋