I have a tenant that is on drugs. I want to help him, by paying for him to go to a treatment facility. But everyone says I'll be waisting my money. What should I do?
2007-12-13 15:49:57 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
youre the sweetest and the most kindhearted girl ive ever met on this planet since ive walked this earth.
help him, he needs it and prolly wont forget your kindness.
2007-12-13 15:55:17 · answer #1 · answered by NONAME 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You're primary responsibilities are to yourself and your family. I'm sure your heart is in the right place but please remember that there are resources available for people with drug and alcohol problems. Your tenant could research those resources if he wants to get clean. He could start by calling social services. There are clinics available for those with limited income. In fact, you would be doing him a disservice by paying for him to go to a treatment facility. You just cannot make it too easy for him. Please do not bail him out. Do not cut him a break on the rent. It is only when he reaches rock bottom that he will truly try to get clean. I am speaking from personal experience and from the advice that I received from therapists over the years while my daughter battled with these kinds of issues. Believe it or not...it would be kindest to let him reach rock bottom. I know it's hard but I'm telling you the truth. Good luck.
2007-12-13 15:59:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've helped him enough already by just letting him stay there.
Addictions, by their nature, include relapses. Look at all the celebs who check themselves in and out of Betty Ford.
Around 90-95% of those who "quit," by going into treatment have relapses. There are people are fortunate to be able to quit on their own, but the numbers are very low.
I'm sure your tenant is a nice guy or you wouldn't be even considering spending your own money on him. But keep this in mind: He will not quit until HE wants to quit. That could take years, or never happen at all.
For HIS sake, evict him. Hopefully he will learn something then. That will be the only way to get him to look deeply into himself and make the changes he needs to get out of his current life style. No one can do it for him.
Your heart is in the right place, but tough love must be used instead.
2007-12-13 16:06:05 · answer #3 · answered by ThisIsIt! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure this is just a tenant, but you cannot know if treatment will do the trick. It takes one who wants to be helped to make that work, no matter who pays for it.
2007-12-13 15:53:16 · answer #4 · answered by Boomer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a tuff one. if the treatment facility is one that he has to stay at in till he is better there is a 50/50 chance it could work if its not I don't see how an addict will go and not buy his drugs. FYI the worst I mean the worst thing you can do for him is pay all of his bills that is making him irresponsible don't do that/ good luck
2007-12-13 15:54:24 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't kick him out unless he is late on rent.. You could save his life by making him accountable. If you can afford it, u could save his life helping him into treatment. Only he can make that decision though, that is the honest truth. You didn't say what he was on, some drugs are harder to kick than others.
2007-12-13 15:54:04 · answer #6 · answered by Elle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
donate to a charity
(tax write off) instead of throwing your money down the drain....
whatch the a & e show called INTERVENTION
look it up online
These people dont appreciate ANY of the help that they get un only get it when their family and friends have burned out ....
Also before you put on your clara barton hat, you might consider that helping him could be dangerous. Once you are viewed as a source of money, you could find that this person wants to come back to your place and clean you out of house, possesions and your dignity
2007-12-13 15:54:48 · answer #7 · answered by lisa s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are all in this life together. I think should help him IF....1) you feel called to help him 2) it isn't going to ruin you financially 3) he wants to go into rehab 4) you can do it with your eyes open knowing it might not work out 5) if he drops out before completing the program - so do you. He's got one chance from you and if he blows it you walk out of his life.
Also, since I don't know you - if you are constantly pulling people like this into your orbit, seek therapy and find out why. Peace.
2007-12-13 16:03:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thing is.. you want to help.. it is good to want to help. But a junkie will use you soooo badly. If he is really really into wanting to turn it all around and wants to do the work, you could give it a shot. But likely he will try to string you along. Just go in with your eyes open. Junkies can't help it. But sometimes the best love is tough love. If it were me, he would have to be evicted.
2007-12-13 15:56:46 · answer #9 · answered by CB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a recovered alcoholic with almost 4 years sober. If you have tried helping him, you have done your part and showed him mercy. He HAS to hit bottom, before he will seek help and if he is the real deal, TRUST ME , he will not change unless he hits bottom. You may have to stop helping him beacuse at this point you may be interfering in the Law of Sowing and Reaping. God bless you for trying to help him.
2007-12-13 15:55:18 · answer #10 · answered by tin woman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW, you have a good heart. It may be worth trying once. Drug addictions are tough to beat. You are taking a huge risk, so set some boundaries for yourself dealing with this person. Don't get too involved, you're setting yourself up to be taken advantage of. Please be careful, whatever you decide to do.
2007-12-13 15:57:33 · answer #11 · answered by 4Seasons 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋