Anyone else felt frustrated and "angry" with their newborn ?

Question

OK, so I feel like the worst mother in the world, but I just felt frustrated that my 3 week old daughter would not go to sleep and was unsettled and crying and I got "angry" and yelled at her (just asking, "whats wrong") ! I also handled her firmly (wrapped her tightly, don't panic everyone) as I was just so tired. My husband works night shift and isn't here to help me and its 2am ! Has anyone else felt like this, or is there something wrong with me ??

Answer 1

Everyone's done it at least once. The best thing for you and for your baby would be for you to walk away in these situations. It's better to walk away and let her scream than to accidentally hurt her. As long as she's fed, warm enough (not too warm) and dry, there's not much else you can do. Go take a hot shower for ten minutes and come back. That should help you calm down. One trick I have found that works great is to get big thick strips of velcro and stick the soft side on the baby's car seat bottom (where it'd hit the ground) and the other side on the top of your dryer. Turn on the dryer and let it go! It's more effective than the bouncy seats. I also just saw these cool "Zaky Hands" that are expensive, but they mimic mom's hands and kids think they're being held when they're not. Stick her in the swing with a zaky hand on her and she should be good to go!

Answer 2

It is normal. As well as post-paortum blues as stated above. Honestly I hope you dont feel any guilt for stepping outside for a few minute's, Im a single mother to a 4, 2 1/2 and 13 mo. old. It can be difficult and you need to take time for yourselve when you can or need it. Seek help if you feel it is serious, never take that chance but I would also hope that your family is not upset for being woken up by the baby, its normal and they should have expected that. Dont worry if someone else holds your baby and they calm down then it doesnt work for you, sometimes they have more ecperience and sometimes your baby can pick up on your moods. Just remember take time for yourself , if you frustrated then step away even just to another room. It will get better i promise. Almost all new mothers go through something similar where you feel helpless and clueless to what to do. try talking to your mom or family and ask for advice it might also let them be aware that you need a little more help than you are recieveing. I hope this helps and you will do get, you took the first step by asking for advice. that in itself tells us you are trying your best. keephe good work, you'll be a terrific mommy. :) P.S. sorry for all the typo's gotta head to work. and remember you will do great, and it is OK to cry. Your hormones are going crazy right now as well.

Answer 3

I'm sure every mom of a newborn gets frustrated at some point because you need sleep to survive!
But don't worry she'll grow out of it soon enough. You screaming at her or something will just upset her more. Be patient and it'll pay off =) Why don't you try to get some shut eye in the day while baby is napping? Might help.?

Answer 4

Yes, this happened to me too. In a moment of weakness I talked a little 'harshly' to my boy. If you feel you can't handle it though, you need to get some help... this could also be a form of post partum depression, and at any thought of hurting your baby go see a doctor for help.

I know you feel bad, but you're not the first one who has done this. I punched a hole in a door, because I got so frustrated. My hubby can't help either (most of the time) so I'm pretty much alone atm.

If you feel you can't handle it, just walk out of the room for five minutes, gather yourself and then go back. As long as she's safely in her crib, fed and changed it's okay. I'm not saying leave her to scream her head off, but you do need to just get yourself together again.

Perhaps ask someone to come over to help every once in a while so you can get some extra rest. You can't do it all alone, all the time.

Answer 5

Just wanted to add encouragement too! You sound like a great mom for admitting how you feel and asking for help! Hang in there sweety! You can do this!

To answer your question, Yes, it's normal I think! I was frustrated the other night with my 2 week old and kept saying, "What do you want, what's the issue? Oh my god, I can't do this!!" But I did, and we fell asleep and woke up and did it all over again.....

Answer 6

Well, it's normal to feel tired and frustrated, you've been through a lot and you're sleep deprived.

Now, she's just a little baby, completely dependent of you. Next time, leave her safe in her crib for 1 minute, go outside the room and yell at something else. Then come back to your baby and try to comfort her. Babies pick up the mood of their caregivers, if you're stress she's gonna be stress too.

Hang in there, we've all been through this.

Answer 7

I think everyone else has pretty much answered the question, so I will just add my encouragement. Yes, of course I have felt that way. It is so frustrating at times. I have definately done the very firm swaddle in the middle of the night. Is there anyone around you that you could have stay with you a couple of nights and let you catch up on sleep a little? It will get better. You are a good mom who is dealing with hormone shifts and major lack of sleep so don't be to hard on yourself. I still have have those nights from time to time, but as they get older you are more used to it and it is easier to deal with it. Just try not to make a habit of letting your frustration boil over at the baby. We had a bad night a few nights ago, and as I was telling my baby that she needed to shush and go to sleep, she looks up and smiles at me. Sometimes you just can't help but smile in the midst of a lot of frusration.

Answer 8

I have done the same thing during the night as well and then I feel horrible!! I always notice that if I don't go to bed when the baby does I get extremely tired by the time he's ready to get up and eat again.. and I might get upset and frustrated like you said. BUT when he goes to sleep I will make myself at least lay down and rest and that never happens even if he is screaming his lungs out. Try going to sleep or at least resting whenever the baby is asleep. Hopefully, your husband will understand that the house might not get cleaned every single day or whatever so that you can try and catch up on your sleep! Good luck, its tough.. but it will GET BETTER!! :o)

Answer 9

yes it's normal!! i have three and felt like that every day when they were newborns!! the good news is.........you didn't act on your frustration physically. swaddling a newborn is great to soothe them (when you say you handled her firmly, i'm assuming that's what you meant). i have also been known to put a screaming newborn safely in a crib and walk away to "cool my jets". i don't know if i ever yelled at them......i don't remember yelling, but i was damn frusterated when i was talking to them. i certainly have said very firmly "enough is enough, time to sleep" or something like that.

it's normal to be frustrated, this is a very frustrating time in your life and you are very tired. if you've had enough because she has been burped, changed, fed and is still crying........put her in her crib, walk away and put a pillow over your ears for 5 minutes. seriously....time it. after 5 minutes you will be calm, she will exhausted and you will be ready to start again.

you are not the worst mother in the world. you are one of millions of frustrated and sleep deprived mothers of newborns. we have all felt like that at one time or another. those who said they haven't felt this way are flat out lying. it gets easier..........it doesn't last long!

Answer 10

I remember the first time I felt that way with my first. I felt awful for being soooo frustrated with him as he was only three days old. I thought to myself, if I can't get through three days w/o feeling this way, what does this mean? I made sure he was changed, fed, etc and put him in his swing. Then I walked onto my porch for a moment and just sat there with my head in my hands and cried. Then I went in for round two. What I've learned since then is that babies certainly do feel your stress which makes it worse if you don't take the time to chill out when you need to. I hate to leave my baby crying, but it's better for both of us if I take a couple minutes and let him cry. It takes less time to get him calmed down when I'm calm. If I son't take the time to calm down, then it could be all night and we'll both be sleep deprived to the max. With experience, I've had three, you'll also be better at knowing what to do to clam your fussy baby which will make things easier. Each baby is different and you just need to learn what works for her and you will over time. I do suggest that in the future when you feel the need to yell/vent, do it in another room. Tht's what I do when I need to and it works to help release so of the frustration. My kids are 9, 2 1/2 and 2 months and I still have to do it (yell in another room) with all of them from time to time. I'm just careful with my words as to not let them here me ever call them a name. I just say that I'm frustrated with---for doing --- blah blah blah. This basically applies to my older two. It's just that even when venting, I make a clear distinction between their behavior and them as a whole. I hope this helps!