I looked at my husbands computer and on his external drive he has a bunch of porn on it.. and he labeled the file really good stuff. i was not too offended that he had it, because i know he watchs it, ( so he has told me) but he only watches it when i am not around.. so i feel like it is behind my back, most men would say they like watching it and most people would agree its okay if they can seperate that from reality on looks, personality and persentation of a person.. however my hubby seems to say and do everything he sees on the movies.. he never told me he had the porn on the computer, but after all it was his computer he had with him on his deployment to iraq.. should i be upset or not ? i know it if it was me i'd of deleted it off the computer. Not only was there porn but also video clips and pictures of "hot" girls in all sorts of poses. my pictures where also on his computer, but they werent in the section labeled " really good stuff". how would you all react ?
2007-12-13 20:18:55 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can understand why you are mad, but if you knew that he watched it, why are you mad about it being in the computer? Some guys feel ashamed to watch porn and/or to "jerk off"...he isn't going to do it in front of you unless you ask him. ; )...and some guys won't even do that. Even if he wasn't watching the porn, he probably jerks off in the shower, or other times when you aren't around. If you confront him about it, you are only going to embarrass him. Can you tell him in a way that doesn't?
2007-12-13 20:27:27 · answer #1 · answered by forestbythesea 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-18 16:54:04 · answer #2 · answered by Laraine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pregnancy is a beautiful experience. The first thing that you need to do is remember that you are beautiful with or without your husband's approval. What your husband is doing has nothing to do with you. He's being controlled by the spirit of lust. Even though what he's doing has nothing to do with you, his behavior is effecting and infecting the marriage relationship. His behavior is a form of cheating even though it's not physical. And if he continues this behavior, the possibilities of him cheating physically with another woman become greater. My husband used to do the same thing. I told him it's either me or the porn. No other woman is going to be naked in my house but me. There are certain behaviors that I'm not going to put up with and having a husband that likes to look at porn is one of them. So yes, tell your husband that you're bothered by what he's doing and that you are not going to live your life this way. Sweet heart, stay strong. If you're not strong, then get strong. And let your husband know that you are to be honored and not neglected or taken advantage of. Let him know that respect is a must in the marriage and that him looking at naked women is disrespectful toward you his wife. So it's either his family or the porn. If he decides not to change or puts up an arguement, then you have to make some serious decisions about the way you want to live. Keep in mind that he might be addicted and may need some help overcoming this problem.
2016-05-23 22:00:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's completely normal. He probably watches it behind your back because he's afraid you'll be upset with him. Please don't be upset with him. We all have fantasies - we all have dreams that we never expect to come true or even WANT to come true. We're all attracted to celebrities or people on the street, but it doesn't mean we want to be with them. We like the fantasy - the forbidden. A lot of women fantasize about things they would never want to happen in real life, simply for curiosity's sake. Porn is stimulation of the mind and body, not a rejection or a betrayal. It doesn't have to do with being attractive - there are men who are married to porn stars themselves and still watch different porn stars. If it's bothering you that he kept it from you, sit down and ask why, but be prepared to be understanding. In the end, it's a small thing if he's a good guy.
2007-12-17 18:51:06 · answer #4 · answered by Grace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't beat him so you should join him and use it to your advantage that is if you still enjoy sex after eating the wedding cake!!! You should have learned the facts of life before you got married:
1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want to hear the truth. You can ask me anything.
I don't lie.
2007-12-14 00:06:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no problem with my husband watching porn.... It's a fantasy/visual thing. I am very self-confident about my looks, and his looking at porn (whether I know about it or not) does not make me feel any less attractive. Now I WOULD be concerned if it were underage girls.
2007-12-13 21:52:40 · answer #6 · answered by Aimee R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would send him email pictures of me with the title Really, really good stuff.
Porn is damaging to marriage and it is not acceptable. It is addictive also.
Have you noticed that porn is at an all time high and so is impotence and Viagra sales?
I would:
ask him to stop
if he doesn't, contact the chaplain or his commanding officer
if that doesn't work - apply social pressure, tell his Mom/family
get counseling as soon as he gets back
What we see goes into our brain; what is in the brain we think about and replay like a movie; thinking about porn causes lust, lust causes men to act out - joking jesting flirting touching cheating.
Joy to you...
2007-12-13 20:28:23 · answer #7 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry about it. If I stored porn I would store it under a joke name that I wouldn't normally name something. I look at porn when ever I want. I just don't like to keep it on my computer. Porn is normal for a guy, it might even spice up your love life.
2007-12-13 20:25:10 · answer #8 · answered by AT 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i really don't think you have anything to worry about. Most men use porn we all know that. Men need time to themselves as much as women do. If you want to share with him sometimes then take the lead and buy some porn for you both to use, have you ever thought he might be waiting for you to do that. have you actually asked him about this yet ?
2007-12-13 20:27:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't listen to the misconception here. To my opinion, first off all, porn should be shared with the spouse. Just imagine what would he feel if you kept videos and pix of nude muscle men and watches them when he is not around ROTFL LoL. I think it is more healthy to share the porn and not keep to oneself!! LoL
2007-12-13 20:30:30 · answer #10 · answered by James ™ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋