How do you Tell your Husband I want the Divorce? With out getting messy, for the little one..?

Question

I have bean having problems with my husband for a while now, and am tired of him getting home at midnight and for me to know that he gets out of work around 6pm. I got ready for a divorce am ready for it as well. By the difference of Religion he dosen't belive on fixing things because of a Child together, but in my principals I do. But am tired and don't want to go further with this person, am ready to move on. He is agressive and am affraid of his reaccion, How Do I tell him I want the Divorce?
Thanks For ur help.
An unhappy Wife, soon to be single mom...

Answer 1

Just tell him you need to move on, and want a divorce, and you

are not happy. You may want to tell him with a third trusted party

there, that will intercede if he gets aggressive.

Answer 2

First of all, I'm so sorry you're in this position. If he is not willing to do marriage counseling and doesn't want to do his part in making the relationship work, then you have the right to divorce. Do you have a lawyer yet? If not, I strongly suggest getting one asap--even before you tell you hubby the news. Why? Because they can give you invaluable tips. For instance I know that in the state where I live, if I file for divorce, a restraining order will automatically be put on my soon-to-be ex. He can't come near me, the kids, or the house. Why? Becuase he could try to hurt me, kidnap the kids, and break things in the house. The great thing is you get to have custody of your kids until the final verdict is decided in court. But I don't know what the rules are in your state because every state is different. So the best advice I can give you is to hire a lawyer. They will be able to tell you everything you need to know. The last thing I would suggest is to make sure you surround yourself with friends and family. Maybe consider seeing a counselor, as well. Since this will be a difficult time for you, you want to make sure you stay as sane and peaceful as you possibly can. Good luck, hun.

Answer 3

I am sorry to hear that. You must be going through a lot right now. No divorce is 'clean'. It will always be a bit messy, even the most agreeable divorces will be hard. Some things you need to think about is your child...
Do you love your husband? Do you think it may work out? Do the good outweigh the bad? What is the best way to go about a divorce with a child? Can you both go to counseling together to try to work things out?
And yet again there is a time when a woman just is sick of arguing anymore. When a wife argues -- she still cares. When she doesn't she is done. At least that is what I have seen.
Do you still love him? Do you respect each other?
First, you need to sit down with your husband when your daughter is not around and have a heart to heart... Tell him about the 'D' idea and ask him what he has been doing late at night. He owes you at least that. Don't you think? Be prepared for the worst. Expect the worst.
A close friend confided in me about his fiance and she was calling another man several times a day. He confronted her and she said they were just friends... It ended up she was having an affair with this man in their own house probably in my friends bed!
Sorry, I see red flags in your scenario.
Once the storm hits -- the calm one hopefully for you...
Start separating yourself from him. Get your own account so that you can prepare to be on your own. Detatch yourself from your joint accounts. Figuring out your bills -- what is in your name, and what is in his...
HIRE A LAWYER-- if you can. Talk, talk, talk to friends and family. You are going to need all the help you can get.
You are probably going to have a lot of emotions running through your mind... but know that you will and ARE going to have better times... maybe not today, tommorow, but sometime in the near future.
A relationship is based on essentials -- trust, love, communication, and committment. How many of these do you and your husband have?
Good luck. I bet it is very hard for you during the Christmas time. Keep your daughter in mind, ok. It is going to be a hard battle -- but don't stay in a marriage if you don't love him.

Answer 4

If you feel like he may become aggressive when you break the news then have a family member (mainly male) next to you or in another room watching your child. Just sit him down and tell him that you are not happy and you want to be able to have happiness. Tell him you plan to file for divorce and would like for him to be reasonable. As long as you do it in a calming manner, you have done it without a mess, but there is no promise he will not let it get messy. Your main focus is now the child. Consult a lawyer and start the filing process. Once that is on order, start by seeing about child custody and where it stands. Just keep your head up. You have a long journey ahead of you but you can do it with love and support around you. Best Wishes and Happy Holidays

Answer 5

There is absolutely no way for the divorce not to be a life-altering, painful experience for your child. There is also no way for continuing in a bad marriage with increasing arguments between the parents not to be a life-altering, painful experience for your child. So, having decided that the divorce is the lesser of two evils, you need to first consult a lawyer. However, you could try what my friend did and it worked. Tell your husband that you can spend a little money now on a marriage counselor or you could spend a whole lot of money on a divorce, choice is his.

Answer 6

Have you told him you want a divorce? Your question is kind of vague. sounds like you want to stay married because of a child and religious reasons and he doesn't. but then you ask how do I tell him. Just say it . He may be relieved to hear you say it. But if you are afraid you can file and coordinate with the deputies a safe time for him to be served , Even if you're at home with him when he gets served you will have the protection of the deputies serving him. your lawyer can have him removed from the home at the time papers are served

Answer 7

Divorce hurts, no matter how hard you try not for it to... And trust me, even when you are the one wanting out, it will still hurt you too! I did everything I could to make it smooth... The one thing I forgot was that I couldn't change the way he was while married, what made me think that I could change the divorce?? Make sure you are prepared for a tornado & hope for the best after the destruction is left for you to clean up!

Answer 8

Have someone follow him. Get pictures of what he is doing. Get divorce papers. Leave a copy of the picture and the papers for him and leave while he is out. You have all day while he is at work, and all evening while he is out doing whatever (whoever) it is that he is doing. Good luck.

PS-Being a single Mom is not that bad. You will be happier alone than with a cad like him.

Answer 9

Go to a lawyer and get as much information regarding your rights, child custody, etc. as you can before you leave. I'm afraid there is no way you can avoid it getting messy since it is clear he will not react well to it. If he is aggressive and you are afraid you may want to have someone with you to make sure he doesn't hurt you or try and take your son and leave.

Answer 10

My ex wife was Bipolar, was not taking her medicines and refused to get help or anything. She went to work one day, as soon as I left, I got the moving van and moved out. I left her a note telling her that she could contact me through my attorney or by e-mail. After about 2 weeks, I saw my ex neighbor and he said that she became violent and tore the house up. I am glad I got all my stuff out and did it the way I did. If he is aggressive I would suggest something like I did, for you and your child's safety. Need to chat e-mail me through my contact info and I will be glad to help you out.

Answer 11

leave on day and write him a letter but make sure that he doesn't know where you would be at because if he is agressive then he might turn around and try to do something stupid to you and you don't want you baby to see that so i think that will be the best thing to do or leave when you have some one else that can protect you from him like your mom you know guys won';t do stupid things when your mother is around.