I am truly hurt by your responses, a 50 year old man still has a heart and can still fall in love?

Question

My heart is not bound by a marriage. If I have fallen for a 23 year old, that is not a sin. It is love and it happens all the time. Do not be so rude in your comments, I would appreciate your support as this is hard on me.

I am more than willing to leave my wife and give her enough to make her ends meet. I don't see a problem with all of this

Answer 1

u may still have a heart but not for the woman u vowed to love and cherish, and there ain't no fool like an old fool. have u considered what this will do to your wife, and your children? it is a sin to cheat and betray your wife.

Answer 2

I think I may be one of the ones that answered your wife's question only she said it was a 60 year old man with a 23 year old. Please read the whole thing before you give up in disgust. When you got married you said for better or worse. You promised to be faithful. YOU PROMISED. It is cruel for you to have thrown away something that is to be cherished something so intimate. If you think people are rude it is mostly in reaction to doing something like that after being married for so long. You have thrown away a lifetime of memories, good times and bad times but not only that your wife was your family. I think that is something people forget. I try to remember because, when I think of parents as family they are my family not just my mom and dad. What made them family was the fact that they were married. Yes yes I know it takes more than a marriage to make a family and that is what you had.
That said, you want support. I cannot condone nor support your actions. Continuing with the 23 year old will be difficult for her and you. If you are 50 you are not much older than me. You are probably young at heart and hopefully your body is not as ravaged by time (arthritis and the like) as others. You still have a good 10, 20 or even 30 years left ahead of you. If you are having difficulty with leaving your wife and wish that she would just leave you alone and the guilt that you have to leave you alone it won't. My dad always says change what you can and don't worry about what you can't. In other words since you have already hurt your wife you cannot change what you have done nor her feelings. It is not to say to dismiss her feelings nor yours but accept them and go on. That is all you can do and that is about all the support I can manage.

Answer 3

Sorry you are offended. But you had to take some sort of action to get involved with another woman while married. Yeah, the wife gets older and less attractive so you go after some 'new model'. Old story - happens all the time and it is self-centered. Don't think it is your heart not bound by marriage - so you're going to do what you want no matter what our opinions are. Another mid-life marriage down the drain; sure your wife feels quite used and unattractive, but just so you get your ego-stroking; who cares.

Answer 4

Again...wouldn't it be easier to smoke pot and buy a convertible? This is just weird. If you want to scr*w your wife over and divorce her so that you can hook up with a 23 year old then feel free. Asking for opinions from others is silly if you aren't prepared to hear the answers.

The 23 year old can do so much better though; and she will figure that out in short order. Then you are a nothing but a washed up, middle aged man, who lost his wife while he was in the middle of a midlife crisis. You can watch your 23 year old girlfriend take off with some hot young a*s that you simply cannot compete with. Interesting how what goes around comes around huh?

Answer 5

Hi Dave.. I think the problem most people have with this kind of relationship is that they believe it always just about sex on the part of the older man. Maybe it is, you give the impression it is not. The real issue you are going to face in any kind of long term relationship, is that you have very little history in common. Although this seems like not that big a deal at the moment, it will come into play eventually. Plus, with this kind of age difference, it really isn't fair to her. She should be experiencing lifes challenges with someone her own age so that the experiences are new. When you date an older person, they have been there done that. It takes away a lot of the mystery and challenge from life for the younger person. The trials you face as a young person help to shape the adult you will become.

She needs to find her own way and not have someone pave the way for her. Good luck

Answer 6

Age is one tough nut to crack.

Nothing is wrong with a may december or may january type of relationship.

You do need to assess the difficulties and try to be realistic.

There will be times where you just dont see eye to eye on something and you have to agree to disagree.

You will have to be careful not to use your age advantage to steer your young lady into things she may not want to do.

You will have to accept that the age difference may have her being more of a nursemaid than a companion. She needs to understand that there may come a time when you need her to stand by you when things are firm or infirm. If she can see this then it will work, if not you might find she splits the minute you have a health issue.

I would suggest she go through a CNA program that the Red Cross offers, this will at least prepare her for geriatric care and will help her to understand the demands of aging, so that she does not put undue hardship on you. I am not saying that she has to treat you OLD but she needs to accept it when say 20 years from now your 70 and she is only 40 and you say have trouble with your heart, or cant walk, or whatever may befall you. You will even burn easily if she tries to take a hot shower with you, so be knowledgable in your commitment.

Answer 7

Yes you do still have a heart...just not a conscience. I'm sorry if you find my comment "rude" but it isn't very likely that very many women are going to be polite considering you're married and have let yourself fall in love with someone else. I don't care how old she is, you took vows, and now you're betraying those vows. Good luck with the young chicken but what happens when she's 30 (which is how old I am) and you're almost 60? Honestly, I would make sure you exercise regularly so that you are in good shape for her and have enough energy to keep up...I'm being polite in that recommendation and serious.

Answer 8

Apparently I missed the first question you posted. However, a 23 year old interested in a 50 year old is interested in nothing more than what you can provide for her which is money.

I guarantee, that despite your feelings for this 23 year old, your relationship will not last. You are having a mid-life crisis. I suggest you get some counseling

Answer 9

Sometimes the truth does hurt....

Have you thought about the hurt to your wife and children? Family and friends?

Most people will not condone this conduct.

I saw this situation where I used to work - all three - wife, husband, and young mistress worked at the same company. There was gossip all over the company and the husband and mistress lost their jobs. The couple was married about 22 years and had children. He continued his very public fling so the wife divorced him and he married his young lover. They were married less than five years, then divorced. Meantime his kids were disgusted with him and barely on speaking terms and by that time the wife had another husband.

Another case I heard of was same basic scenario, but when the husband announced to his nearly adult boys that he was leaving their Mom for a younger woman, they said "oh, no, you're not! You're not going to treat our Mom like that" and they threatened to beat him up. So he stayed.

A lot of people are going to look down on you and it will be difficult for you to constantly comfort your young mistress when people think of her as a trashy homewrecker and you as a dirty old man. If this little forum hurt feelings, imagine what it will be like then.

Anyway, sorry I cannot support you on this one. My sympathy to your wife and children and family. It's going to be chaos and heartbreak. I recommend you give it up now.

Joy to you.

Answer 10

I love your terminology. Falling for a 23 year old isn't a "sin." Okay...that may not be, but leaving your wife because the 23 year old makes you hot... I kinda think that is...

I have seen too many of these relationships fail, you should hang on to your wife and family...who have STUCK by you during this crisis of yours.
Believe me, your wife knows your interests are elsewhere and is a good woman if she is still sticking by you.

Answer 11

The only thing I would suggest that you keep in mind when it comes to your ages is this- She probably doesn't know exactly what she wants out of life yet. She's figuring it out still. The age difference could cause some problems if it gets really serious. If you get married and she wants children in 5 years, will you be able to provide that for her? Do you share the same interests? How will your family feel about this?