January Diet?

Question

Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste.
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

Nativity, its anything you want it to be!

Answer 1

That is so cute, thanks so much!
A star for you!

Answer 2

Very cute and very true for binge eaters. I don't seem to lose or gain anymore, just eat what I want and when I want it. Had a nice piece of German Choco Cake last pm at 10, tasted yummy. I do a bunch of sitting now and the4 muscle factor is all but gone guess it will be fine as long as my mind and my hands and eyes are in tact. I have nice kids that are more than willing to help with the heavy stuff on occasion. I have a neighbor that helps me haul in groc stashes. Mighty nice to be old and OK.

Answer 3

That is a lovely little poem. Clever you.
Oh and does it hit the nail on the head for I bet at least 90% of us.

'I love food and used to be oh so trim.
What happened. I don't know what.
This plump grandma who used to be slim
I tried using milk with the skim
Then lost the plot
Double me is what I got.

Obviously I can't write poems. But I tried.

Answer 4

You are so very very clever and oh! so right - I only have to look at a cookie and I gain 10 lbs. But life is really too short, so continue wearing your hubbies shirts and be thankful that they do at least fit you. (I do not have a hubby - too bad so sad)! CJ

Answer 5

I thought it was January for the last 10 years.

Answer 6

weightwatchers exchange into solid for me for lengthy term yet once you opt to lose some weight directly or supply your self a solid headstart try the chemical weight loss plan, (information are on the coronary heart fm website)(try googling coronary heart fm chemical), i did it and lost a stone in 2 weeks, yet you ought to be incredibly careful and consume nicely after the two weeks or you will pile all of it returned on returned.

Answer 7

yeah I have a January diet every year and it lasts oh about one week. I guess this is the year to change those bad eating habits.......or not.

Answer 8

Ha Ha Fantastic.

Answer 9

Eat, eat and be merry its only once a year.

Answer 10

So true! Chuckles!

Answer 11

I printed off several copies and emailed many more . thanks so much.