Anyone Else Suffering From Post Partum Depression?

Question

I have a baby (my first) who will be two months old December 18. I remember when I was pregnant thinking "how can anyone get post-partum depression? I will be so happy when the baby comes" And I was happy when the baby came. But since then we've had to move (not an easy thing to do in winter with a newborn) and my car has broke down so I'm stuck here at the new place with no transportation. My husband has been working all day and is still moving stuff from the old place which leaves me alone a lot. I've been really moody and most nights end with us fighting and me sleeping alone in my room with the baby and him on the couch. It's a downward spiral. On one hand, yes i'm moody/sad/angry and depressed for a number of reasons. On the other hand, I feel like a single mother despite the fact that I'm with my husband. He does not understand what it's like and is not very supportive. What should I do?If not for my baby I think I'd kill myself right now. She's the only thing worth living for.

Unfortunately my mom died a few years ago. She was only 47 years old. I really don't have anyone to talk to about this. My husband tells me he hates coming home to such a "downer" and that I'm being a real b-itch these days. I tell him I probably wouldn't be such a downer and a b-itch if he'd be around more! I'm seriously beginning to see why there are so many single moms out there. If your alone as much as I am, you feel single anyways. I wish I had the money to fix my car. I think that would help a lot. I would be alone AND stranded. Arrgh! I really hope things get better or I'll just move out with the baby and he won't have to worry about coming home to a "downer" and a bit-ch.

Answer 1

I went through that too, and it was BAD. I know exactly where you're at right now. First I want to say, I know you're frustrated with your husband, but keep in mind that he DOES not and CAN not understand what's going on with you right now, since he's not in your shoes. However, do make a point of letting him know what you need from him, whether that's him helping out more at home or just getting you out of the house for the evening. You're already in a rough situation, so try to keep things in focus and don't be mad at him for not understanding what he hasn't gone through himself.

Also, I'd really recommend getting to know people where you live. Go to storytime at the library, or find a new church, or something where you can just hang out, chat with other moms, etc. Having other people who actually understand all these little things that just overwhelm a new mom will really make a difference.

Also, please make sure you talk to your doctor about this when you take yourself or the baby for a checkup. Your doctor is one person who definitely should understand this, and he or she can really monitor whether or not you're doing ok.

Finally, just hang in there. The first year is hard, hard, hard, but it doesn't last forever and eventually gets replaced with some real joy and fun. Your baby is going to be the happiest thing in your life, it just takes time to let go of your old life and transition into the new one.

PS- Try sleeping together even if you're grumpy and can't stand the sight of him. Grouchiness wears off and eventually you want a cuddle.

Answer 2

I was in a very similar situation when I had my daughter. We moved to a house 2 months before our daughter was born and it was pretty far from all my friends. It's a suburban area and I don't know how to drive so I'm basically stuck in the house all day. I had PPD for about 3 weeks before I finally decided I needed to get some help. I actually spoke to my daughter's pediatrician at one of her check ups and also went online to find support groups and I got the phone number for a hotline I could call when I was feeling really bad. My doctor gave me a perscription which helped a lot. I think you should go to the doctor and I think your husband is being really ridiculous. Do you think if you gave him some info to read on PPD it might make him understand or maybe if you decide to go to the doctor they can explain it to him in hopes he will be more understanding. Because right now you really need all the support you can get. Also if you can take some time for you you have to! You gotta find some time to do things you enjoy and try to get outside more (this is something that can really help when you are depressed). Good luck and know that as your hormones die down you will probably start to feel better and there is help out there, look for support groups and crisis hotlines in your community! Good luck, you're doing a great job with your baby and being a mom. Keep up the good work!

Answer 3

I have been suffering from post partum depression for the past one year when I gave birth to a baby boy. I couldn't stop thinking about how my husband loves him more than me and how things might be better if he wasn't born at all. Thus, I stayed away from him because I knew that I might do something I will regret for the rest of my life.

Almost instantly I went to a therapist and convince them that I need help. Among other things, I've tried herbal supplements and other book to treat depression but nothing works like the Depression Free Method. So now I'm proud to say I'm one of the happiest mother in the world. My husband loves us both very much and I thank the Lord for the blessing he gave us.

Depression Free Method?

Answer 4

I understand exactly what you're going through. I suffered from post partum depression for several months to a year or so after my son was born. We were living with my in-laws, and I really dislike my mother in law. Plus my car also broke down shortly after my youngest was born, so not only was I stuck at home with a new-born and a 4 year old, but we lived in the country. So even if it had been warm enough for me to walk, I wouldn't have been able to walk anywhere. To make matters worse my husband worked 45 minutes away all weekend long, and didn't come home between shifts because he couldn't drive. From thursday to Sunday he was gone, sometimes until Monday. It was very difficult for me, and I spent a lot of time crying, feeling lost and generally miserable. Eventually things changed and we were better off, but meanwhile I had to take medicine for depression. I suggest talking to your doctor soon, the medicine probably saved my life. I took Lexapro, but I'd recommend welbutrin instead. It has less side effects. I've taken them both. When the baby is asleep and your husband is home, sit down and talk to him about how you're feeling. If he loves you he should understand. Do you have any family you can talk to? My mom was a big help, except that she was 400 miles away. Best of luck, I've been in your shoes and I'll be praying for you.

Answer 5

omg you sound like me! I was the SAME way! I thought the same thing too "how can people get post partum.. blah"
I even judged them! My car broke down when we moved 3 mo before i had my son and we still dont have a new one for me so I am alway home aloe now with nothing to do. My son was also colic and has Reflux so I was always on edge litening to him cry and feeling awful I couldnt help him. Lots of people stopped talking to me because when theyd call all they heard was him crying and prob didnt want to listen to it.My boyfriend works ALL day 4:30 am till 5:30pm 5 days a week the 8am to 8 pm 2 days a week..so trust me i feel you!!!!!I also feel like a single mother and feels like he just expects me to do everything. My son is 3 months old and my boyfriend has changed 2 diapers. I cant believe how similar it is! but honestly that post partum will go away very soon. you will start to see things totally differently. See if you can find a mothers supporting mothers group. you dont have to go to some but you get calls from expeirence moms for advice. Its great and help me alot. If you feel as thou its that bad contact your doctor for some medication.
Good luck and i hope all goes well. Please feel free to contact me if you need anything.

Answer 6

You need to call your doctor and get some help. Is there anyway that you can take your husband to work, or is there a bus system that he can take to work so you can have the car? My husband and I lost a baby girl last year at 21 weeks and I was put on Zoloft and it helped immensely with the PPD. Unfortunately my husband lost his job in June and has been unable to find anything so we have no health insurance and I have not been able to afford to get the Zoloft and I have noticed a huge difference. I am really short-tempered, irritable, and basically unhappy and about to kick my husband out so I know I need to get back on them. It is a daily struggle, and if it wasn't for my son I would just leave.

Answer 7

You need to go see a doctor, I know hard because you don't have any transportation but you need to be seen for you sake and your babies. I got ppd a little with both my kids. I to felt like a single mother, my husband was in the Navy.

Good Luck and I hope you start to feel better!

Answer 8

I'm going through it too, on top of life throwing us a ton of curveballs (FIL passed away, van broke down, car died completely, hubby working non stop, etc...) Contact your doctor or pediatrician and ask them about counseling for PPD. In my area we have counselors that will come to your house because they understand how hard is to get out when you have the baby.

2nd thing, get a babysitter for a couple hours and go out with hubby, either for dinner, a drive or something you two used to do together before the baby. No fighting allowed, go out and relax together.

3rd - get hubby to watch the baby for an hour or two while you go out yourself. My first real break came when I was able to go grocery shopping without the baby. I was still getting something done for the house but I was also getting some me time.

4th - don't mistake PPD for sleep deprivation. A lot of the issues I was having was I wasn't getting enough sleep. Let the house go except for bare essentials and sleep when baby sleeps. At least lay down with her and snuggle while she sleeps. The rest will do you wonders.

5th - communicate with hubby without arguing. Ask him for some time to talk. Don't make accusations but tell him how you are feeling. Don't lay blame at his feet but ask if there is anyway he can help out a bit more (take on some of the house hold chores, watch the baby for an hour or two once a week, do one of the night time feedings if you are bottle feeding). Apologize for your behaviour, let him know that you know you are not acting normally due to being overwhelmed. Listen to him as well, sounds like he is overwhelmed as well with the move, work, you and the baby, etc... You need to work out ways to make things easier for the both of you. Say if he agrees to help more around the house, watch the baby once in a while then you agree to let him go out and have fun with the boys one night a week or have a night that is just his. Compromise is the name of the game here.

Lastly, remember this is temporary. You are still in the 100 day blur that happens when a baby is born. Everything is different and new and overwhelming. Hang in there because it does get better. Baby develops a routine that you can work around, baby starts sleeping longer at night, you start being able to put baby down and she can amuse herself while you take care of small things (a playmat with lights, mirror, music and toys was my godsend). Develop your own routine once baby has established hers.

Breathe, relax and then keep plugging away. Before you know it you'll find your new groove as a Mommy, it just takes time and patience.

Answer 9

go to ur doctor and he can help u. some women have it, and it can get really bad so plz do talk to ur doctor.he can give u something that will help u through it. i hope everything works out

Answer 10

you need to go see your doctor. There is help for you , so many women suffer with this ,Please go see your doctor, they will help you.

Good Luck , an please e-mail if you ever want to just chat.