Ok so here is my story i was eating left over godfathers pizza and well that stuff terrorizes my stomach. So i was gassy before i even started on left overs in the morning. When i got to school i was a (freshman) the rule is you cant go upstairs till the bell rings well i new the bell was going to ring in about a min. So i went up and i farted. What was funny was this fart was and still is the best fart i ever had. It had that global warmer effect. You know where it litteraly burns as it comes out you could almost sware it burned your butt hairs off. Well any hoo i ran down the hall hid by the bathroom and the bell rang. I heard at first a lot of ews, but then i started hearing wtf is that. Holy bajesus what the hell is that. Stuff like that. Thats when a kid passed out. They reviewed the cameras and suspended me for doing bodily harm to another student. Thing is how in the hell did they prove that when you cant see a fart. Kinda weird eh?
2007-12-13 18:48:27 · 15 answers · asked by Thomas L 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Maybe the cameras have sound and can hear you farting before kids started reacting to it. I have a good one, but not that good.
I'm a senior in college. Some days I will get this nice bulk of air going through my intestines that threatens to force it's way out. Some of them will even try to burn their way through, making me wonder if it is a shart or just an SBD. This one day I managed to hold it in until I was out of sight of everybody, and then it wouldn't come for me at a good time. I got home and started to take my boot off (it was winter). I guess I moved my body just right to release it nice and slowly. Since I thought my roommate was out of earshot in his room, I just let it go and it whined for what felt like a minute. I even got an applause from my roommate for holding it out so long.
2007-12-13 19:05:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I was about 12 my brother was 10, were in church and the minister is telling everyone what it is to sin, "when you do something that you know is wrong and you do it anyway" well right then my brother farted, a really loud one, and everyone in church heard it, I said, a little too loud, now thats a sin, and we started laughing out loud, and couldn't stop laughing, some people around us even laughed a little, it was funny,. Mon grabbed us by the ears and drug us out of there so fast, I felt sorry for how much we embarrassed her that day, but it is a sin right....hehe
2016-04-09 02:18:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was studying at the library and I thought it was harmless, but I let go the mother of all SBD's. A laserlike jet of piercing hot air, it burned coming out, burned in my panties, and burned some more crawling up through the waistband of the skirt I had on at the time and on the small of my back. Wow....
So, I got up, thankfully nothing was liquid - it felt so hot it might be - and went down another aisle of the library to "look for a book"
Some minutes later, my roommate walked to the table and sniffed the air intently ???
Went to the librarian and reported she smelled a strong sewage odor - and claimed it was raw sewage, not a fart!!!!
2007-12-14 02:56:18 · answer #3 · answered by Karen 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My friend once told me this story. She was at the supermarket with her grandmother and father. In that supermarket there was a jokingsection, where you have all this fun stuff to prank someone. So they were standing there just shopping and she had to fart, so she did.. But the fun thing is that later when her father and grandmother smelt it. Her grandmother asked if it was a jokething. She tought it was just a joking thing from the jokingsection hahah:)
2014-12-10 03:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by eli 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
True story. Sorry if it offends anyone.
I decided to try a new recipe. "French Onion Soup".
About 1 1/2 hours after my husband and son were saying back and forth "good one". "Way to go son!"
"Alright dad!"
"Get a gas mask!"
"Light a match!"
"DON'T LIGHT A MATCH!"
Etc.
It was mid-January (about 27 degrees F) and we had most of the windows open in the house.
Meanwhile I was taking way too much Gas-X.
As well I am sorry you were so embarrassed by your unavoidable circumstances. It's worse than falling in the hall at school in front of the guy you like.
2007-12-13 19:02:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband told me this one.
When he was a kid, wearing a hat and farting was an absolute big sin at the supper table. His dad would bip him on the back of the head and send him to his room if he did either one. This is true. Well, one night at the supper table, the aroma of a fart met his dad's nose. That was it. His dad jumped up, cursed him out, bipped him on the back of the head and told him to go to his room. My husband said, "but dad I didn't do it, it wasn't me". "Ahh... sure you didn't" his dad said. "I suppose you're going to blame the dog next"
My husband says "It was Cork!" (their dog) "Dad I swear" about that time, another big fart cloud consumed the air. Then his dad looked under the table, sure enough, their dog Cork was under there. His dad gave that dog a sore *** and my husband says "see dad I told you it wasn't me". Supper was delayed until the fog cleared.
2007-12-13 19:36:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know a few farty tales.But I'm in a hurry 'cos
I gotta catch a flight.But not to disappoint you here's a limerick.
There was a man from Tartar,
Who was a great farter,
He could fart anything,
From God Save the King ,
To Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.
2007-12-14 04:22:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
So I saw my crush walking down the hallway, and I started trying to play it cool. He waved and smiled and stopped next to me to talk. He said, "Hi, what's up?" And I blush and giggle and say, "not really anything." He nods and says "Except that I'm going to race you to class!" I ran behind him, even though I seriously had no chance of beating him! Then, I fell on my butt and he looked back and walked towards me. "You okay?" He asked. I nodded, and was about to get up. But before I did, a massive fart bursted out of me. It smelt HORRIFIC!!! He covered his nose and said, "WHAT IS THAT??! Was that you?!!!??????" I pretended to cover my nose too, so he wouldn't think it was me. I said, "Ew, no." He stared at me like I was gross, and casually walked away!
2015-11-19 00:38:18 · answer #8 · answered by lillymilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was at a goodwill with my boyfriend at the time and my parents. I was looking trough the books and records and my stomach started to hurt really bad. So I look to my right and than my left and I let one rip. It was big, I did not expect it to be that big. So I just keep looking at the books, and I get the feeling someone is behind me. I slowly turn my head and my boyfriend at the time is standing behind me with a funny face. We started cracking up and everyone started looking at us. It was sooooooo hilarious!
2007-12-13 18:55:57 · answer #9 · answered by bentleypup 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
A picture says a thousand words.
http://never-fart-in-wet-suit.funnypart.com/
2007-12-13 19:03:52 · answer #10 · answered by nytebreid 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋