Anyone else feel as if it will NEVER happen?

Question

I am feeling selfish and jealous today.
I hear of all these women complaining about miscarriages (early ones) and how they never feel like its going to happen blah blah blah
Well what about the women who NEVER get pregnant in the first place?! Sometimes I wish I would just get pregnant and have a miscarriage JUST so I would know its possible at least. Sure, I'd be devistated but I would have a lot of hope in the future about it.. you know?

I dunno, I just feel like I'll never see a positive pregnancy test. Everyone gets pregnant around me and I'm barren!

I'm 25 years old, PCOS and have been TTC for 4 years with absolutely no luck what-so-ever. It gets frustrating!
My sister in law had twins last month she has 4 kids now - naturally
My best friend had her #3 child this month - natural..
My other best friend had her #1 child in September - NATURAL.

So everyone is at home with their newborn babies and here I am upset as hell :(

I would never wish a miscarriage on myself or anyone else. I was just saying it figuratively. I know I would be devistated if it were to happen to me and Im sure it must really really suck to get a BFP and lose the baby within a week. That's got to be very hard..

but sometimes I just get frustrated with the whole TTC thing. I feel like its all just wasted efforts because all I get from it is a lot of heartache, negative tests, and then my period again.

Answer 1

I know how you feel. I am not giving up yet. Many TTC'ers are stressed over the TWW, wondering if this symptom is normal or could it be a sign of pregnancy. I don't really stress over that. What stresses me out is seeing people around me getting pregnant while I am here TTC. I totally want to be shopping for baby clothes, decorating the nursery, picking out a name. I am 32, and wish I started TTC sooner now that I learned that it takes time.

Every time I see pregnant women or newborns, I wonder when will I be in that position? Though I am happy for my friends who are pregnant or gave birth, every time I buy a baby shower gift, I wish I was shopping for my own. It's hard to admit, but I guess I do get jealous, but it's normal to feel jealous. The hard part is hiding the jealousy. We are women and our natural instinct is to want to have babies.

I know what you mean about wishing you would just get pregnant and have a miscarriage. A miscarriage would just be devastating, but at the same time, at least we would know that it's possible that we can get pregnant. I thought about that myself, so it's actually funny that you mentioned.

Another thing I find hard, at least, for me, is any impact this TTC can have on my relationship with my husband. My husband wants a baby as well, but I try not to stress him out with the accompanying feelings during this process (the frustration, disappointment, anguish, etc that I feel) I keep it to myself and not complain to him about my frustration. So, that why I vent here. I don't think men understand or feel the same way that we do about getting pregnant, and they are not the ones carrying the fetus to term.

Enough of my venting, but know that you are not alone. Good luck!

Answer 2

First off, so sorry for your loss. Back in Sept. I had some weird thing happen to me, I was spotting for 8 days, about 5 weeks preg. I thought, and 3 pos. HPT tests. When I went to take a blood test 2 days later, it was neg. I started bleeding the same day, some doctors said it could have been chemical, some said, it was just false pos. Anyway, my husband and I had been trying for a while, like 9 months- It seems like forever I know. It seemed everyone around me was pregnant and I couldn't understand why it was so difficult for me. A few months later, and here I am 8 weeks pregnant! It will happen! Especially since you already have awesome blessings. I'm still scared like eveyday, that something will go wrong, but things happen when they happen for a reason. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Hey , its ok to feel jealous I have pcos also and ttc#1 for 4 years, I am 20 and I just have been diagnois with pcos April of this yeah, I no the feeling of wanting to have a baby so bad, everyone around me is having a baby also, I also feel like giving up but I no some day the miracle would come, me and my fiance is making threw this battle, there are lots of fertility pills out there, ask your dr about metformin its a good pill it helps me out alot with my symptoms

Answer 4

Baby girl, I also am a PCOSer I tried for years but nothing. Clomid finally helped me conceive my daughter now at 28 my daughters 4 months and just found out I did it all by myself. I feel your pain I used to feel the same way. My little sister would get knocked up with the drop of the hat by every jerk that came along. Sometimes it just takes time. I don't think your being mean or selfish. Just keep trying.

Answer 5

I understand how your feeling, im 22 and have PCOS too. me and my fiance have only been trying for a year now, we are starting to get abit worried, have you been for tests or just trying naturally at the moment?
I know people who have were trying for about 5-6 years, and eventually they concieved. Think with some women it just takes time.
I get upset when i see people all around me who dont plan it and they just get caught with a baby, i sometimes get abit jealous, but i just keep the thought that one day it will happen.

Just hang in there, there are always ways of getting help with it

Answer 6

What is worse never carrying a baby, or carrying a baby round getting the bond then having it all ripped away from you.

DO NOT WISH A MISCARRIAGE ON YOURSELF! your attitude toward the woman that have had miscarriage sucks. Its a horrible thing to go through.

I understand that it is upsetting and youa re getting frustrated... and im sure you will be a fantastic mum because you want a child to care for and nurture for the rest of your life so much. There are other ways to become a parent.

Get yourself checked out, there are certain hormone tablets someone suffering with PCOS can take. if not in your circumstance go to a fertility specialist and seek advice... they are always solutions.

Answer 7

Hun, I feel as if we are in the same boat. I am sorry to hear you are struggling with infertility.

I am 19 years old will be 20 in June, and my husband is 28, and he will be 29 in February.

We have been trying for a baby for 17 months now!

We have both been checked for "infertility" issues, and we were cleared on it. I am fine, and so is he.

So here me and my husband are fertile and totally capable of having a baby.. but yet we can't! Talk about a huge damper on life.. and to top the cake, I work as a nurse at an OB/GYN office, so lucky me I get to look at pregnant women everyday and secretly say to myself "I wish it were me.."

My best friend from elementary school just gave birth on Novemeber 19th, to her first son. He was born out of wed-lock, and she lives at home with mommy and daddy!

Although I am happy for her, and any other woman who gets pregnant, I also can never help but to feel "jealous" and "heartbroken" too. I always begin thinking negative thoughts such as "why was it them, and not me?" "what makes them so damn special?" and so on.

And then of course you hear all of these sad stories of mothers and fathers killing their babies.. or having abortions done. And then you feel 10 times more depressed, because that baby that they took life from, could have been then baby you loved and cherished!

I agree and feel the same as you do 110%!

It is so hard, and so frusturating, and aggrevating, and it feels as if motherhood is an eternity away from you.

But I have come to understand. When you are no longer scared of it NOT happening.. that is when it will happened.

Getting pregnant has nothing to do with timing, or having the perfect health conditions or any other reason, its not even about luck. It's all about faith!

I am definately not an extremely "religious" person, but I do have faith in God, and I do believe that it WILL happened eventually. And to be honest I think that is the ONLY thing that is keeping me going with it all.

Us TTC ladies are allowed to have our bad days.. and if people don't understand where we are coming from or understand why we feel the way we do on certain things. God bless them, because they will never understand the hurt and let down we go through EVERY month!

I would never wish infertility on my worse enemey, simply because it is the worse emotional, physical, and mental struggle I have ever had to face.

But please keep the faith, and keep reassuring yourself that it will happened. And try not to be scared so much of it not happening anymore.

If you EVER need to talk about anything involving trying to get pregnant, please do not hesitate to e-mail me at [e-mail].

I wish you so much luck with TTC, and LOTS AND LOTS of baby dust! May you have your little bundle of joy soon!!

Take care and happy holidays!

P.S.- please do not let anyone bring you down, on how you feel! You are allowed to feel the way you want to, and sometimes when it comes to what we are going through, we can not help but think "negative" thoughts! We just have to try to keep the faith, and move on to the next cycle and hope it happeneds then.

Remember- Hoping is wishing for something to come true.. but having faith is BELIEVING THAT IT WILL COME TRUE!

-Brittany

Answer 8

your not being mean, your just feeling desperation, i know exactly how you feel about the miscariage thing, of course your not wishing one or anything even logical like that, but it would be sort of a relief just to know that it is possible to concieve, i like you have not even had a hint of a bfp and i do wonder if its worth going on or am we just wasting time and emotions on something thats just not possible.

weve gotta just plod and try to be hopeful, good luck to you xx

Answer 9

I can understand where you are coming from, every1 around me seems to falling pregnant, some of my friends who dont really want to start a family yet seem to be falling pregnant. then there is me with my partner who have been together for 7 years and really want to start a family and its just not happening - does get depressing, i guess all we can do is keep trying :-(

Answer 10

I was afraid to post a question like this because I felt like I was the only one who felt like this. I know EXACTLY how you feel...I'm begining to feel like its impossible for me. =(