My mother has collected clutter in my house since as long as i remember. The garage is filled to the ceiling, her bedroom has a pile, the dining room, various objects on the patio and throughout the house there are piles of clutter. The more than half of the stuff she has is completely usless and would not be useful to anybody. Whenever you ask her about a specific item she will reply with "i could use that one day" or "im going to fix that up" or "thats not garbage, somone could use that". I saw her open her email up one day, it had over 10,000 messages, i said why dont you delete that? she said she is going to go through it one day. my sister and i occasionaly throw a box away, but the trash is overwhelming and somthing needs to get done, she is going to end up dying with all this s***. Whenever i try to talk to her about it she just gets super stressed out and pissed off and just avoids the situation by walking away. She is completely helpless. HELP ME!
2007-12-13 16:10:46 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Home & Garden ➔ Cleaning & Laundry
Want to know what someone told me once ? I used to be somewhat of a pack-rat myself....not nearly like your mother is it sounds, but I still kept things for sentimental reasons...a friend of mine told me this...
"Take a picture of your items that you never use but think you need to keep and then store the items away for 6 months- and "visit" these items via the photographs. After 6 months, if you haven't touched, used or even thought about these items, it's time to throw them out as it's obvious you don't need them. Keep the photos in a special album and if you ever have the urge to see them, you have the pictures as an album if far less space consuming than the actual items."
I don't know if this is an option for yall, but I figured I'd share it :-)
Have a blessed day and a very Merry Christamas :-o)
2007-12-13 16:22:45 · answer #1 · answered by + † + Tobias 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You probably can't "cure" and you're only going to give yourself a headache if you try. There are, however, ways you can help her and yourself.
If your mother grew up in The Depression it could have something to do with it. If this is the case it might be helpful to gently point this out to her and then to reassure her that this is a different time she will be provided for. You might also want to try asking her to clean some of it up out of respect to you. Start with sometime small and simple. Ask her to throw away two pieces of trash (anything that she feels she could part with from a piece of scrap paper to the extra kitchen sink =P ) Then hold her to it. Don't make it stressful, just ask her to pick up two pieces of any size an throw them away.... it may not seem like much but that's 730 pieces of trash per year. Also, tell her that in order to bring new things in she needs to throw old stuff out. It's her choice to whether or not she'd prefer the old or the new but she can't just keep bringing more stuff in.
Also, the next time she says she's planning to do something with a particular item ask her to give you a deadline for when the object will be used or the project will be completed. Gently let her know that you are holding her to this. If she doesn't get it completed then get rid of it. If it does get used productively or done, let her have it. This will at least get the most useless items out of the house. It's a slow process and it's bound to make your mother a little anxious but it will probably work without giving her or you a giant crisis.
Counseling and cognitive behavior therapy might also be other good options for your mother
2007-12-14 00:38:02 · answer #2 · answered by a j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mom has an illness and needs counselling but unless she admits it, she's not likely to get any. Instead, you need to talk to someone about ways you can address this. I would suggest finding a psychologist who knows something about this (if you have it at work, use your EFAP referral service). This is a really tricky situation and if she won't or can't get professional help with this, you need to. Good luck and I hope it works out for you.
2007-12-14 00:54:55 · answer #3 · answered by seachange9899 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its kinda funny, cause i am a pack rat... i admit it, not freely, but i am... we are moving on tuesday, and i actually had to go through clothes that i had. i was so sad to give all those clothes up, and i wanted to go and pick through them and get a few shirts, but a few would turn into everything, even though i can t wear any of it anymore (i have gained alot of weight, and since being on the pill, my boobs have grown significantly)... there is no way to cure it. if you were to get rid of everything that is useless, she would just go and find more useless stuff. it is a vicius cycle.
2007-12-14 00:25:10 · answer #4 · answered by firegodess917 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My aunt is kinda like your mother, she buys way too many collectibles like beanie babies. My uncle gave her an ultimatum, he said she could try selling most of them or he would get rid of them all. It worked, most are sold off now.
Maybe you could just show up one weekend and act really strict with her, tell her enough is enough.
2007-12-14 00:52:54 · answer #5 · answered by Helena Handbasket 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you will just have to live with it.you can't change her not after all these years the only thing you can do is try to talk to her.try talking her into having yard sales they might be fun for her only thing you can do.
2007-12-14 12:13:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds a little like OCD maybe you should have a look at getting her to a psych. as it is unlikely to go away by itself
2007-12-14 00:15:48 · answer #7 · answered by jasmine d 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋