what do u think nof my essay help changing?

Question

How would you feel of you were in a public place with teenager that had committed a serious crime. Who at any moment could pull out a knife an kill you, or pull into a dark corner and rape you, but they were only tried in juvenile court. Uncomfortable right? Wouldn’t you feel much better if teenagers that committed serious crimes were tried as adults in cases like murder, sexual harassment and hate crimes. Would you want them to get off easy. Young offenders think that they can get off easy because they are eighteen or younger and would only be tried a juvenile delinquent. Right now the California law says that teens between the age’s of fourteen to eighteen can be tried as adults but it is up to the judge and/or attorney.
If teens are surrounded by crimes they are most likely to commit crimes themselves and participate it. Statistics show that teens growing up in home or area with violence they will grow up and become violent most of the time. Lets say Bobby gets a hold of gun and

and he’s 15 he goes a killing spree kills 5 people. He could be tried as an adult but it is up to the judge or attorney.


Until recently teens could get off the hook very easily. When they hit 25 there record was erased and they got a clean slate.
Last but not least teens who commit crimes will most likely commit again because “they (teens) can get away with breaking the law indefinitely with hardly a risk of swift, sure and stern punishment.”-An Emerging consensus to get tough on violent juveniles. Homicide arrests have tripled for teens between the ages of 14 and17.
This is why trying teens as adults should be continued for serious crimes

Answer 1

If this is an essay answer, stop asking questions. Rephrase these into statements. It is okay to ask a question at the beginning, but you go too far.

Next, I believe you are over generalizing a bit. The tone of your essay is clear; violent teens should be treated more harshly. However, I think you could include in your answer some of the reasons why children are treated like children in the courts. I think that you will find that there are far more one time offenders in the courts than violent offenders. Like KS (where I live) many states do not consider juvenile cases to be true criminal cases. They are in fact civil cases. The offender is not given the same rights as an adult. That is unless they are tried as an adult. So unless we as a society are ready to give children their full rights (including jury trials), then we will continue to start small (juvenile court) and then move to the big time.

Finally, don't use cliches. If your last paragraph is you last paragraph, the say so. Do not say "last but not least". Say, "finally" or "in conclusion" or something else. It is perfectly fine to arrange your paragraphs in a list, like first, second, third and so on. Then complete your essay with a solid conclusion.

Good luck

Answer 2

Your facts are inaccurate. Most states have laws that call for teenagers to be tried as adults in serious matters such as rape and murder. 18 is cinsidered the legal age for purposes of criminal prosecution, but murder and other violent crimes have special treatments. Age 25 does not expunge records, and in fact, juvenile records are not expunged. Re-read your essay to be sure you are using complete sentnces and punctuating properly. In the first sentence, for instance, you use the word teenager without the article a. It should read "with a teenager", not "with teenager". The second sentence is really a continuation of the first. Who, in this case extends the first sentence. It does not start a new thought.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

You have several spelling mistakes, left out words and the lack of proper punctuation...
You also need to put it in proper paragraphs.

you are asking too many questions and not answering them or supporting them...much more detail is needed.....

Answer 5

I think it's good but you have to proof read. You should get someone else to do it cause sometimes we tend to overlook our mistakes when we write. Hope i helped.