Fav movie quote from a comedy?

Question

Whats yours?

Answer 1

Adam: What are your qualifications?
Betelgeuse: Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY... NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?

Answer 2

Hands down from Caddyshack the following; Bill Murray as Carl Spackler: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one -- big hitter, the Lama -- long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga...gunga -- gunga galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice. OR Same movie; same character: License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior firepower and superior intelligence. And that's all she wrote.

Answer 3

"There's nothing more frightening then driving with a live goddamn cougar next to you" - Talladega Nights

"Allow myself to introduce myself" - Austin Powers

"Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!" - Dumb and Dumber

"People know me ... I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany." - Anchorman

"I know a little German. He's sitting over there." - Top Secret

"Yeah, you know, a white guy. A moustache. About six-foot-three ... Awfully big moustache." - Naked Gun 2 1/2

"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley." - Airplane

"Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora." - Three Amigos

"We're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time." - Old School

"I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name." - Something About Mary

"I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?" - Meet the Parents

"First I get my name in the phone book and now I'm on your ***. You know, I'll bet more people see that than the phone book." - The Jerk

Answer 4

Wedding Crashers

Jeremy Grey: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?
[makes sputtering motorboat noise]
Jeremy Grey: You motorboatin son of a *****! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?

Answer 5

Blazzing Saddles!!! When trying to build a railroad track through the city of Rockridge,they might have run into quicksand and the deputy says he'll send some horses. The mayor(played by Harvey Korman) says "Horses,we cant afford no stinkin horses,send out a couple of *******" That line catches you of guard,but funny!!

Answer 6

"He just always sounded Jamaican in my Head, B." Scarface in Half-Baked.
Or, same movie, same character, "Turn around and ask me for 'Heffer w/ cheese', yo! Why you gotta make me feel inferior 'cause I'm on the grill, B? Damn!"
From The Jerk: "I was born a poor black child." -Steve Martin
From 200 Cigarettes: "These Matches are Disappointing Me!" --Janeane Garafolo
"Shake them ti**ies when you vote, bit**." Puffy on South Park
"Tom, you gotta come outta the closet, Omigah!" John Travolta on South Park.
"Phone's Ringin', Dude." and "We are nihilists, we care about nossing (Yah, nossing!)" from The Big Lebowski.
"I'm just doing my part to care for the Rainforest."--Mary Catherine Gallagher to a nun when she gets caught frenching a tree in Superstar.
This is another good one:
Mary Catherine: Oh my God! (as Will Ferrell as Jesus floats in the window)
Will Ferrell as Jesus: Oh my Me!
Tip of the Iceberg, my friends.

Answer 7

From the holiday classic -"A Christmas Story" -
"You'll shoot your eye out!" "Frah Gee Lay, must be Italian..."
"Oh Fudge" "I TRIPLE dog dare you!"

From Mae West (various films)
coat check girl says "Goodness! Look at those diamonds"
Mae replies "GOODNESS had NOTHING to do with it"
"Why don't ya come up and see me some time"

Answer 8

Line from Scary Movie 2 (James Woods)

"She wont eat, she wont talk. The child wont even let me touch her father" to which James Woods replies " Yes. . . . sometimes you have to give them candy"

Very un pc I know but thought this was hilarious James Woods playing this perverted priest and laugh every time I watch this!!

Answer 9

As you wish - The Princess Bride

Bloody Pirates! - POTC#1

Answer 10

From "Love, Actually" -- An aging former rock star is asked to give a public service announcment and says:
"Kids, don't buy drugs....Join a rock band and get them for free!"